(Pics: Just Jared, dlisted, Socialite Life, I’m Not Obsessed)

Well, last night was the Met Gala and what that means is that everyone and their dogs were attending wearing their bold and/or beautiful best.  Since the pictures are giving me a big, fat, case of the yawnies, rather than posting a million posts about each individual dress, I just decided to pick a couple high lights and low lights.

Highlights?  I love Christina Ricci’s dress; I think she looks amazing.  And I know you guys don’t like Maggie Gyllenhaal but I do so I included her.  And I loved Emma Stone’s dress and Michelle Williams too.  And Sofia Vergara because, wek

Lowlights?  Brooklyn Decker is straight up offending me with her brightly colored, flat dress.  Seriously, this color is horrible and makes her look like she has zero shape.  And Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen.  Need I say more?

Tanya: I agree with you on all except Christina Ricci – her dress accentuates her tiny waist a little too much and makes her body look incredibly weird.

Some others I’ve come across and wanted to add: Beyonce’s dress was so tight she had to be carried up the stairs, Kate Hudson decided to accentuate her ass to make her baby bump look smaller (?), Miranda Kerr wins the “Stripper Wedding Gown” award this year (there’s a dress that fits this category every year), Mary Kate Olson in her Mrs Clause dress and Demi Moore wearing the outfit that she probably wore to watch the Royal Wedding because she wasn’t invited.

[Show as slideshow]

[View with PicLens]

(Pic: gambling911.com)

You may or may not have noticed our new and improved “About” page but let me draw your attention to it here.  On it you can find little tidbits about Tanya and I…such things as “Celeb BFFs” and “Celeb couple we want to double date with”.

You may be wondering why I have included Gisele Bundchen in the group of celebs that make me face punching angry.  Well, aside from her “pregnant women think its ok to be garbage disposals” and “breastfeeding should be a law” and “Tom, grow your hair like Justin Beiber”  statements, it’s also saying that sun block is poison.

Umm, clearly she doesn’t know any red heads or fair skinned people which applies to both myself and Tanya.  While sun block may be “poison” going in the sun without sun block will cause us to burn, blister, and peel,so badly that we could potentially get skin cancer.

So while Gisele, whom I am assuming must be some kind of expert on the matter, like all matters, may not use sun block, I am going to go ahead and continue putting that “poison” on my skin.  Because when chosing between the two, I will take poison over cancer any day of the week.

See.  So.  Angry. Face Punch!

Remember when we used to love Gisele?

Tanya: It is definitely true that many sunblocks have poisonous and carcinogenic chemicals that are dangerous to our bodies (read here if you’re interested). However, it is also true that not wearing sunblock greatly increases your risk of skin cancer, especially if you are prone to burning like we fair notherners are. There are happy mediums though – buy sunblock that is pthalate and paraben free and is made by a company that has a reputation for being both ethically and environmentally responsible. Or you can wear long sleeves, pants and large hats if you have to venture out into the sun which I don’t see Gisele doing.

Gisele… I want to like her. I really do. But it’s making these absolute statements that just kills it. Maybe she is just having troubles with words like “should”, “most” or “I think it is a good idea to” instead of “all”, “everyone” or “should be law” because English is not her first language. No, she’s just wise and all knowing *eye roll*. I think Gisele Bundchen and Gwyneth Paltrow should be friends. They probably have opposite, but extremely strong, views on a lot of things (especially motherhood) and I’d like to see them throw down. I don’t think they’d be able to keep their composure for too long.

This is amusing. Some magazine (I think it was OK! but I grabbed this list from I’m Not Obsessed) did a poll on who the most and least desirable celebrity spouses are and this is what they came up with:

Least Desirable Celebrity Husband:

1: Charlie Sheen
2: Mel Gibson
3: Tom Cruise
4: Mickey Rourke
5: Pete Doherty
6: Marilyn Manson
7: David Hasselhoff
8: Ricky Gervais
9: Chris Moyles
10: Wayne Rooney

Least Desirable Celebrity Wife:

1: Amy Winehouse
2: Lindsay Lohan
3: Britney Spears
4: Heather Mills
5: Gwyneth Paltrow
6: Katie Holmes
7: Lady Gaga
8: Madonna
9: Nicole Kidman
10: Sarah Jessica Parker

Most Desirable Celebrity Wife:

1: Natalie Portman
2: Megan Fox
3: Katy Perry
4: Kate Moss
5: Gisele Bundchen
6: Cheryl Cole
7: Christina Hendricks
8: Rihanna
9: Kim Kardashian
10: Kate Middleton

Most Desirable Celebrity Husband:

1: Prince Harry
2: Justin Bieber
3: Robert Pattinson
4: David Beckham
5: Russell Brand
6: Colin Firth
7: Prince William
8: George Clooney
9: Piers Morgan
10: Brad Pitt

I agree with most of the “Least Desirable” spouses list but the “Most Desirable” ones are a bit off. Kate Moss & Gisele Bundchen?? Kate Moss is about as desirable and Pete Doherty and Gisele Bundchen sounds like she takes away your balls once she gets the ring.  As for the men, well, we see the problems right off the bat: Prince Harry and Justin Bieber. Bieber’s balls haven’t dropped yet and Prince Harry would probably be one of those “you’re probably going to see something in the tabloids that looks really bad, but it totally isn’t what it looks like” kinda guys. He’d be fun to date, but I’d say not a desirable husband.

Stacey: Clearly this poll came from somewhere overseas and was filled out by Brits and 12 year olds.  Because people like Kate Moss and Cheryl Cole would not even hit the radar over here.  Ok, Russell Brand over Brad Pitt?  That just doesn’t seem right.

First Gisele Bundchen won’t let Tom Brady cut his hair and now she’s insisting that he get hair transplants to cover where it’s thinning:

Gisele Bundchen doesn’t want her hunky NFL star husband Tom Brady to be thrown for a hair loss! She sent her QB to a top hair transplant specialist to deal with his thinning crown, the Enquirer has learned.

Brady – who was recently mocked by Justin Bieber for copying his trademark hair – showed up alone at Leonard Hair Transplant Associates in Cranston, RI, on November 9, where he saw Dr. Robert Leonard.

“Tom wants help with his thinning hair and bald spot,” a source told the Enquirer. “Tom parked his SUV at the rear of the building. He spent over an hour consulting with Dr. Leonard before he slipped out the back door and drove off.”

Tom, perhaps in an effort to compensate for his thinning dome, has grown his hair long this season. But sources insist it is Gisele who is behind his move to consider a hair transplant.

“She wants to maintain that perfect-couple image – the handsome quarterback with a full head of hair and the stunning model with her own long, flowing locks,” added another insider. “She pushed him to see the hair specialist.” (from the National Enquirer)

HAHAHAHAH! I would totally believe this is Tom Brady had thinning hair, but his hair is fine. This probably isn’t happening yet. In a few years, yeah, probably.

And guys, growing your hair out to cover where it’s thinning never works. It just makes it look thinner. If you don’t believe me just look at pics of John Travolta and Brandon Fraiser and you’ll see what I mean.

Stacey: Is it just me or is anyone else starting to think that TB is kind of a wiener.  The media isn’t portraying him in a very flattering way.  Lately its been he is a balding, Beiber loving, pussy whipped mamby pamby.  When did he fall out of favor?

(pic: Fanhouse)

HAHAHAHA. Love it. Gisele Bundchen and Benjamin Brady at the beach and it looks like Ben decided to take the “swimsuit optional” approach.

I wonder if we’ll get some sort of interview about the dangers of babies in swimsuits from Gisele? I’m cool with the idea of babies not wearing swimsuits at the beach (although that probably increases the levels of sand that they’ll get in everything) but if you know that there are going to be photographers around wouldn’t you want to cover it up? I wouldn’t want strangers taking naked photos of my kids.

Just sayin’.

Stacey: How about the fact that these photos of her son will be around forever and ever, wouldn’t she want to cover him up so they can’t be used to torment him when he grows up and goes to school?  Do you remember when you were a kid and your mom would have photos out of you in the bath tub or something, and as a teenager how incredibly embarrassing that was?  At least you could hide those pictures somewhere in your house.  Not Ben.  Poor Ben has no way of hiding these.

(pic: People)

(Pic: Just Jared)

I am warning you in advance before you go any further; what you are about to read is going to come off as mean, bitchy, angry and bitter.

Proceed with caution….

I hate Gisele and her stupid mask.

See.  I told you.

Tanya: Gisele’s stupid mask > Tyra’s fishnet face

Weird, I just had a total de ja vu.

(Pics: Just Jared)

You know, I used to love Gisele.  But lately, I am so not into her.  Maybe its that fact that she is a smug bitch about child birth being painless because she  ” transformed that intense feeling into a hope of seeing him”.  Maybe its the fact that she believes it should be law for every mother breast feed for at least 6 months.  Or maybe that she looked like this two seconds after she gave birth.  Or maybe that she has Tom Brady, one of the most attractive human beings on the planet, so pussy whipped that willing to look like Justin Beiber/lesbian on a consistant basis.

What ever it is, coupled with her perfect ass, I am officially over Gisele.  Sorry, peeps, I know you love her but I think she thinks she’s better than we are.  I know that she probably is but I like my celebrities to be sans conceited smugness.

Tanya, this may effect our favorite couples lists.

Tanya: Yeah, I’m with you on this one. I used to love Tom & Gis, but she’s been a bit too much lately and he looks terrible with that hair. Shaggy is ok, but this Beiber look is straight up dykie (no offense to dykes, most of you pull off the Beiber much better than Tom Brady.

Gisele Bundchen & Benjamin Brady playing with hand puppets and hanging out in a park in NYC. How cute are these two? See the photo where Gis is letting Benjamin play with her sunglasses? All the kids I’ve ever let play with my sunglasses have proceeded to snap them in half. Sure Benjamin is under a year old, but he is the son of Tom Brady so either these sunglasses are going to get broken or Tom Brady’s son is a pussy.

Gisele is totally humping the blanket.

Stacey: You know what?  While I totally think baby Benjamin is super cute, I am totally over Gisele.  I could do with out her.  We need more pics of Ben and Tom together. 

[Show as slideshow]

[View with PicLens]

Stacey,

We might not look like Camila Alves & Gisele Bundchen when we’re at the gym, but we’re still the hottest b*tches on the block.

xoxoxo,

Tanya

Stacey: Its true.  We do rock. And we are totally the hottest bitches at the gym.  Remember the lady last night in the yellow wool dress?  *shudder* 

Gisele Bundchen & Benjamin Brady (4 months)

To our moms, and to all our readers who are moms, Happy Mother’s Day!! <3

Stacey: Mom’s are the best! 

(pic: People)