I Smell Smut

Today is Dakota Fanning’s sweet 16th which gives an OK cause for a tiara. I don’t know about the tights though. They are a little too Lohan and I really hope Dakota does not follow in those footsteps.

(pic: JustJared)

Today is Taylor Lautner’s 18th birthday. I had expected this to be a day of rejoicing for Stacey because she wouldn’t feel like a pedo anymore, but instead it’s a day of lamenting the hotness of Taylor Lautner and how Lainey ruined it.

Stacey: Happy Birthday, I guess.  But mostly I am just sad.  And it really sucks that I have to do this on your birthday but…Taylor, I think we need to break up. I know, I know.  Now that you are 18 its not wrong for us to be together.  But since the comparison to Tom was made, I just can’t see past it.  When I look at you, I see his face.  And I worry deep down that you will start wearing his high heals.  Or that you will start jumping on couches and grinning that crazy grin.  I’m sorry, I really am.  I hope we can still be friends

(Pics: Various sources)

Ok, I have to admit something.  I am a bad friend.  I missed a very important birthday shout out last week.  One of our most avid and loyal readers, Cory, had a birthday last Thursday.  And while I texted and phoned, nothing says Happy Birthday like some pictures of your favorite celeb hotties. 

So, Cory, in honor of your birthday and in hopes you will forgive my forgetfulness, please find enclosed some pictures or Hayden Panettiere, Marisa Miller, and your old school, sentimental favorite, Britney Spears (pre baby making and head shaving). Enjoy

[View with PicLens]

Puffy’s little boy turned 16 this weekend and for his coming of age, papa bought him a car. A $360,000 Maybach complete with his own driver. Puffy also gave the young man $10,000.

Also included a pic of Iddy Biddy Diddy (not his real name; it’s actually Justin Dior) sitting on a throne with a crown. My first instinct here was so say that young J. Dior inherited his father’s ego, but he later told reporters that he plans on donating that $10,000 to Haiti relief efforts so I’ll go with my second instinct: the party and the throne are Puffy living vicariously through his son.

(pics: Dlisted)

Sometimes I call Jesus Luz “Madonna’s 4th Child” because of how young he is, but I forgot how young he actually is. Today is Luz’s 23rd birthday. *shudder* Imagine dating a 50yr old when you were 22. *BARF!*

Side note: Why do these people always get up and DJ at their birthday parties? I highly doubt any of them have any sort of practice or skill. Does the DJ in charge even let them touch the buttons? I wouldn’t. I’d be all “Here’s the deal. You get up in the booth, you can put on these headphones, and you can touch this one little dial. Don’t touch anything else. This is my equipment and I will mess you up if you touch anything else”. I suspect that celebrities DJ’ing is equivalent to picking out the next song you want to play in iTunes.

Stacey: When I was recently looking at buying a new guitar, one of the guys at the music store that was helping me was telling me that they sell turn tables two to one on guitars.  Back in the day, kids wanted to learn how to play guitar.  Now they want to spin.  Which is why you see everyone and their dogs behind the decks now.

And DJs are extremely anal about their stuff.  But I am sure being Madonna’s hired boyfriend has many perks.  And playing with anything you like is probably one of them.

(Pic: I’m Not Obsessed)

Gwen Stefani turned 40 this weekend and celebrated with her family.

Fabulous at 40? Not Gwen. Gwen is phen-freekin-nominal at 40!!

Stacey: 40?  40?  I don’t believe that she is 40!  Madonna is only 10 years older.  She looks like she is 20 years older.  Gwen rocks.

Today is Prince Hot Ginge’s 25th birthday. What better way to celebrate than with a hot topless photo?

Happy Birthday Harry!!

Stacey: The Spare is definitely my favorite royal.  He’s got some spice.  Although, he apparently doesn’t have good taste in woman and likes to slum it with trashy bar stars in Calgary. 

Happy birthday Prince Hot Ginge!  I hope you are surrounded with all the tub tarts your heart desires.

I saw this photo over at Dlisted and couldn’t believe my eyes. Jonathan Rhys-Meyers with long hair and hotness.

The long hair tones down the drug-eyes. He should consider going back to this. The pubes hanging out over the belt however is something that should not be revisited.

Happy 32nd birthday JRM!

To my very best friend in all the world who is celebrating her 30th birthday today!

And to help celebrate your birthday, we have chosen some pictures of some hot guys that you like

I know who your real dream guy is, but hopefully these pictures are equally enjoyable.

Here’s to another year of continued growth, love and happiness.  I love you!

[View with PicLens]

Today is Derek Jeter’s 35th birthday. Happy Birthday!

I’d have to say Derek Jeter is my #2 All-American Hero. You know the type: the good looking caption of the team that would stop to get a kitten out of a tree. Tom Brady is my #1. Tom Brady probably wouldn’t get a kitten out of a tree, but his good looks would convince the ladies that kittens aren’t worth saving anyway.

Stacey: I am gonna be honest here…I don’t get the Derek Jeter attraction.  I never have.  Talented, yes?  Quiveration worthy?  Not for me.  Tom Brady, on the other hand….

I never knew you had such a thing for athletes, Tanya.

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