I Smell Smut » Ashlee Simpson

I Take It Back

Tanya — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 17:27:11 +0000

Yesterday I said that Ashlee Simpson looks like she’s trying to channel Renee Zelweger & Michelle Williams, but I take that back. I’ve decided that the person she’s really trying to look like is Sam Ronson.

(pic: JustJared)

Ashlee Simpson Files for Divorce

Tanya — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 18:00:42 +0000

I didn’t see this coming, but that’s probably because I don’t care about these two at all. Are they on my least favourite celebrity coupleslist? No? Then I don’t have to update it. Yay! Less work for me!

Anyway, Ashlee Simpson is citing irreconcilable differences (which I think really means “Pete let himself go and is no longer flat ironing his hair to look good for her”) and is asking for primary custody of Bronx. I know nothing of their relationship except that Pete Wentz is always out with Bronx and Ashlee looks like she’s trying to become some sort of Renee Zellweger/Michelle Williams crossover so I’d give the custody to Pete. Sure he might just be using his son for positive press, but I’m a sucker for father-son time.

Stacey: According to Lainey, there have been infidelity rumors surrounding these two for a while. Allegedly, he is unfaithful when on the road. Duh. Like I said, I could never ever be married to a musician or athlete. Ever. And this is just supporting evidence as to why.

(pics: I’m Not Obsessed & Socialite Life)

Ashlee Simpson Acts Inappropriately

Tanya — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 23:59:37 +0000

aPete Wentz is full of bad decisionsbut even he knows that dancing in the bleachers is not appropriate for the US Open. Imagine embarrassing Pete Wentz. Ouch.

Stacey: This girl is just a busted mess. Whats up with her greasy nasty hair? Couldn’t she shower before heading out? Ick!

(pic: Dlisted)

What The?

Stacey — Sun, 02 May 2010 13:54:44 +0000

(Pic: Just Jared)

Not to be rude or anything but what kind of G.D. outfits are those? Do they know they aren’t in the 1920′s? Especially Pete. I mean, did he suddenly start taking his styling cues from Goofy? I know he likes to be “alternative” but this is a little out there.

Ashlee is not terrible. But she has just changed her appearance so much from plastic surgery that I can barley recognize her anymore. And she has the worst posture. Stand up straight, girl!

Tanya: If they put these outfits together properly I’d be all for them. Pete’s is alright but Ashlee looks so frumpy! This dress looks like it was bought for $2 at Stitches. It fits her terribly. If she cinched the waist to give her a little shape and then fixed her posture so she had some shoulders and boobs it might work for her.

But instead these two look absolutely ridiculous.

Ashlee Simpson’s Chin

Tanya — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 03:08:11 +0000

I’ve always enjoyed the rumors that Ashlee Simpson has a chin implant (really, who wants a large prominent chin?) so it makes me sad to say that it’s probably natural as she has passed it on to little Bronx Mowgli.

Stacey: It unfortunate the Ashlee gave into the pressure and had plastic surgery. She was pretty before and unique looking and recognizable. Now when I see pictures of her I am not really sure who I am looking at and need to see the caption for a positive i.d. She blends in with the rest of her peers and because her singing and acting aren’t making her stand out, she kind of blends into the background.

(pic: The Superficial)

You Would Know

Stacey — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 00:06:58 +0000

(Pic: cdn.buzznet.com)

So Jessica Simpson appears to be a bit peeved after Melrose Place fired her little sis, Ashlee. Ashlee was hired earlier this year to star in the remake of the famous show but was let go last week, apparently because she sucked (ummm, duh).

But Jessica, ever the classy bitch, has taken the high road and tweeted this over the weekend:

“CW catching up on MP.who writes this crap? i have had bad scripts to work with,but this? thank God my sister is amazing and got you some press.”

Hmmm, bitter much? And really, who would know better about what crap is than Jess?

Ummm, hello Pot? Yes, this is the kettle calling…

Tanya: Piift. Ashlee’s role was only a temporary role anyway so she wasn’t really “fired”, more like she “completed her contract”. And dissing your sister’s employer on Twitter = Lame. Good think Ashlee doesn’t do that to Jess… oh wait… Jess doesn’t get any rolls in the first place…

Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz Smell Fishy

Tanya — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 21:04:22 +0000

Looking great... except for the socks...

Their relationship has always seemed a bit off but thankfully they’ve gone out in public to kiss which lets us know what everything is OK.

I want to write about how this whole marriage is a sham because Wentz is clearly batting for the other team. The only reason they’re kissing is because he likes the shade of lipstick Ashlee is wearing and she wouldn’t let him wear it out (“if I kiss her, then I can wear some too…”).

But then I saw the socks. No self-respecting gay man would wear white tube socks with an all black ensemble.

So, Pete Wentz: Not gay? or Gay with no self-respect?

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

Stacey: While I think there is a possibility that Pete bats for the other team, I totally buy him and the lesser Simpson. I don’t know why, but I do. Although, he has a serious case of the TMIs…Too much Information. There have been multiple times where I read what he has said and think to myself “Does he hear himself speak?”. If my husband shared some of the info about me that Pete has shared about Ashlee, I would kick him right in the crotch. Let ye be warned…

More pics after the jump…

Photo credit: JustJared & Getty