One word: crap. I have been reading every gossip website today and there is just nothing good to write about. I’m sorry if you’ve been checking the site and are full of the yawns due to slow posting. So to spice up your day a bit here is a picture of 3 people I’d love to punch in the face and some other dude who gets two face punches just for hanging out with them.

If you don’t believe me about the gossip drought, here’s the days highlights:

• Gwyneth Paltrow did not get a record deal
• Jonah Hill lost weight
• Ja Rule is starting his jail sentence in June
• Lindsay Lohan is still not going to jail, neither is Mel Gibson

(pic: JustJared)

Owen Wilson couldn’t hold it ’till they got back to the clubhouse – The Superficial - S: Eeeewwwww.

Isla Fisher & Sacha Baron Cohen welcome baby #2 (but who knows how long ago?) – People – S: Do you think they are hiding the new baby for a reason? T: I don’t think they’re hiding it for any sort of smutty reason. People Magazine said they are “incredibly private” and haven’t even confirmed their wedding that happened a few years ago.

Everybody loves James Franco – Socialite Life – S: Except me.  Nothing will ever redeem this.

Everybody loves Justin Bieber – JustJared – S: Again, except me.

Nobody loves Courtney Love – Dlisted – S: Here here!

I love Carey Mulligan’s hair! <3 – Celebitchy – S: Totally!  I wish I could rock this look.

AnnaLynne McCord is the one that got Kellan Lutz into building houses in New Orleans – I’m Not Obsessed

Megan Fox is still in a Bikini – The Superficial

Sheryl Crow adopts another son! – People

Kristen Stewart apologizes for the rape comments – Celebitchy

“I’m not pregnant, I’m just fat” – Khloe Kardashian – I’m Not Obsessed

Septner has a baby girl – Access Hollywood

RIP Rue McClanahan – Dlisted

Shirtless Jake Gyllenhaal. Yes, there’s more where that came from – JustJared - S – He looks like a really sexy caveman.

I think this is why people watch Jersey Shore – The Superficial - S - nothing, not even big boobies, couldmake me watch that show.

Rihanna Broke a Rib – People 

Heather Locklear hits the pole – Dlisted - S - Prrof that just because you are a celebrity doesn’t make you smart or responsible.

JLo the Style Icon of the Decade? Puh-lease. – Socialite Life - S – What?  I demand a recount!

Peaches Geldof works on cleaning up her image by taking pictures of herself licking a dudes ass while Eli Roth looks on. Classy. – !NSFW! Celebitchy - S - If it is possible, I think I actually find Eli Roth more repulsive than I did 5 minutes ago.

Robert Downey Jr Gets a Star on the Walk of Fame

OK, so we have been pretty focused on doing some good research for our Hottest Guys of 2009 (read: staring at photos of hot men all day) that we’ve been pretty bad with covering all the other stuff. So here’s a quick roundup of what’s been going on:

Stacey: Sorry for being such bad bloggers lately!  We promise, once finals are done we will have time to re-dedicate ourselves to the smut. 

Tiger Woods has apparently slept with everyone but me & Stacey, or do you have something to tell me Stacey? – People - Stacey: Nope, not sleeping with him. I think we maybe the only ones!

Robert Downey Jr calls Jude Law “Hotson” (get it, Hot Watson?) – Celebitchy - Stacey: He must be reading our Hot Guys list.

Russell Brand wants to give Katy Perry bigger boobs a baby – CNN - Stacey: Better a baby than an STD.

Tea Leoni & David Duchovny for no other reason except that I like them – Lainey Gossip

Weezer’s tour bus was in an accident, Rivers Cuomo is a bit banged up and their remaining concert dates have been cancelled – NME - Stacey – Sad day.

Some Ryan Reynolds at an awards show – PageSix

(Pic: karebearberners.com)

Because it is a slooooooow gossip week and I have not seen a single story or photo that I feel even a little compelled to write about, here are a bunch of random things that you might find interesting.  And just to get us through the day, I decided to post a picture of an extra cute puppy.  Enjoy!

A new celeb baby with a beautiful name. – People.com

I give it six months - Us Weekly (T: You’re pretty generous. I give it 2 months)

A Bachelor party checklist:  Joe Francis – check! Strippers – check!  Midgets - check! – TMZ

Katy Perry has huge boobs - Just Jared

This is how you wear a suit - Lainey Gossip

Kirk Cameron thinks Darwin = Hitler - TMZ (T: Darwin came before Hitler so shouldn’t Kirk be saying that Hitler is like Darwin? To get all scholarly on his ass I’d like to say that Darwin was concerned with species adaptation and survival and Hitler was concerned with “cleansing” out the German social classes. Darwin would not be cool with that because the diversity is the key. So there Kirk Cameron!)

(Pic Cred: ugo.com)

Well, another day, another “I’ve never had plastic surgery” lie from a visibly altered celeb.  Who is the latest fibber?  The beautiful, age defying Demi Moore.  I’ve have always thought that while her surgeon must be very verygood, she has definitely had work done, but according to an interview from the french Marie Claire, she claims she has never had any work done.  Ever.

“It’s completely false,” …. “I’ve never had it done. But I would never judge those who have. If it’s the best thing for them, then I don’t see a problem. I don’t like the idea of having an operation to hold up the ageing process – it’s a way to combat your neurosis. The scalpel won’t make you happy.”

Liar!

Please see exhibit A (above).  Those babies are fake.  Sorry, but natural breasts don’t look like half an orange stuffed under your skin.  And while they are very nice, they are with out a doubt not real.

I realize it must be in combination with eating healthy, working out, and having millions of dollars in a bank account, but there is nothing to be ashamed about because she looks damn good!  I mean, its not like she looks like this or anything.  I would kill to look half as good as her even now.

But she must really think we are stupid or something. Just because I believe most things I read doesn’t mean I will believe this.  So give us a bit more credit Demi.  And if you are ashamed of it, lying is only making it worse.  isn’t there some old wives tale that says if you lie your face will turn and stay ugly?  Or is that if you make a funny face?  Either way, you’ll just have to get more plastic surgery anyways so may as well tell the truth now.

Click here for Exhibit B.

Tanya: Piffft! No plastic surgery my ass. Maybe she hasn’t had cheek implants or a nose job (scratch that, Exhibit B looks like she HAS had a nose job), but I’m pretty sure she’s hitting botox, has fake boobs and has had a gentle “lift” here or there. She looks great and should be proud of it – and give a little credit where its due.

The gossip world is a little boring today and I’m not feeling inspired to write a post about any of these stories. So for your reading pleasure, here’s what other people are writing about as well as a photo of Pam Anderson & Suzanne Somers. Why not?

Brad Pitt is going to be a cartoon super hero – People

Eric Dane & wife Rebecca Gayheart don’t have a “sex tape” they have a “hanging out naked and taking a bath with another chick” tape – The Superficial

Celine Dion and her old man husband are having another kid, thankfully they clarify that no sex was involved – Socialite Life

Kristen Stewart heads to the salon to figure out how to make her “Joan Jet” hair be “Bella” hair without totally killing the “Kristen” hair – LaineyGossip

Ryan Kwanten shirtless! – JustJared

Gwyneth Paltrow is “snobby” on set of Iron Man 2 and is a b*tch to ScarJo – Dlisted

Michael Lohan is stalking Lindsay, Lindsay is stalking Britney – Celebitchy

Candy Spelling masters Worst Mother Ever, moves on to Worst Grandmother Ever – I’m Not Obsessed

Katy Perry as Minnie Mouse – Socialite Life

Jessica Simpson takes the Girls out for dinner – LaineyGossip

Emma Watson’s Burberry Ads! – JustJared

Sam Worthington’s next project – Towelroad

Leo & Bar “Take a Break” – People

What Madge wants, Madge gets. – The Superficial

Angie films in NYC, Brad shops in Switzerland, who’s watching the kids? – Celebitchy

(Pic: TMZ.com)

Tanya, you were right!  This piece of gossip was too good to be true.

Earlier this week TMZ reported that they had photographic evidence that Tupac Shakur was indeed still alive. Now, the person actually pictured has come forward and as you can see…it ain’t Tupac.  There is a resemblance but definitely not a spitting image.

I will say, the photos from the original post  did kinda look like him.  I guess just I was fooled.