We give Christina Aguilera a hard time here because she is a bit of a mess right now but I’m on the fence with how she was looking at the AMAs last night… is this better or worse than usual? She had been doing pretty good lately but this is honestly what I would look like in this dress and I know I need to hit the gym. And wear different underwear so I don’t get the cut lines in my hips. And you already know how I feel about her hair.

Wait… I’m supposed to be being nicer, aren’t I? Whoops.

Stacey: No.  This is not better.  Look.  My issue is not her weight.  Its that she is wearing something that is, like, 3 times too small for her.  I like her legs though.  They look good.  That is the only redeeming quality though.

(pic: The Superficial)

(Pic: The Superficial)

You know.  I will own up to the fact that we participate in an industry that makes up a lot of sh*t.  Imaginary affairs, imaginary fights, imaginary feuds.  But one thing I will never be able to get behind is making up a rumor that someone is beating their kids based solely on the circumstantial evidence that the kid has a black eye.

Christina Aguilera’s son, Max, was photographed this week with a black eye.  So of course the tabloids had to start saying that she beat her kid.  Was it that slow of a news week that people needed to start making up such ridiculous crap?

Unfortunately, Christina’s rep had to issue a statement saying that her son hurt himself chasing squirrels.

I have a news flash for everyone…kids fall, kids get hurt.  I remember when I was about 8 years old my friends and I were playing hide and go seek and I was running and tripped and fell and smashed my face into a door knob.  I had a big, black eye just like Max’s.

Christina may be a lot of things but I am pretty sure she doesn’t beat her kid.  And people should be ashamed for even insinuating that she could have been the cause of that injury.

Tanya: Yes, it was a slow news week. But wouldn’t it be juicy if that WAS the truth? Incredibly terrible, but also incredibly smutty.

(Pic: Daily Mail)

Recently on Fashion Police, Kelly Osborne took out the kitty claws and took a mean swipe at Christina Aguilera.  While we maybe have been not as nice to X-tina here, but Kelly took mean-ness to a whole level.

Joan Rovers compared Christina to Snooki, saying she looked like her Scandinavian cousin.  Then Kelly shot back with this:

‘Maybe she’s just becoming the fat b***h she was always born to be. I don’t know. She was a c*** to me.

She called me fat for so many f**king years, so you know what? F**k you, you’re fat too!’

Wow, Kelly.  Really?  As a former fatty perhaps she should have some compassion for someone going through the same struggles as what she experienced.  And really, people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.  Because what if she doesn’t stay skinny forever?  Than what?

Besides, if this is about revenge and getting back at Christina does she think that showing her that after all these years, Christina still bothers her and is under her skin is revenge?  Ummmm no .  All she is doing is showing X-tina that she has had free rent in Kelly’s head.  If I were Christina, I wouldn’t give two sh*ts what Kelly says.

The above picture is the outfit they were criticizing.  I actually don’t think its that bad.

Tanya: Kelly Osbourne should not be calling people fat bitches. Why is it always the former fatties that are the harshest on the new fatties? Ricky Gervais caught a lot of crap for doing that not too far back as well.

(Pic: Celebitchy)

Guess who?  Lady Gaga or Christina Aguilera?

Its Lady Gaga but who is stealing who’s look here?  Is this a recycled X-tina look?  Or was X-tine stealing Gaga’s look to begin with?

Just so they both know and we are clear moving forward, looking like a busted tranny isn’t a good look for anyone.

I would just once, once like to see Lady Gaga dressed like a normal person, in just a pair of jeans that fit her properly and a t-shirt with hardly any makeup and regular hair.  I bet she would look amazing.  Anything is better than this right?

Tanya: Lady Gaga is actually pretty homely. Not saying she wouldn’t look better, just saying that you shouldn’t get your hopes too high for this one.

(Pic: Celebitchy)

Whoa.  When was this photo taken?  Or how much photoshop was done to make Christina Aguilera look like this.  Because the last time I saw her, well, she looked more like blond Snooki.

Look.  I am not picking on her size.  Not at all.  In fact, I wish she would embrace it rather try to pretend that isn’t who she is by photoshopping half of herself out of a picture.  She is a normal sized girl and shouldn’t be ashamed of it.

Tanya: I honestly thought this was Lady Gaga.

What guys find hot this year

Maxim was getting a little desperate this year to find 100 hot ladies. While some of the ladies really are hot (Katy Perry, Mila Kunis, Bar Rafaeli), many of them are just “meh” (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Olivia Munn, January Jones) and the majority are either “not so hot anymore” or “have never been hot” (Cameron Diaz, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Paz de la Huerta, Miley Cyrus, Lindsay Lohan).

They should have really just saved face and did the “Maxium Hot 15″ this year.

Stacey: Paz?  Really?

This list kind of seems like there was a bunch of guys sitting around the table, having a hard time coming up with 100 hot chicks and then when a name was thrown at them, they asked “Does she have boobs?  If she does, she is on the list.”  Is that all it takes, guys?

(pic: Celebitchy)

(Pic: The Superficial)

Christina Aguilera?

Or blond Snooki?

Just sayin.

I’m not sure who that is more insulting for…Christina or Snooki.

Tanya: Ugh. It’s true. They are one in the same. Maybe both of them should go away for awhile.

Do you think making out with Christina Aguilera would turn your face weird colours? Between the thick red lipstick and the orange face paint I’d think her BF would look like he has rib sauce & grease all over his face after making out.

Stacey: Gawd.  I think kissing Christina Aguilera would be like making out with a slutty, drunk clown.  It would be sad and pathetic and afterwards you would be covered in facepaint and shame.

(pic: Socialite Life)

Despite getting arrested after getting smashed at Osteria Mazza not too long ago, Christina Aguilera and her boyfriend decided it’d be totally cool to go back to Osteria Mazza to get smashed again. This time they had a chauffeur take them home, but still. If I were them I’d be too embarrassed to go back there.

Stacey: This girl is a straight up mess right now.  Aside from the drinking, some one also needs to tell her to stop dying her hair glow in the dark white, painting her skin orange, and stop wearing that color of lipstick.

(pic: The Superficial)

Jordan Bratman & Max out for a walk on Tuesday, the day after Christina Aguilera got thrown in the drunk tank for being a mess.

The look of Max says it all: “Dad, when will mom stop acting a fool?”

Stacey: Its nice to see Max out with a parent.  Period.  I was starting to think maybe they gave him away since X-Tina is always out with her horrible boyfriend.  We used to see her with Max all the time.  Now we just see her falling down.

PS.  When I am really tired, I wish that someone would carry me on their shoulders.

(pic: CelebrityBabyScoop)