I Smell Smut

Here’s little Levi McConaughey channeling the “hobo chic” look and actually pulling it off. How cute is this? The suspenders? The po’ boy with bird heads on it? The over sized flood pants with thigh hole?

Puh-lease. This kid kills me. I can picture him riding in a train car with a harmonica, next to his dad who would have his bongos strapped to his back.

Stacey: OMG this picture is killing me.  Too much cuteness!

(pic: JustJared)

Nahla & Halle Berry hit up the park yesterday and reminded us of how absolutely adorable they are

Hugh Jackman giving his daughter Ava Jackman a shoulder ride and just looking at this picture triggers memories of my parents yelling at me. I’d pinch a nose, cover eyes or stick a finger in an ear for a good time while getting a shoulder ride but no one ever thought it was funny

Stacey: Hugh looks like he is the coolest dad. 

(pic: Socialite Life)

(Pic: thebsreport)

This is pretty much the worst story that I have heard in a while.

Since Michael Jackson passed away his three children have been living with their Grandmother and some of their cousins.  Apparently, Jermaine Jackson’s 13 year old son, Jaafar (like from Aladdin?) purchased a stun gun over the internet.  He then intended to use it on Michael’s youngest son, Blanket.

Seriously.

What on earth would possess a kid to want to stun gun another kid?  Hasn’t poor Blanket been through enough and now his cousins want to taser him?  I can only imagine that this house, which apparently has 8 of the grand kids in it, is much like a school, with the “cool” kids picking on the losers, thinking up cruel and unusual things to do to one another.

Thank goodness that Child Protective Services was able to get involved before this stun gun was put to use.  One of our friends had one and all our guy friends (including my husband) took turns doing it to one another.  Yes, grown men tasered each other.  But these are grown ass man, 180 to 200 lbs.  And it dropped them.  Could you imagine if this had been used on a child?

And how on earth are you able to order these things over the internet?

Tanya: I’m not gonna lie, I probably would have tasered my cousin’s when I was a kid if I had the chance. And I definitely would have tasered my brother. No hard feelings bro, but I’m sure you would have done the same.

But we didn’t have any credit cards as kids so we couldn’t order taser guns online.

Disney’s Aladdin came out in 1992 and I’m guessing Jaafar was born in 1996 so yeah, he was totally named after that. Who names their kid after the villain? That would be like having a kid today and naming him “Voldemort”.

This is so great. Angelina Jolie is turning Shiloh into a boy by forcing her to wear boy clothes and calling her “John”.

This makes me want to work for Life & Style. Seriously. Mindless banter & gossip is one thing but ridiculous & outlandish “factual statements” from an actual publication are another. You know what I’d write about I Smell Smut? “Stacey & Tanya don’t just argue like an old married couple – they really are married! Stacey wants out but can’t bear to break the news. Tanya is secretly carrying Stacey’s love child!”

Stacey: Lol.  That is pretty funny.  I like the one where you are carrying my love child.  Although I am trying to figure out exactly how that would work. 

This is the part of gossip blogging and rag mags that gets to me.  Its one thing to write things about her parents, its another to write mean things about her.  I think she looks cute.  And I am sure that Brad and Angie are great parents.  Just because she isn’t wearing a dress doesn’t make her a boy or mean that she wants to be a boy or that Angie is making her a boy.  And as much as I dislike Angie, why is it her fault?  Totally outrageous. 

(Pic: Just Jared)

This post is a shout out to Tanya, who has a mid term today that she is not super enthused about.  So in an attempt to send her some positive vibes here is her fav celeb baby daddy, Gabriel Aubrey, and his beautiful littel girl, Nahla.

Hope you enjoy his yumminess, Tan; we haven’t been seeing a lot of him lately.  And hopefully their combined beauty will help propel you to kicking your mid terms ass!

Tanya: Yay!! Thanks Stace! The midterm was painful and my eyes hurt after. Thankfully Gabriel Aubrey is here to soothe them. Ahhhhhh. So easy on the eyes.

(Pic: Gossiprocks)

After much speculation over the mystery Jolie Pitt child that was being carried around they other day, the mystery has been solved!

While 45% of I Smell Smut readers thought it was Shiloh’s evil twin brother, it turns out it was just Shiloh.  With a cute new hair cut!

There has been a lot of hubbub over the fact that little Miss Shiloh is turning into quite the little tomboy.  I say, who cares!  Look how cute she is!  Not every little girl needs to wear bows and dresses.  I like that Brad and Angie appear to be letting her cultivate her own little personality.

But I bet the only reason she got that hair cut is because she got something stuck in it.  I did that when I was younger.  I had long hair then I got a brush so badly tangled in it that they had to cut it and the rest of my hair off.  Took forever to grow out again!

Tanya: I got a brush stuck in my hair and had to cut it out too And my grandma gave me such a hard time about it while she was cutting it out. Getting gum out of hair is definitely easier.

I like Shiloh’s tomboy look. My guess is that she does it to be different from Zahara.

Cruz Beckham is turning 5 and for his birthday he is having a Transformers birthday party!!! Sweeet!!! They held the party at the Extreme Martial Arts Center. Think they taught the kids any sweet fighting scene tricks?

Theme parties are the absolute awesomest. <3

Doesn’t Cruz look like mini David Beckham?

Stacey: Cruz is so cute!  And I love his costume.  Where do I get me one of those?

(Pics: JustJared, I’m Not Obsessed)

(Pic: Just Jared)

Amidst all the “Who is this child” business, we missed the action coming from the real star of the Jolie Pitt family…Miss Zahara herself!  This kid kills me!  Of any celeb baby I think I would want to baby sit Miss Z.  She has everything.  The looks, the sass, the attitude.  I think this kid would be fun to hang out with.

Tanya: Aaaaahhhhh! SOOOO cute!! Sorry Suri, Miss Z is the new top celebrity kid around these parts.

So we’ve seen pictures of Maddox, Pax, Shiloh, Zahara, Knox & Vivienne as the Jolie-Pitts set up base in Italy, but who is this kid? Most sites are reporting it as Knox, but if you look at the other pictures of Knox Jolie-Pitt that were taken of him yesterday, this kid is undeniably quite a bit bigger.

Who IS this kid?

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Stacey: Too funny.  Tanya and I posted literally minutes apart from one another on the exact same subject.

This is a head scratcher because it is for sure not Knox.  But I don’t think it is Shiloh either.  Unless they dyed her hair or something.  She is a thumb sucker.  But so are a lot of kids.  Hmmmmmmm.

I took the initiative of  compiling a couple photos to help in the analysis.

[View with PicLens]

Tanya: Does Brad have any nephews?

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