I Smell Smut

This is so great. Angelina Jolie is turning Shiloh into a boy by forcing her to wear boy clothes and calling her “John”.

This makes me want to work for Life & Style. Seriously. Mindless banter & gossip is one thing but ridiculous & outlandish “factual statements” from an actual publication are another. You know what I’d write about I Smell Smut? “Stacey & Tanya don’t just argue like an old married couple – they really are married! Stacey wants out but can’t bear to break the news. Tanya is secretly carrying Stacey’s love child!”

Stacey: Lol.  That is pretty funny.  I like the one where you are carrying my love child.  Although I am trying to figure out exactly how that would work. 

This is the part of gossip blogging and rag mags that gets to me.  Its one thing to write things about her parents, its another to write mean things about her.  I think she looks cute.  And I am sure that Brad and Angie are great parents.  Just because she isn’t wearing a dress doesn’t make her a boy or mean that she wants to be a boy or that Angie is making her a boy.  And as much as I dislike Angie, why is it her fault?  Totally outrageous. 

More pics of Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie out in Italy, this time with the twins (Knox & Vivienne) who look like little Shiloh #1 and little Shiloh #2. The family is pretty low key so it’s rare to see so many photos of them but they are in the process of moving which makes things a little more difficult. Angelina Jolie & Johnny Depp will soon start shooting The Tourist (and not sleeping together) which will filmed in Italy so the Jolie-Pitts are settling down (kinda) in Italy while they film.

I totally thought Angie’s closet was just full of black everything. The white is a refreshing change

Stacey: Ok, little Know is so so cute.  While Shiloh is cute she isn’t my favorite Jolie-Pitt spawn.  I think Knox may be in the running.  Its refreshing to see them though.  I was starting to think the family hated them because they were always being left behind for family outings.

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Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt took Shiloh, Zhara, Maddox and Pax out for ice cream in Italy today.

Check out Shiloh’s monkey hat!!! Love it!

And is it just me or could Zahara pass as Angie’s biological daughter? They have the same face shape.

Stacey: Love the monkey hat!  So awesome!  And look at her pretty little face.  So cute!  And Angie WISHES Zahara was her biological daughter…Miss Z is too cool for school.

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(pics: Socialite Life, I’m Not Obsessed)

Here’s Brad Pitt and Maddox (who is in his New Orleans Saints jersey) headed to Miami to go watch the Superbowl. The Jolie-Pitts have a house in New Orleans so I guess that makes the Saints their home team.

Go Saints!

Update: Turns out Angie joined them too.

Stacey:Ahh yes, after all the break up rumors, they show up at the most watched television event of the year.  How convenient.  And now the Brangeloonies will be claiming that awesome and healing love of The Brange and Maddox helped the Saints to a Super Bowl Championship.

(pic: Just Jared & Socialite Life)

(Story: Celebitchy, Pic: aceshowbiz.com)

We so called this didn’t we?  How long did it take?  2 and a half months?

Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie signed on to do a movie called The Tourist which in it they apparently play lovers.

I love Star sometimes.  They are so brazen and outrageous.

My favorite part of the cover? “First she stole Brad from Jen, now its…Angie and Johnny!

Oh please.  I don’t buy this for one second.  Johnny would never do this to his partner and the mother of his children, Vanessa Paradis who is way cooler and way more suited to Johnny.

Not that I would put it past Angie either.  When she married Billy Bob Thornton he was still engaged to Laura Dern and we all know (and are sick to death) of the Brad/Jen situation.  DO you remember the from the Mr & Mrs Smith set about her not wearing underwear during sex scenes and what not with Brad?  Please.  She so would!

And not that I totally believe all the break up rumors that have been circulating but Angie seems fickle.  And Brad is starting to look old.  And Johnny is Johnny.  What woman wouldn’t want to be with him?  At any rate, it will be interesting to see where this one goes.  Could be fun!

Tanya: Alright. I really don’t think Angie would just up and leave Brad for a co-star. She’s got all those kids too. I think she’d probably do it the PR friendly way and break up the family FIRST before moving on with the costar. Something Brad didn’t do so well which is why we’re STILL talking about it. If Brad & Jen just called it off, and then Brad & Angie came out like 6 months later (after a few solo appearances at events) people would forgive and wouldn’t dwell on it.

Jay & B made a lot of money from June 2008 & June 2009, in fact they made more than any other celebrity couple. Here’s the top earners (from US Magazine):

1) Jay-Z and Beyonce Knowles – $122 million

2) Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart – $69 million

3) Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie -$55 million

4) Will Smith andJada Pinkett Smith – $48 million

5) David and Victoria Beckham - $46 million

6) Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi – $36 million

7) Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson - $35.5 million

8 ) Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy – $34 million

9) Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes - $33.5 million

10) Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow – $33 million

11) Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick – $29 million

12) Tim McGraw and Faith Hill – $28 million

13) Eva Longoria and Tony Parker – $22 million

14) Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelley – $20 million

15) Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban – $17 million

Beyonce & Jay-Z were top of the list last year also, but with a combined income of $162M. I believe they both toured and had albums this year (Jay’s tour might be after the June cut off though) which is probably why they’re WAY higher earners than the others on the list. Harrison Ford had the new Indiana Jones film come out and I think Calista Flockhart has a TV show?

Suddenly I feel very, very poor. We’ll never be able to affort yachts and Maybach’s on our salaries!!

Stacey: Right before I read this, I was reading some articles on CNN about the earthquake in Haiti and how millions of people are now homeless and hungry and have no place to go.  In perspective, it makes this whole list seem so shallow and silly.  Juxtaposition, you got me again.

But really, I wish I were as rich as J and B.  Then I could buy a house made of chocolate (odd thing to want, I know, but its a fantasy of mine really).

(Pic: babble.com)

So yesterday marked the 5 year anniversary that the Golden Couple, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, announced to the world that they were separating.  As sad as it sounds, that is one of those moments that I will remember where I was and how I felt when I heard it.  Why?  Because they seemed perfect.  And, in all honesty, Jenn wasn’t really Jenn to me, she was Rachel Green.  Sad, I know.  But if they couldn’t make it, how could anyone else?

At first it seemed all on the up and up.  BUt then rumors started swirling about why they broke up.  Jenn didn’t want babies, Brad had fallen for Angelina Jolie, blah blah blah.

For a few weeks afterwards there was speculation that Brad and Jenn would get back together.  They were spotted at parties together, they were seen leaving each other’s houses.

But then Brad was spotted with Angelina and Maddox in Kenya.  And the world assumed Angie, the girl with the magic vagina, had broken up the perfect marriage.  Its the perfect tabloid story line.  Like Archie and Betty and Veronica.  It was a gossip mongers wet dream.  And everyone and their dog had an opinion and had chosen sides.  Me, I was firmly planted with Team Aniston.  And I thought for sure Angie and Brad were just a quick fling and Brad would come to his senses and beg Jenn to take him back.

But within a year, Angie adopted Zahara and became pregnant with the couples first biological child, Shiloh.  Then Brad adopted Maddox and Zahara.  It seemed that they were for real.  5 years later, they still seem to be going strong.

So the big question is, to this day, what really happened between the three of them.  Did Brad actually cheat?  Did Jenn bust Angie and him together?  Did their break up even have anything to do with Angie?  We will never know.  But still five years later a week doesn’t go by with out something coming out about the love triangle.

Honestly, if I had the opportunity to find out the truth behind one thing in history it wouldn’t be anything like who actually shot JFK or what happened to Amelia Earhart or how the Egyptians built the pyramids.  Nope.  I would want to know the truth behind the Brad/Jenn/Angelina story.

And in my heart of hearts, I still secretly hope that Brad and Jenn will get back together one day.

Tanya: I also clearly remember when Brad & Jen split. I was on a cruise with my grandma and we got two TV channels in our room; CNN and a movie channel that kept rerunning some Jessica Alba movie about a girl who is lost at sea (not a good movie to show people on a boat). The big tsunami that hit Indonesia was the only thing CNN covered 24/7 for the first day, then it was 6 straight days of Brad & Jen coverage on CNN. Did nothing else happen in the world that week? It seemed pretty sad to me that we cared that much.

And we still care that much. Just check out the weekly tabloids at the supermarket. 5 years later and we still can’t let it go.

Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie donated $100,000 as a Christmas gift to the American SOS Children’s Villages.

Angie: “We have seen first-hand the remarkable job SOS does to raise orphaned and abandoned children and keep families together. No one ‘ages out’ of an SOS Village: vocational training, advanced education, living assistance and moral support are there forever.”

Brad: “In this holiday season, many of us take for granted that we are surrounded by loving family members. The poor outcomes for foster children indicate that we must do a much better job of supporting them.”

Stacey: This photo cracks me up.  It looks like someone is peering out from behind Brad.

(Pic: larryfire.file.com)

So it turns out that Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp are going to be in a movie together called The Tourist that is reported to be quite steamy.  I can almost hear the rumors now.

Johnny and Angie Start Elicit Affiar

Johnny and Angie Caught Off Set Kissing

Angie In Love With Johnny Depp

“Its Over! I’m With Johnny Now!” Declares Angie to Brad

I know that I am a bad person for being excited for this, but I am.  Angie has a thing for guys (and girls) that she works with.  She married Johnny Lee Miller after they worked on Hackers together, she dated Jenny Shimizu after working with her in Foxfire, she married Billy Bob Thorton after Pushing Tin (whom, by the way, was engaged to Laura Dern at the time that they started their affair), and lets not forget Brad Pitt, her current squeeze, who left his wife Jennifer Aniston after personally requesting Angie for the role in Mr & Mrs. Smith (allegedly).

But our Johnny wouldn’t do that, would he?

I don’t think he would.  But lets hope he can withstand the allure of Angie’s hypnotic, man eating vagina.  Because lets be honest, she soooo would.

Tanya: “Johnny’s Ultimatum: It’s me or the kids!”

“Angelina’s Living a Double Life”

“2 Lovers, 6 Kids, No Time to Eat. A Frail Angelina drops to 36lbs”

“Brad Turns to Jen for Support”

“Vanessa Paradis Turn to Jen for Support”

“Johnny & Angie Get Tattoos of Each Other’s Name in French – But will Brad & Vanessa Find Out?”

“Angelina Seduces Director to Cast Johnny Depp” (ok, this one might already be on the stands)

Sorry for getting carried away there, it’s just TOOO much fun!

(Pic: Just Jared, Rolling Stone)

Happy 1000th Post I Smell Smutters!

I can’t beleive that we have already posted 1000 times!  That is amazing!  Thank you so much to all our faithful readers.

And to Tanya.  I could think of no one better to gossip, giggle, and judge with than you!

And what better way to celebrate our 1000th post than with a hot, shirtless picture of Taylor Lautner?  Officially, Taylor is our most blogged about celeb.  Lets be honest, pictures like this are what have gotten him there.  Here are our Top 5 most blogged about celebs:

1. Taylor Lautner: 52 posts (seems like more right?)

2. Robert Pattinson: 40 posts

3. Lindsay Lohan: 35 posts

4. Kristen Stewart: 32 posts

5. Angelina Jolie: 27 posts

Maybe we should just rename our blog I Smell Twilight.com?  Might be more appropriate

Tanya: YAY US!!! 1000 sounds like a lot but it’s soooo much fun doing this that it feels like less. And Stacey, I couldn’t imaging doing this with anyone else Or even alone. One person blogs must be so booooring.

And a HUGE thanks to all the readers!!! We love you and we know you love us because we see it in our website stats

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