This kid knows what’s up.

Stacey: This is the face I make in my head whenever I see Lady Gaga.

(pic: The Superficial)

They drag me back in.

Stacey & I have been talking and we both kinda miss the blog… so we’re back in the game. Thanks for being patient. We just needed some time. So grab a martini and a cigarette (or a coffee and a mini-chocolate bar ’cause you’re in the afternoon slump at work) and let’s get back at it!

Better or worse than an actual photo of the Biebs?

First things first. The Justin Bieber paternity suit. Teen boy humping everything and facing the consequences or just a girl trying to cash in. My bet is on the girl trying to cash in, get some interviews and maybe her own 15 minutes of fame.

Also: we know that you’re getting all kinds of security warnings when you visit the site. This is just Firefox mean-girling us and spreading rumors. We practice safe smut and are not hosting any malicious content nor are we trying to infect you with anything. Hopefully we’ll have this fixed shortly.

Stacey: If they keep mean-girling us, I will spread all kinds of nasty rumors about them.  Thats right, I will fight fire with fire.

Sorry to play with your heart strings, peeps.  It was a heavy month last month, and a crazy few months prior to that.  I think we just needed some time away from celeb gossip to un-jade ourselves.  Because to be honest, I was feeling a little angry at all things celeb related.  Even pictures of cute celeb babies were giving me a case of the eye rolls.  But I think we can get back into it.

As far as the Bieb goes.  I was kinda hopin’ that he knocked this girl up.  Just because it would be great for gossip.  To bad she seems like she is a nutter butter. 

(pic: nogoodforme.com)

Sorry for the back-to-back Harper posts but I couldn’t resist. How cute is Romeo Beckham as he gets to hold Harper? Answer: too cute.

Stacey: Look at the big smile!  He totally loves his little sis.  That girl is going to be s-p-o-i-l-e-d.  And I love how Mommy Posh looks like she is giving him the “be careful with her! Make sure you are holder her head!” warning that all mommies give.  She looks amazing too.

(pics: Socialite Life)

I am so excited for this! Beyonce showed off her bump at the MTV Video Awards and effectively announced that she and Jay Z are expecting a baby!!

This is going to be the coolest kid ever. I can’t wait to watch them grow up (wait, does that sound incredibly creepy..?).

Stacey: On second read it does sound a little creepy, Tan.

I know you are excited about this but for me it is just another celeb pregnancy.  And maybe it is just me but I thought it was a little tacky how she revealed it.  For people who are normally so private about their personal lives I felt the reveal was a little…exploitive?  Maybe its just me.

But I am happy for them.

(pic: Celebuzz)

I didn’t mention this the other day because quite frankly the idea of Trace Cyrus reproducing and becoming a parent scares the living daylights out if me. But it’s true. Trace Cyrus and his girlfriend (I’m not even looking her name up) are going to have a baby which will make Billy Ray Cyrus a grandpa and Miley Cyrus an auntie.

So why am I posting about this now? Well, I took a look at our analytics this morning and instead of the usual 30 searches a day we get for “Trace Cyrus” (seriously people?), we saw an increase in demand over the last 2 days of over 3 THOUSAND people doing searches for “Trace Cyrus”. So here you go. Tracey Cyrus (<- typo. It stays) is going to be a dad.

Stacey: This is what is wrong with the world.  Skeevy douches with tattoos on their faces and their dad’s face tattooed on their masturbating hand are raising children.

(pic: The Superficial)

Jennifer Garner & Emo Ben are expecting baby #3. There’s been speculation on Jenn’s belly for awhile but we’ve mostly stayed out of it until we got official confirmation. Which we now have.

Think they’ll have a little emo boy like daddy or another ridiculously adorable little girl?

Stacey: YAY!  I am doing jumpy claps right now,  I LOVE when these two have kids.  They are hands down the cutest kids in Hollywood.  Plus, I get a new baby brother or sister.  Woot!

(pic: Celebuzz)

(Pic: Backseatcuddler.com)

People Magazine is reporting that Hilary Duff and Mike Comrie are expecting their first child together.

Really?  Well, she must be freshly preggo because earlier this week this Danskin ad was released featuring a very flat tummied Hilary.

Well, I guess this is a good time for Hil to have a baby because Mike can be at home to help with the newborn since he is taking time off this season to get healthy (translation: no team would sign him because he is a big sack of crap).

Congrats to the couple.  Hilary’s transformation into hockey WAG is nearly complete.

Tanya: Wow. Hil has a crazy stomach. Too bad it’s about to be destroyed FOREVER.

Too dramatic? In all reality it won’t be destroyed forever. It’ll just take a lot of work to get it back. Since she’s a Hockey Wife she won’t have to work and will probably have a nanny so she should have enough time to hit the gym if she wants that back.

Victoria & David Beckham had their baby girl over the weekend. She weighed in at 7lbs 10oz and they named her Harper Seven.

I *really* like the name Harper. It’s one of the names I had picked out for our daughter but my husband kiboshed it rather quickly with “we’re not naming her after Stephen Harper”. I hadn’t even considered the PM when picking the name (I was thinking Harper Lee, and also that it’s just a super cool name) but he had a point. And when I was watching the morning news this morning and they covered the story that’s the first thing the news anchor said too.

And Seven is pretty cool too. I wonder what it stands for? Maybe she’s lucky number seven?

Stacey: I love the name Harper.  But I love it because the author of one of my favorite books is Harper Lee.  And when I think Harper Lee, I think Boo Radley.  And when I think Boo Radley I think Scout Finch which makes me think of Atticus Finch.  Love!

So ya.  Harper Seven.  I like it.

(pic: JustJared)

Natalie Portman gave birth to a baby boy almost a month ago and today she announced her son’s name: Alef.

Alef is the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet. It has been said that the letter represents the “oneness of God” and is related to the element of Air.

Eh.

Stacey: I don’t really care for it. But that pretty much sums up my feelings on anything Natalie Portman related.

(pic: Socialite Life)

Ewan McGregor and his wife Eve have adopted a 4 month old baby girl which brings them to a total of 4 daughters aged 15, 9, 9, and 4 months (the latter two are both adopted).

Cool! I think adoption is the bees knees. Congrats to Ewan, Eve & the girls!

Stacey: If they pick up two more they will almost be as crazy as the Jolie-Pitts.  4 kids is a lot of work.  A LOT of work.  Heck, one kid would be a lot of work.  I guess when you have nothing but money and time, having kids doesn’t seem so scary.