Battleship. The game we all played as kids is getting remade into a movie with Rihanna (above), Alexander Skarsgard and Taylor Kitsch. ASkars & Kitsch are B-list actors (I’m being generous here, you may love them but they’ve both been in practically nothing), Rihanna has never been in a movie before, and Battleship is a seriously boring game. How is this going to be a good movie? I’ve heard they have a HUGE budget for this as well which is bad because it’s probably going to be a flop.

Instead of making a movie about Battleship they should make a movie about some other board games. Specifically: Hungry, Hungry Hippos. Crazed hippos running throughout the savanna crushing and eating people because they’re so hungry, hungry? I think it would be a hit.

Stacey: I am confused by this as well.  Because they are obviously relying on the nostalgic feeling it will give some people, because this was a popular game and still is (you can get an electronic one now so people can’t cheat), but there is no built in story.  So basically, they can do whatever they want and no one (gaming geeks) can really get mad when artistic licence is taken.

So basically, they are just making a movie and sticking a board games name on it.

And Hungry Hungry Hippos 3D would be awesome.  That or Barrel Full of Monkeys.

Remember the movie Mouse Trap?  That movie rocked.

Tanya: I don’t remember the movie Mouse Trap (though the game was great once you got through the painful setup process), but I do remember the movie Jumanji which was pretty awesome.

(pic: People)

(Pic: 3.bp.blogspot.com)

Apparently, only Tanya and I and a select few others were interested in seeing The Switch this past weekend.  Jen Aniston’s latest box office bomb only brought in $8.1 million.  While that is a lot of money to you and I, take into consideration that is probably only a fraction of what they paid each star to be in it.

Placing 8th, this movie was behind The Expendables (#1), Vampires Suck (#2), Eat Prey Love (3), Lottery Ticket (#4), The Other Guys (#5), Piranha 3D (#6), and The Return of Nanny McPhee (#7).

When I saw that it came in #8, I actually felt embarrased for Jen Aniston.  So much so that I needed to email Tanya to tell her:

Stacey:  Did you see how poorly The Switch did at the theatres. Ick.  I actually cringed and groaned.  Poor Jen.

Tanya: I DID!! It got beat by Piranha 3D! How terrible is that? AND I think it even looks like a decent movie.

Stacey: As much as Lainey says it and it makes me roll my eyes…good taste is dead.

Tanya: But on the other side, the Switch is the same as like a million other movies out there.

Stacey:  That’s true.  I guess I just figured it is better than Piranha 3D.  But anything 3D right now is a money maker.  Maybe if they would have done The Switch 3D it would have made some money.

Tanya: I think Piranha 3D is a bunch of hot chicks in bikinis motorboating each other and then some 3d piranha attacks which might not fall under “good taste” but does fall under “awesome”.

Touche, Tanya, touche.  And as we have proven before, chicks motorboating each other is awesome.

(Pic: Just Jared)

If you didn’t think it was possible for Julia Roberts to wear a more hideous dress than yesterday than you were wrong!  Because this “kimono” is straight up u-g-l-y.

U-G-L-Y! She ain’t go no aliby! She ugly, hey hey, she ugly!

Tanya: In all her years of promotional tours Julia Roberts has never gone to Japan before which has spawned a lot of rumours that Julia Roberts hates Japan. Honestly, I think that might be true because why else would you wear this nasty kimono on your trip to Japan? That would be like trying to wear a couture Mountie outfit or designer parka ensemble on your trip to Canada. A terrible fashion choice AND a touch of cultural ignorance.

I am going to go see this movie.  In fact, I am going to take my mom to see it because I think it actually looks really good.  Jason Bateman, Jen Aniston, Juliette Lewis, Patrick Wilson (yummy, BTW) and Jeff Goldblum, plus it is done by the same people who did Juno and Little Miss Sunshine…how could it not be awesome?  I saw the preview this weekend when I went to see Dinner for Schmucks and even my hubby admitted it looks “not bad” which is translation for “I wouldn’t hate seeing it”, which I consider to to be pretty good.

Here are some pics from the premier last night.  I am not even sure if Jon Heder is even in the movie but I thought I would include his picture because I totally love him.

Tanya: I totally want to see this movie. It looks super cute. Jason Bateman is awesome and that kid looks like he’s going to be pretty funny too.

(Pics: Just Jared)

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Tell me that this movie doesn’t look freakin’ hilarious.  As much as I don’t like spoof movies, this one looks awesome.  The parts with the shovel-wielding fans and the Wolfpack dancing are killing me!

(Pic: Just Jared)

I guess the built in fan base for Eat, Prey, Love didn’t come out to support the movie at the box office so far this weekend because Just Jared is reporting that The Expendables brought the most money in on Friday night.

I’m all for the rah rah chick movies too, but why would you go see a movie with that bitchy broad, Julia Roberts when you could go see a movie with I Smell Smut’s reigning #1 Hottest Guy, Jason Statham?  Plus, all the cool tough guys that men like are in this movie, so I am not really surprised.  The Expendables has something for everyone; hot guys for the chicks, violence and action for the guys, everybody wins.  All Eat, Prey, Love has is a story about a woman with a great life who leaves her husband to go on an extended holiday for a year.  Not really much for anyone, IMO.

I want to see The Expendables.  If you need to know why, please see above picture.  Jason Statham on a motorcycle.  Yes please!

Tanya: Ok, Jason Statham is totally hot and worth going to see a movie for. BUT the rest of the movie you’ll be staring at this, so weigh the pros and cons appropriately:

Have you seen the trailer for the new movie about Facebook? I’ll admit that when I heard that they were making a movie about Facebook I thought to my self “that’ll suck” but the trailer actually made it look pretty decent.

Well someone thought “why not make a movie about Twitter”? Actually no, they thought, “a Facebook movie will be pretty stupid but a Twitter movie would be even dumberer” and made a movie trailer to mock the idea. Enjoy.

For anyone who thinks Twitter is the epitome of awesome you can follow I Smell Smut on Twitter here.

Here’s something unusual: a trailer for a Katie Holmes movie I actually wouldn’t mind seeing.

(Pic: Just Jared)

Gary Oldman, Tanya’s old man crush, is apparently filming scenes for a new Red Riding Hood movie called The Girl with the Red Riding Hood, where he will play a character called Father Soloman.  I can’t find out much about the actual movie, but I will see it if only to see Gary Oldman wearing this awesome purple robe.  No one would be able to rock this look except Gary.

Tanya: I’ll go see this with you. Not only does it have my man Gary Oldman, but it also has Lukas Haas who was in Mars Attacks! which is one of those movies that I am embarrassed to admit I really love. Will Lukas Haas be as awkward in The Girl With the Red Riding Hood? Only time will tell.

Gary Oldman can rock the purple robe better than anyone else, but it’s still a really weird thing to wear. I’m glad it’s for a movie and not to wear around the house.

(pic: Just Jared)

We didn’t really report on it here but apparently Edward Norton was recently booted from the new Avenger’s film where he was set to reprise his role as the Hulk.  Ed is notoriously difficult to work with as he expects a lot of creative control and is really hands on.  Ironically, his temper got him fired from playing a character who is famous for his temper. Anyways, there was some he said/she said after the studio released a scathing letter about him.  Which left everyone wondering who would fill his shoes for the much anticipated role.

With Comic-Con running this past weekend, the the actor was revealed.  Apparently, the new Hulk will be played by Mark Ruffalo.  Hmmm.  I am neither excited or disappointed by that.  I guess I really liked Norton as the Hulk and was disappointed by his dismissal.  And I like Mark Ruffalo a lot, but as The Hulk?  Not sold on it.

Here are some of the cast promoting the movie at Comic-Con this past weekend.  Tan, when are we going to Comic-Con?

PS.  How awesome is Robert Downey Jr?

Tanya: Really? Mark Ruffalo? I guess I’ll have to see the movie to decide on this one. And Comic-Con in Calgary isn’t nearly as cool as the one in wherever this is, but we can go next year if you want. ISS day trip?