(Pics: Just Jared, Wooden Spears, Ugo, Daily Mail)

Wow.  Madonna actually looked really great last night for her birthday bash.  No scary arm gristle, no alarming cheek bones, great dress, great color.

We give Madge a lot of crap here sometimes because let be honest, while she is a legend, she is a frightening, frightening  woman.  But no matter how frightening she is, all I can say is I hope I look half as good as she does when I am her age.  Home girl is 52.  52!  Think of other women you know who are 52 and now think of Madonna.  Its pretty decent by comparison.  If only she looked like this more often and less like this.  The world would be a better place.

Tanya: While I do agree that she looks better than usual here, it’s just weird. Here’s a pic of her when she was 27 (25 years ago!), a pic of Annette Benning who was also born in 1958, and a pic of Scarlett Johansson who is 26. Madonna’s ‘work’ might look good when she’s on stage or posing for pictures (who am I kidding, you know that’s all photoshopped), but in real life it’s creepy. If I was at a party with Madonna, Scarlett Johansson and Annette Benning I’d admire Scarlett for her youthful beauty, respect Annette for her work and the wisdom that comes with age, and I’d stare at Madonna and just think about her face and what she’s done with it. It would distract me from thinking about her extensive career and influence because I’d be more afraid of her flexing her Herculean arms and demanding that Jesus Luz give her some more South American blood so she can swoop down over a small African village and grab another child in her scaly claws.

It’s the same with Micheal Jackson. If I ever met him in person I’d be too busy staring at him trying to see the seam of his prosthetic nose to feel the respect that a musician of that stature deserves.

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