(Pic: Rumor Fix)

Look  I love my mom.  A lot.  We hang out and chat on the phone and confide things in one another.

But, I do not love my mom the same way Lindsay Lohan loves her mom Dina.

Look at these two.  Rather than looking like mother and daughter they look like two aging lipstick lesbians, one drink away from a night of experimentation they both will regret in the morning.

Seriously, this is…inappropriate.  Look how Dina’s fingers are entwined in her hair.  I hope they don’t think this is sexy…because it is gross.

Do you know who I feel worse for?  Lindsay’s younger brother sitting beside them.  Do you think he is embarrassed by them or is so used to them acting like train wrecks that he doesn’t even notice anymore?

Tanya: *throws up on self*

This is all kinds of wrong. Wrong because moms & daughters should not be physically intimate like that. Wrong because Dina is like the worst mom ever. Wrong because both ladies are probably thinking “this will get us in the mags!”. Wrong because that’s totally true. Wrong because the brother is there. That’s wrong also because I’m fairly sure he’s a minor and this is in a bar. I could go on but I don’t think I need to.

Actually, Dina Lohan doesn’t give a crap about Lindsay Lohan’s healing and wants the Betty Ford clinic to defy their standard policies and their court ordered conditions with Lindsay to let her come home to New York for Thanksgiving.

With the Thanksgiving holiday just two days away Lindsay Lohan’s mom is still hoping that she will be able to spend the holiday with her daughter in their home state of New York, she tells RadarOnline.com exclusively.

“I am still trying to get her to New York to be with us for Thanksgiving,” Dina told RadarOnline.com.

Although Lindsay wanted to join her family back east, it looks as if she is stuck in California for Thanksgiving this year, RadarOnline.com has learned.

“The judge has not given her permission to leave the state, in fact, she can’t get permission until after January 3rd,” said our source.

But even with the judges orders in place, Dina has not given up trying to be with her daughter and longs to spend time with her.

“I would love to have her with me during the holidays,” Dina told RadarOnline.com.

But a friend of the star feels that staying in Los Angeles might just be the best thing for his close pal.

“She’s been doing really well in rehab, and it’s just better that she doesn’t travel while’s she’s still working on getting better.”

Meanwhile, the Betty Ford Center will be serving a buffet-style Thanksgiving dinner. The cafeteria staff will prepare turkey, ham, stuffing and all the holiday trimmings.

During dinner there will be a “Gratitude Celebration” where family members and staff take the opportunity to praise each patient and congratulate them for maintaining a sober and drug free life.

Summary: Like most patients, Lindsay Lohan has to stay in rehab over Thanksgiving. Patients families are welcome to come share the holiday at the Betty Ford clinic where there will be a celebration to help boost the morale of the patients for working so hard. However, Dina doesn’t want to spend Thanksgiving at the Betty Ford because they won’t let her get her drank on so she’s insisting Lindsay come home where the rest of the family can indulge in their vices without the unfair treatment of the Betty Ford staff. Dina: “hey, just ’cause Lindsay’s going dry doesn’t mean I have to”

My guess is that Lindsay will probably spend the holiday alone which would be a huge bummer for someone who could probably really use the support of their family right now. If I was in her spot and my family came to spend Thanksgiving with me I’d be really touched. It’d show that they love me unconditionally and that we can all make sacrifices to get through this together. So, I’m hoping that is what ends up happening.

Stacey: TMZ  is reporting this morning that Lindsay got the go-ahead to spend Thanksgiving away from Betty Ford.  In California.  With her dad. 

Oh snap.

You know its bad when the Judge would rather Lindsay spend time with her dad than Dina.  To be fair, it probably has more to do with travel time, but still.  Dina was making a big fuss about trying to get Lindsay out to spend turkey day with her and Michael is the one they gave the ok to?  Yikes! 

If their daughter’s well being was truly what each of them were concerned about, they would put their differences aside and Dina should be at Micahel’s too.

(story: radar online, pic: The Superficial)

(Pic: TMZ)

Here are the Lohan siblings, Lindsay, Ali, and Cody, celebrating mommy, Dina Lohan’s birthday.

Look at the females in this picture.  Look really close.  Because one is 47, one is 23, and one is 16.  Odd isn’t it?  That all of them look the exact same age.  All of them could pass for sisters rather than mother and daughter and sisters.  The only one who looks his age is Cody.  Poor boy doesn’t even have a fighting chance does he?

Tanya: Nothing makes Dina Lohan’s day more than having her kids in TMZ, so I guess this is just about the best birthday gift ever.

(Pic: poponthepop.com)

You know, my mom was hard on me growing up.  Don’t get me wrong, I had an amazing childhood and am  grateful every day for the upbringing that my parents gave me.  But when I stepped out of line, my parents came down hard on my, mostly my mom, and because of that, I never found myself in any real trouble because I learned the lesson of consequence early in my life.

You don’t need to look farther than Lindsay Lohan’s mom, Dina, to understand why her child is so messed up.  She had this to say to Radar.com:

She doesn’t have cell phone privileges, that’s absurd. She doesn’t even have a pillow to sleep on,” … “I talk to her through glass. There’s a phone and we put her on speaker but I can’t even hug my daughter. She’s treated like a common criminal.”

Ummm, Dina, Lindsay IS a common criminal. Remember those laws she wasn’t able to follow?  Well, jail is the place they put people like Lindsay who can’t follow the laws laid out.  Why should she be allowed a cell phone in jail?  Why should she be allowed any special privileges at all?  Oh right, because being famous is so hard.

The point of jail is to take away your privileges so you hopefully learn a lesson and don’t commit those crimes again.  If people could just do what ever they wanted, when they wanted to without the threat of consequences, we would live in a world of complete anarchy.  Or utopia.  But that’s another conversation all together.

I think I actually hate this family.

Tanya: The Lohans blow my mind. Why would Lindsay be allowed a cell phone? Why would she be allowed to have contact with visitors? Because she’s famous and should have special treatment? Urgh.

Puh-lease. We all know that Dina Lohan doesn’t really “get” it and here’s the most recent case in point:

Ali Lohan has a Carvel “Black Card” which gives her free ice cream for life from Carvel. Sweet, hey? Well Dina took Ali’s card to go buy a cake for her son Cody’s birthday and the clerk ID’d her, denied her the cake because the card wasn’t hers and then the cops were called (including a helicopter?) because Dina threw a fit about it.

Dina’s comments:

“The shop assistant said, ‘Do you have I.D.?’” Dina said.

“Next minute he he grabbed my arm and took my card and held it hostage and wouldn’t give me the cake!

“This guy was crazy!”

“I couldn’t believe this guy… it’s a family card, it just didn’t have my name on it.

“Next minute, four cop cars showed up, there’s a police helicopter over head and this guy makes it seem to the cops that I’m trying to use a stolen credit card — and for what? Over a free ice cream?!”

“It just shows how we get treated so much worse than regular people.”

Bitch please. You get free ice cream for life. You know what regular people get? A $25 bill for that ice cream cake. You know what else regular people get? A fraud charge for using someone elses’ card.

Update: Carvel says “No more ice cream for you!”

As part of Carvel’s 75th Anniversary celebration last year, we issued 75 Black Cards to celebrities. These cards were issued in the celebrity’s name and require the card holder to be present at the time of use. Many celebrities have enjoyed their cards at our Carvel Ice Cream shoppes and have shared their excitement with being included in the celebration.

Unfortunately, the Lohan family has been abusing the card. While the card was issued in Lindsay and Ali’s names only, her extended family has repeatedly used the card without either present. At first, we graciously honored their requests while explaining that the Black Card was not a carte blanche for unlimited Carvel Ice Cream for the extended Lohan family and friends. After more than six months of numerous and large orders for ice cream, we finally had to cut off the card and take it back.

Dina Lohan reacted badly and called the police to have her card returned. The police responded and did return the card to Dina with instructions not to use it again.
This is an unfortunate situation where certain people feel entitled to use a celebrity’s name for their own purposes. We regret that the Lohan family is upset and hope this matter is put behind us quickly.

Stacey: Oh snap!  Bitch got shut down!  Good for Carvel for not bending to this ho.  We will never need to know where Lindsay got her entitled attitude.  It was passed down from one generation to the next.

PS.  My favorite part of this story is where she called us “Regular” people.  Regular.  You hear that everyone?  We are regular! 

(pic: Matters.com)

(Pic: Just Jared)

So as you all already know, Miss Lindsay “I’ve been set up” Lohan was due to appear in court this morning.  And rather than dressing like a respectable young woman, she decided to show up looking like her top might bust open at any time.  Classy.  But to be honest, I am actually kind of surprised she is wearing that much clothing.

Lindsay won’t be doing any time (yet) but the judge, who wasn’t putting up with any BS, set forth these guidelines (from TMZ) for Lindz to follow if she wants to stay out of jail:

• Lindsay must begin wearing the SCRAM bracelet within 24 hours.
• Lindsay must also attend all scheduled alcohol ed classes at least once a week.
• Must submit to random drug testing
• Must stay in the LA area.

Anyways, this court date was only to decide if Lindsay could remain out on bail.  The actual court hearing to see if La Lohan was in violation of her parole will be on July 6th.

Who wants to start taking bets on when she will fail a drug test of trip the SCRAM bracelet?

In other Lindsay Jail news, her crazy, enabbling mom Dina gave an interview this weekend where she said Lindsay’s team actually told her to stay at Cannes to avoid being arrested.  I will let that statement speak for itself.  WTF?  She then said “Just pray hard for us and her. And just lighten up. Get Off her back. Leave us alone.” Yes, people.  Lets all prey for the needy and downtrodden Lindsay Lohan. Prey hard.

Phys Ed class?

Mama Lohan says:

“[Ali Lohan] is home schooled, … I’m a firm believer in staying in school but, in the business, it’s gotten difficult for Ali to be in school.”

While the fact that Ali is out partying, vacationing, shopping and grand opening with Lindsay means that she’s not home and therefore not schooling is important, it’s also important to look at why she’s being home schooled.

Because of “the business” says Dina. Hmmm, the business. What business is Ali in?

Acting? A quick IMDB search shows me that she was in a movie and a reality show last year, but nothing this year. Being in a movie last year might require some time off, but the reality show shouldn’t. School = reality.

Modelling? Well, she did that one shoot in NYC with Jonathan Ressler last year. Does that count? No. One photo shoot last year isn’t much of a reason for leaving school this year either.

Singing? Oh right. Her “album” which was the main focus of the reality TV show has never been released.

Maybe they mean Lindsay’s business. Well, she’s not getting much work right now and she’s an adult that would presumably want the best for her sister (an education, perhaps). Can’t be that either.

Maybe Dina’s business? What has Dina been up to lately? Managing Lindsay? Nope. Pimping kids to Disney? Probably. Where’s young Cody been? Is Dina busy prepping Cody for the big times? Ahhhhhh, solved it. Dina is busy getting young Dakota ready (tanning, fake teeth, peck implants, highlights, etc) for his turn. Ali is a big girl now. Too good for school, those nobodies would only bring her down anyway. All that stupid math? You have a manager for that. Social Studies? Who needs history when you are the future.

You’re on your own now Ali.  Ready to be free from Mama Bird’s wing and take flight into the limelight. Good luck.

Serious?

Remember back when you were 15 and you and your mom used to hit the club to party together, pick up boys and probably do some lines in the bathroom?

No?

Well, then your mom hasn’t learnt anything from pimpmom of the year Dina Lohan. According to Dlisted, who is sourcing US Weekly, who are citing the Scoop, which shows how reliable this story might be, momma Lohan threw a fit when the bouncer wouldn’t let Ali into Villa because she’s too young. Ali is 15.

I’m not a mom. I know shit about parenting. But I do know that a good bonding experience between you, your underage daughter and your “recovering” alcoholic daughter probably shouldn’t include going to the bar.

How did Lindsay pick up that bad little habit in the first place (not talking about the coke here, just the alcohol)? Going to the bar at a young age and becoming an alcoholic may not be related (except for the fact that they are), and surely the things you learn from your parents can’t influence you that much (except that they do).

Just sayin’

Stacey: Oh my gosh! Who is the 35 year old woman with Dina Lohan?  I’m not a parent either but aren’t mothers supposed to have some sort of ability to instinctively protect their children and NOT feed them to the wolves?  No?  Just a rumor?

Dina Lohan and her unfortunate children are perfect examples of just because you CAN procreate, doesn’t mean you SHOULD. 

Dina: "If you show more cleavage I'll boost your cut to 12%"