(Pic: Just Jared)

You know…we aren’t really big fans of Halle Berry here.

But hot damn this bitch is sexy.  She is just so amazing to look at…no matter how much we dislike her.

Tanya: Ugh. I just can’t stand her anymore.

OK, so maybe Gerard Butler didn’t exactly call out Olivier Martinez specifically for having a small package but he did imply it when he told Halle Berry that all French men are a little little and that she should be with a Scottish man who is much more well endowed. We say she should dump her BF for someone who is less of a douche. From the Daily Mirror:

“Gerard began mucking around, bragging about Scotsmen and the size of their packages. He was joking that he could wear kilts and no undies because he was a ‘real man’, and that other Europeans wouldn’t be able to pull a kilt off.

“As the conversation continued, he got more lewd – and funny – but Olivier got less and less impressed. After one gag too many at his expense, he stood up and confronted Gerry.

“Olivier was red in the face and gesticulating wildly. So Halle told them both to lighten up.”

Halle Berry, Olivier Martinez and Gerard Butler are all rumoured to have some pretty crazy tempers and I could see this totally going down. Gerard egging on Olivier while he and Halle turn red in the face and steam starts to come out their ears (I imagine things like a Warner Bros cartoon sometimes). I can also imagine Halle Berry yelling at Gerard Butler, scratching his face and pulling his hair because she’s so angry, while Olivier cries in a corner over the remarks.

I’d also like to say that I love how the article points out that Gerard Butler got “more lewd – and more funny”.

Stacey: Ugh.  There is something about this entire story that makes me feel dirty…and not in a good way.

(pic: WordPress)

Halle Berry is not one of our most favourite people here (I don’t think either of us even ‘kind of’ like her at the moment) and here’s more reason to avoid being around her: she’ll make you look like crap if you pose with her.

Amy Adams is pretty cute. But next to Halle Berry she looks frumpy, unstyled and kinda homely. And (this is total opinion on my part) Halle’s bitch-face adds a little bit of “why do I have to pose with this girl?” that makes it even worse.

Halle Berry does the same thing to Melissa Leo below.

Her BFs skeeziness has rubbed all over her. I can barely stand this woman anymore and I don’t even know her.

Stacey: I think everyone under the sun would look frumpy next to Halle.  We should hate her for it.

(pic: Socialite Life)

(Pic: Just Jared)

Nahla Aubry.  Baby of Halle Berry and Gabrial Aubry.  Apparently, an issue at the center of this ugly custody battle is that Gab insists that Nahla is white.  This according to TMZ.  And this apparently pisses Halle off, causing her to claim that Gab is racist.  Interesting.

Now an expert from Ebony Magazine has Halle saying that she feels that Nahla is black:

“I feel like she’s black. I’m black and I’m her mother and I believe in the one-drop theory. I’m not going to put a label on it. I had to decide for myself and that’s what she’s going to have to decide – how she identifies herself in the world. And I think, largely, that will be based on how the world identifies her. That’s how I identified myself. But I feel like she’s black.”

I had to do some reading to figure out what this “one-drop theory” is.  You can read about it here.  Essentially it was created and used during segregation so that any mixed family would not be considered “white” and was to deter interracial relationships.  Walter Plecker, who helped write the legislature to support this “theory” actually believed that white people were superior to black people.

I guess I am confused as to why Halle would buy into this theory if it was written with the intention of differentiating between the races and to insinuate that one is better than the other.  I cannot presume to understand Halle’s experiences and why she feels the way she does.  But aren’t we supposed to be breaking down the barriers and not trying to differentiate between races?

I would think that if this were me, I would want Nahla to embrace all sides of who she is and not force her to chose what she wants to be recognized as.  She is going to have a tough enough time with her parents fighting over her without her having to worry about this as well.  And what if she choses to be recognized as someone of mixed ethnisity, which she is?

Just a question though.  Why is Gabriel racist for saying she is white (which she partly is) and Halle isn’t racist for saying she is black (which she also is)?

Wow.  They are literally fighting over everything.

Tanya: Nahla is 25% black and 75% white. So even if Halle believes in the “one drop theory” (which I totally agree with you Stacey is totally from a racist context and not something I’d personally be pushing to support) which would make her baby black, her baby is still also white. And Nahla is going to have a huge complex if fighting over her race continues. Why can’t they accept that she be both??

Why can’t Halle just say “yes she is African American, but she is also French Canadian” and let Nahla embrace both cultures? Fried chicken and poutine go really awesome together.

So Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubrey split up awhile ago, started out playing nice, then things started to get nasty. Halle called him a deadbeat, then there was rumours that she hired a PI to follow him around and spy on him, then Gabe’s camp came out with some stuff about her being crazy and having some anger control issues, then he filed for custody and “legal recognition” that he is Nahla’s father and now Halle is taking it another step further and requesting sole custody of Nahla and saying that Gabe is pretty much unfit to be a father.

Here’s the latest statement:

“Halle has serious concerns for her daughter’s well-being while in the care of her father for any extended period of time and is prepared to take all necessary steps to protect her,” the actress’s rep tells PEOPLE.
To clear her schedule for custody litigation, Berry, 44, pulled out of the film New Year’s Eve, set to start filming this week in New York. She’s being replaced by Katherine Heigl.
“She has attempted to resolve these custody issues amicably with her daughter’s father, Gabriel Aubry, directly, but given his lack of cooperation, Halle has no choice but to seek swift judicial intervention,” her rep says.

Something about this seems super fishy. Like she’s going to marry that douchy guy she’s dating and wants him to legally adopt Nahla but can’t because Gabriel Aubrey still has legal parental rights or something. It’s good to see that Gabriel is fighting for his daughter when so many dads don’t – but that could be off too. Maybe he’s just doing it for the Halle money? Who knows.

The one thing I do know is that pulling out of New Year’s Eve is no sacrifice. It’s like Valentine’s Day 2and if you’re being replaced by Katherine Heigl it’s probably a pretty insignificant part anyway.

Stacey: Ya, something about this just doesn’t seem right.  And, IMO, I think it’s that Halle is just being a vindictive bitch.  I’m sorry, but “serious concerns” for her well being makes it sound like Gab is beating Nahla or leaving her unsupervised for extended periods or letting her play with knives or letting her smoke.  To me, unless someone is some abusive, neglectful, irresponsible asshole, there is no reason that a father should be kept from either parent.  And doing so, solely to be spiteful (which this seems like) will do far more damage to the child than allowing her to be with that parent.

I know we don’t really know what is going on but if we are picking sides…I am Team Gab all the way.

(pic: JustJared)

(Pic: Just Jared)

It had been so long since we had last seen Oliver Martinez and Halle Berry out together that I was kind of hoping that maybe they had broken up especially since she was flying solo at the Golden Globes.  I know it’s kind of mean to hope that a couple breaks up but you all know how I feel about these two.  In fact, when I saw this photo I gave a big, fat eye roll, accompanied by an “ugh” followed by a “pfffft”.  These two are hands down my least favorite celebrity couple.

FYI ISS readers, over the next few weeks Tanya and I will be working on some additions to the site, including but not limited to our ever changing list of most and least favorite celebrity couples.  They can be found on the new tab at the top of this page.  Make sure to check them often as our love and hate is very fickle.

Tanya: These two make me super uncomfortable. They’re so skeezy. I’ve also added them to my Least Favourite Celebrity Couples list because I get the feeling that there’s something weird going down with this two. Not sure what, but it just doesn’t seem right.

(Pics: Just Jared)

When did Nahla go from looking like a baby to looking like a little lady?  Seriously.  It seems like it happened over night.  This girl is so so beautiful.  I guess she got the best genes from both her parents, Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry.  Can you imagine what Nahla is going to look like all grown up?  She may become even more beautiful than her mother…if that is even possible.

BTW.  It seems like we haven’t seen Halle with Oliver Martinez for a while…maybe they broke up?  Hope hope, wish wish.

Another side note: When all these celeb babies are grown up I would love to see Nahla date Cruz Beckham.

Tanya: Can you believe she is still only 2? She looks like a 4 year old. And Cruz is 5 so he’d be about the right age for her when they get to dating age.

Did you know that Cruz Beckham has mad breakdancing skills?

Halle Berry on why she wanted to work on Frankie and Alice which is about a woman with multiple personality disorder:

(Pic: Just Jared)

Maybe instead of dating Oliver Martinez, Halle Berry should be dating Adrien Brody because clearly have the same affinity for wearing hideous outfits made out of tacky furnature.  In Halle’s case, it is curtains rather than an old leather chair.

And as ugly as this get-up is, only this bitch could make this outfit look so damn good.  It’s a shame we have to hate her because she is insanely hot.

For some added fun, this picture came up when I googled “ugly curtains”.  Warning: NSFW but really funny.

Tanya: LOL. Who notices the bad curtains in that picture?? As for Halle Berry’s outfit, I almost got something like this for my grade 12 grad (but it was white/lavendar) and it looked HOT. But it was also expensive so I had to go with something else.

(Pic: Celebitchy)

Eew.

My least favorite celebrity couple ever, Halle Berry and Oliver Martinez made their first red carpet appearance together this last weekend.

Really?

Already?

That’s a bold statement.

And it is making me kind of sad for her for some reason.  Like, she thinks she has this really awesome guy but really we are all judging her.  Because he is just so…smarmy.  In fact, so is she.  Smary.  That’s my new nick name for this couple.

Tanya: Smarmy is exactly the right word for this. And while you might be shocked that they’re already walking down the carpet, I figured they probably already had because I’m forced to see their smugness everywhere.

A few days ago you said it couldn’t be that I dislike Halle Berry, because I liked her with Gabriel Aubrey. I think it’s because of Gabriel Aubrey that I grew to like Halle Berry. He seemed to bring out a kinder, more maternal element of her instead of her usual smarminess. Oliver Martinez does the complete opposite.