(Pics: Just Jared, dlisted, Socialite Life, I’m Not Obsessed)

Well, last night was the Met Gala and what that means is that everyone and their dogs were attending wearing their bold and/or beautiful best.  Since the pictures are giving me a big, fat, case of the yawnies, rather than posting a million posts about each individual dress, I just decided to pick a couple high lights and low lights.

Highlights?  I love Christina Ricci’s dress; I think she looks amazing.  And I know you guys don’t like Maggie Gyllenhaal but I do so I included her.  And I loved Emma Stone’s dress and Michelle Williams too.  And Sofia Vergara because, wek

Lowlights?  Brooklyn Decker is straight up offending me with her brightly colored, flat dress.  Seriously, this color is horrible and makes her look like she has zero shape.  And Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen.  Need I say more?

Tanya: I agree with you on all except Christina Ricci – her dress accentuates her tiny waist a little too much and makes her body look incredibly weird.

Some others I’ve come across and wanted to add: Beyonce’s dress was so tight she had to be carried up the stairs, Kate Hudson decided to accentuate her ass to make her baby bump look smaller (?), Miranda Kerr wins the “Stripper Wedding Gown” award this year (there’s a dress that fits this category every year), Mary Kate Olson in her Mrs Clause dress and Demi Moore wearing the outfit that she probably wore to watch the Royal Wedding because she wasn’t invited.

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(Pic: Just Jared)

I know we give Demi Moore a lot of crap here.  Because, well, she is married to a man-child, she can’t dance, and she has been acting a little like a 14 year old.

But let’s put all that aside for a minute, shall we?

Look at this picture.  LOOK!  This woman is 49.  Yes you read that correctly.  49!  She looks amaaaazing.  And not “she looks amazing for 49″.  She looks amazing.  Period.  She must have sold her soul to Lucifer or something because looking this good cannot be natural.  I mean, all of it probably isn’t natural but still.  You have to have some good genes to still look amazing after a little nip tuck at this age and not look like this.

Tanya: I can’t help but roll my eyes every time I see Demi Moore. Bitch is perfect. And not all cosmetically altered to have a smooth forehead, full lips and huge tits like we see in a lot of LA women. I have no doubt that she’s had some work done, but my God, that surgeon should get some sort of medal.

(Pic: Celebitchy)

Surprisingly, this post is not about how Demi Moore is still with Ashton Kutcher even though everyone thinks that he cheated on her.

No.  This post is about the fact that I cannot stand it when famous people go out without their clothes being properly hemmed.

I can maybe understand it from Lindsay Lohan because, well, she’s a busted mess.  But not from Demi Moore.

Seriously.  How rich are these people?  There is no excuse for them to go out to a red carpet looking like this.  Its unacceptable.

Tanya: That is a nasty ass dress to begin with and it looks like it was probably super long too. It looks like it was bought at WalMart. Cutting it off might have been an improvement (aside from the fact that it looks like a raggedy mess) but it’s still an ass dress.

And what’s up with Ashton? He looks like he just got in trouble for picking on a kid in band class.

(Pics: Huffington Post)

Ok.  Instead of playing our least favorite game, lets play our most favorite game…photo assumption!

In case you haven’t heard, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher have been the subject of much speculation in the tabloids lately.  Apparently, in three straight Star Magazine issues, they are accusing Ashton of cheating with some ho that allegedly has text messages to “prove” the affair.  And the vultures are circling pretty hard core on this one.  And you know, where there’s smoke, there’s fire.  Apparently, Demi doesn’t want to leave Ashton.  Because he keeps her young and has made her relevant again.  And he cheated because, well Demi’s old and can’t dance.  Ok, that’s why I think he cheated.  But please keep in mind this is all alleged.

And, a part of me thinks its true.  It may explain Demi’s recent bizarre behavior.  And it feels an awful lot like the Josh Duhamel/Fergie affair where they denied it and said they were going to sue and then didn’t and then just stayed together.

Anyways back to the game.  Look at these pictures.  Based on the above information doesn’t it seem forced?  Doesn’t it look like the are trying to prove something?  This united front.  Doesn’t it seem contrived.  And doesn’t Demi look desperate?  Like a desperate little girl clinging to the last of a love that may have run its course?  For her sake, if this is true, I hope she kicks him to the curb because she looks ridiculous.

And for the record, if this is all lies why don’t they sue Star like they said they would?

Tanya: Awkward! This is the most uncomfortable photo ever. She’s clingy and he’s so over it.

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Demi Moore is the same age as my mother. Seeing a woman my mom’s age taking photos of herself in the mirror to post on the internet makes me sad. It’s like when you see 14 yr olds showing off their newly sprouted boobs on MySpace or Facebook. Yes you have a cute body, but your not an appropriate age to be doing this.

Stacey: What is up with Demi right now?  Is she going through a mid life crisis or something?  First there was this, then the dancing and now these inappropriate pictures?  Ashton, get control of your woman, yo!

It must be hard for Demi because really, her body is the only thing that keeps her remotely relevant.  I mean, what was the last movie she did?  But she is starting to remind me of those Real House Wives of where ever which is sad.

(pic: Socialite Life)

While Demi Moore may be insanely hot and defying all laws of aging/gravity, I am going to have to ask her to not dance.  Ever.  Because when she dances, she looks like this:

That is just groan inducing.  Why is she even on stage with Snoop Dogg?  And why is she trying to hoochie dance?  Snoop can hire all the hos in the world, why is Demi doing this?  Because instead of coming across as hip and cool she is coming across as uncool and busted.  She may look good doing it, but girl needs to work on her moves before she gets on stage and busts it out.  But that’s just my opinion.

Tanya: Embarrassing!! Even though she’s hot, she should NOT be doing this. It’s like having a house party and your mom getting up on the table and grinding to some Young Jeezy. GROSS!

(Pic: TMZ)

Sweet.  I love when celebs are caught being a drunk mess.  Not because its fun to make fun of them, but because it often shows candid moments of letting themselves go and not being constantly concerned with if the paparazzi is going to catch them doing something they shouldn’t be.  Its a rare moment of letting their guard down, which I am sure are few and far between.

These pictures make me happy for Demi Moore.  Let it all hang out, chicky!  Woohoo!  I love the picture of Ashton having taken the beer away from her like “Ok, sweetie, you’ve had just about enough of that”.  I have soooo been there.

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Here’s Demi Moore headed into the studio to film Late Night with David Letterman and all I can say is “Dayum!”. I LOVE this dress. The colour, the pattern, everything. And it probably helps that it’s on Demi Moore’s tight little body.

Her tight little body kinda creeps me out though. It’s abnormal for people her age to still have a body like that.

Stacey: Yup, she looks great.  But we could all look that good if our job was to look good.  I mean, all she probably does all day is sleep in, go to the gym, do some yoga, go to the spa, relax with her hubby that’s half her age, have someone do her hair, makeup, and put together her wardrobe. I am sure she does some actual work here and there but you get my drift.

And she also must have some good doctors genetics

(pic: The Superficial)

I’ve been staring at this photo of Madonna and Demi Moore for the last 10 minutes and I can’t look away. I’m not sure if its because of their eyes, cheek bones or “warm embrace” but it’s creepy. Seriously. Take a moment to really look at it and tell me you don’t feel a little hollow inside.

Can Madonna suck out my youth through the monitor? :’(

Stacey: I feel oddly drawn to yet repulsed by this picture.  Honestly, Demi scares me more.

All the celebs were out to promote Valentine’s Daylast night and most of them are looking super hot. Most of them except Bradley Cooper who must have thought his stubble was thick enough that no one would notice if he stopped the bronzer just into his facial hair line. The only other explanation I have for this is that maybe it’s a tan line from a bandanna he was wearing over his mouth while he was out robbing trains old school style. Also on the topic of Bradley Cooper, he totally reminds me of Robin Williams in the photo below.

Stacey: What is UP with Jessica Biel’s dress?  Is she aware it is a movie premier and not a casting call for The Little Mermaid?  Or some weird bird enthusiast party.  Its just too much.  Ick.  I love Jennifer Garner’s dress though. Looks great on her!  Not so hot on Anne Hathaway’s though.  It’s the color.  Just for the record, peeps, my love affair with Taylor Lautner is officially.  No thanks to Lainey.  She ruined him forever for me.  Really.

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(pics: Socialite Life)