I Smell Smut » Celebrity Babies

Boob Watch: Jessica Simpson

Tanya — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 21:12:07 +0000

Jessica Simpson has always had an ample bosom, but her pregnancy boobs are getting ridiculous. And the scary part is she isn’t even due until spring! Jessica Simpson’s boobs might get bigger than the average woman’s pregnant belly. Yikes!

(pic: The Superficial)

Pregnant Beyonce

Tanya — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 23:09:15 +0000

Beyonce showing off her baby bump at a DVD release party. To me, this dress makes it look like she sweats gold and has some giant sweat marks under her armpits.

Who am I kidding, Beyonce probably does sweat gold.

Stacey: Or you could sell her sweat for the price of gold.

(pic: Dlisted)

Less Emo, More Lennon?

Tanya — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 22:41:27 +0000

Ben Affleck has shifted from looking super emo and is now looking more like… John Lennon? No? The homeless guy in the coveralls who walks McLeod and 10th AVE SE (Stacey, you work by there – is the walking homeless guy still a staple in that area or does he pace a different street now?). Even though it’s not a great look, at least it’s not a totally bad look. Much better than Emo Ben.

Seraphina & Violet are pretty adorable though. I wonder if they’re going to have a little brother or a little sister…? Any bets on names for this one? I’m going to guess a daughter named Pearl. Or Ava. Or a son named Boston because there is probably nothing that Ben Affleck loves more than Boston.

Stacey: LOL. I see that guy every morning. He is still kickin’ it.

This Ben reminds me of the Ben that J-Lo dumped. I can’t find any pictures right now though. But he does look homeless.

His girls are so cute. Can’t wait to see Baby Boston.

(pic: Celebuzz)

Just When I Thought I Was Out…

Tanya — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 01:57:08 +0000

They drag me back in.

Stacey & I have been talking and we both kinda miss the blog… so we’re back in the game. Thanks for being patient. We just needed some time. So grab a martini and a cigarette (or a coffee and a mini-chocolate bar ’cause you’re in the afternoon slump at work) and let’s get back at it!

Better or worse than an actual photo of the Biebs?

First things first. The Justin Bieber paternity suit. Teen boy humping everything and facing the consequences or just a girl trying to cash in. My bet is on the girl trying to cash in, get some interviews and maybe her own 15 minutes of fame.

Also: we know that you’re getting all kinds of security warnings when you visit the site. This is just Firefox mean-girling us and spreading rumors. We practice safe smut and are not hosting any malicious content nor are we trying to infect you with anything. Hopefully we’ll have this fixed shortly.

Stacey: If they keep mean-girling us, I will spread all kinds of nasty rumors about them. Thats right, I will fight fire with fire.

Sorry to play with your heart strings, peeps. It was a heavy month last month, and a crazy few months prior to that. I think we just needed some time away from celeb gossip to un-jade ourselves. Because to be honest, I was feeling a little angry at all things celeb related. Even pictures of cute celeb babies were giving me a case of the eye rolls. But I think we can get back into it.

As far as the Bieb goes. I was kinda hopin’ that he knocked this girl up. Just because it would be great for gossip. To bad she seems like she is a nutter butter.

(pic: nogoodforme.com)

Zuma Rossdale: Chill as Always

Tanya — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 19:49:26 +0000

Here’s Zuma Rossdale out for a coffee with mom, flashing the photogs the peace sign.

Stacey: OMG. So cute. And so cool. Already giving the peace sign.

(pic: Socialite Life)

Beyonce’s Baby Belly

Tanya — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 02:58:35 +0000

Beyonce & Jay-Z are chilling in Croatia and B is showing off her baby bump. WOW. I have absolutely nothing but speculation here but I’d say she’s like 6 months along. She did a good job keeping it under wraps. By my estimate she’ll be having a Christmas baby

Stacey: Hehe. She has a cute little baby belly. But I suppose this is what a pregnant belly looks like when their is a 6 pack of muscles over top.

(pic: Celebuzz)

Harlow!

Tanya — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 18:19:10 +0000

Wow, it’s been awhile since we’ve seen our #1 cutie Harlow Madden on the site. Check out these ringlets!! SO CUTE!

Stacey: She IS the cutest. We never see her anymore. That letter Nicole wrote about leaving her babies alone must have scared off all the paparazzi. Yay?

(pic: JustJared)

Big Bro Romeo

Tanya — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 17:09:52 +0000

Sorry for the back-to-back Harper posts but I couldn’t resist. How cute is Romeo Beckham as he gets to hold Harper? Answer: too cute.

Stacey: Look at the big smile! He totally loves his little sis. That girl is going to be s-p-o-i-l-e-d. And I love how Mommy Posh looks like she is giving him the “be careful with her! Make sure you are holder her head!” warning that all mommies give. She looks amazing too.

(pics: Socialite Life)

Safety First for Harper Beckham

Tanya — Sat, 03 Sep 2011 02:33:19 +0000

My baby is 3 months old already and I would not go out with her in heels like the one Posh Beckham is wearing. I won’t even go out with her in 3 inch heels. Why? Because you’re already a little off kilter to begin with (pregnancy kills your joints) and then you’re carrying around a little baby that likes to squirm and wiggle. Maybe if I was on my 4th kid I’d be a little more comfortable with the whole situation, but on my first I’m playing it safe and keeping with sturdy footwear.

Maybe that’s why David Beckham is carrying Harper. Safety first!

Stacey: I am surprised she isn’t carrying her…what is a better accessory than a new born baby? Maybe a new Balenciaga bag? Just kidding…I am so not comparing babies and handbags…or am I?

(pic: JustJared)

Beyonce + Jay Z = Baby!!

Tanya — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 05:36:05 +0000

I am so excited for this! Beyonce showed off her bump at the MTV Video Awards and effectively announced that she and Jay Z are expecting a baby!!

This is going to be the coolest kid ever. I can’t wait to watch them grow up (wait, does that sound incredibly creepy..?).

Stacey: On second read it does sound a little creepy, Tan.

I know you are excited about this but for me it is just another celeb pregnancy. And maybe it is just me but I thought it was a little tacky how she revealed it. For people who are normally so private about their personal lives I felt the reveal was a little…exploitive? Maybe its just me.

But I am happy for them.

(pic: Celebuzz)