(Pic: thedailyfix.com)

Apparently, The Unmentionable and her boy toy, Doug Reinhardt have broken up.  And the world wept.

Recently, ever the eloquent young lady, Paris had this to say about the break up:

I am like so past that — I don’t even care!

I don’t even remember that time in my life.  I am over it.

You don’t remember your life two minutes ago?  Of course you don’t.

Asked about the single life?

I love it! I am having so much fun. A lot of guys have obviously hit on me and I am getting thousands of calls, but I’m not ready to be with anyone.

Thousands?  I am pretty sure that is a gross over exaggeration.

Doug doesn’t appear to be sad either as he was seen making out with another chick, like, minutes after the break up.  He should be happy as he was able to escape the grasps of that horrible pariah.

My only question is will he share his secret of how he got Paris to break up with him, because I want her to break up with being a celebrity.  The world would be better off.

Tanya: Paris will never break up with being a celebrity. It’s in her nature. Like Miss Gwyneth Paltrow. Raised in the public eye I think you just get used to it. Suri & Harlow will probably be the same way & get the sads when they aren’t photographed out shopping.

I know we promised to never speak of her again, but I loved this story so much that I just needed to share it.  So The Unmentionable, lets call her Ebola, ala Lainey Gossip, has been dating some reality star douche for the last several months.  Apparently, they get into a huge fight, as seen in this video at TMZ , and broke up.  No surprises there.  The Ebola chews them up and spits them out on a monthly basis.  But the plot thickens when not even a day later Paris was seen cavorting with soccer god and uber Euro Cheese Cristiano Ronaldo, who has the potential to be hot, but is covered in oily, greasy douchiness. (Seriously, are those silver lemay shorts?  And are those legs waxed?)

Allegedly, they were at the same club and he couldn’t take his eye off her all night.  I would have thought it would be because she dances like a moron, but apparently he found something about her sexy (?!?!?).  When he finally went up to her, they couldn’t keep their hands off each other and TMZ has pictures of her showing him her lady bits (classy).  Apparently, he liked it because later that night they went back to sister Nicky’s house for further debauchery.

And with the wound of the break up still still pussing and blistering, Paris decided to rub some salt in it when her friend had this to say:

“Paris is stoked to be with a real athlete – unlike her ex, who is a low-paid minor league baseball player”

Ouch.

To which her ex’s rep retorted:

“Doug refuses to take part of this ridiculous media circus. He wishes Paris and all of her future boyfriends the best of luck.”

Am I a bad person for loving that these two are playing out their high school drama bull crap in the media for all to see?  And they have decided to involve probably the worlds second most famous soccer player?

I am excited to see where this goes next.  Will her dreaded Ebola Virus spell doom for Ronaldo’s career?  Will she get back together with her ex only to break up again months later?  Will she drop off the face of the planet never to be heard from again?  Will Ronaldo get himself a real celebrity rather than some low-class, fame whore?  Stay tuned…

Tanya: This girl really knows how to keep the spotlight on full beam. And is the epitome of class. Not sure about Ronaldo… I hear he’s a hit with the ladies but he comes across as a ‘mo to me. Is it just me?

As voted by you, here are the Top 5 Worst Celebrity Couples.

If we can't cash in on our celebrity, we'll cash in on yours!

1. Tori Spelling & Dean McDermott
2. Heidi & Spencer
3. Ashton Kutcher & Demi Moore
4. Paris Hilton & Doug Reinhardt
5. Tie: Brangelina and Ice-T & Coco

Ouch. Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie on the same level of awfulness as Ice-T & Coco. Probably because we’re so bombarded with them all the time (Jen & Ben back together, Angie pregnant again, Angie has affair, Brad has affair, Jen & Angie talk adoption, blah, blah, blah, blah). They keep a low profile too. Imagine if they put in 1/100th of the time and effort our top 4 awful celebrity couples do to be photographed and named in the tabloids. *shudder*

Stacey: Well done I Smell Smut-ers.  I think that this is a pretty good (or bad) list.  I am especially happy that Brangelina made it in there.  But why all the hate on Coco?  Seriously.  How can you hate this woman? 

(Pic: awesternheart.blogspot.com)

You’ve voted for the Top 5 Celebrity Couples, now it’s time for vote for the worst!

"Wifey got ass"

Picking the worst couple is so much more fun than picking the best. Some people are just TOO much. We picked our least fave celebrity couples, but there are so many more to choose from (the Wentz’s, Richie & Madden, Jessica Simpson & Tony Romo, etc).

Our top choices make up the poll options below, and you can always leave a comment with the couples you think are the worst. That counts as a vote too.

Pick 5!

Which celebrity couple is THE worst? (Pick your least fave 5)

• Ashton Kutcher & Demi Moore (50%)
• Heidi & Spencer (60%)
• Brangalina (40%)
• Tom & Katie (30%)
• Tori Spelling & Dean McDermott (70%)
• Jessica Biel & Justin Timberlake (20%)
• Ice-T & Coco (40%)
• J-Lo & Marc Anthony (10%)
• Paris Hilton & Doug Reinhardt (50%)
• Other (say who it is in the comments!) (10%)

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Tags: angelina jolie, Ashton Kutcher, brad pitt, Coco, Dean McDermott, demi moore, Doug Reinhardt, Heidi & Spencer, Ice-T, jennifer lopez, jessica biel, Justin Timberlake, Katie Holmes, marc anthony, Paris Hilton, tom cruise, Tori Spelling

So Tanya suggested we compair our Top and Bottom 5 Celeb couples, since we seem to vary so greatly in who we love or hate…Tanya, I look forward to your list.

Stacey Top 5:

1. Posh and Becks

2. Reese and Jake

3. Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard

4. Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady

5. Gavin and Gwen

Tanya Top 5:

1. Beyonce & Jay-Z
2. Justin Timberlake & Jessica Biel
3. Gwen & Gavin
4. Ryan Reynolds & Scarlett Johansson
5. Will Smith & Jada Pinkett

Stacey Bottom 5:

1. Brangelina

2. Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore

3. Tom and Katie

4. Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake

5. J-Lo and Marc Anthony

Tanya Bottom 5:

1. Heidi & Spencer
2. Ashton Kutcher & Demi Moore
3. Tori Spelling & Dean McDermott
4. Ice-T & Coco
5. Paris Hilton & Doug Reinhardt (sorry for even mentioning her but these two are gross)

Tanya: I’m glad you have Brady & Bundchen on your list I love them. They, Afleck & Garner, David Duchovny & Tea Leoni, and Seal & Heidi Klum were close cuts for my top 5. Celebrity couples are quick to change, they may make it in the top 5 still.

Can’t believe Brad and Angie made your bottom 5!! Is it because you don’t like them or don’t like how they came to be (the broken marriage thing)?.

Stacey: No Tanya!  Not Coco!  I love her!  Maybe not Ice-T but Coco is amazing!

And Spencer and Heidi and Paris and her flavor of the month were originally in my Bottom 5 but I refuse to acknowledge them as celebrities. 

And I hate Brad and Ang as a couple and as individuals.  Their holier than thoughness bugs the crap out of me.