I Smell Smut

’nuff said.

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(pics courtesy Socialite Life)

Michael Bay (director of Transformers, aka Hitler) took some time out from doing Hitler-y things to do a service to his country: direct a Victoria’s Secret commercial. If I am ever in a movie  I want to be filmed doing action scenes in my underwear like these ladies. After I hit the gym hard. Say what you will about Megan Fox being a dim bulb or a bad actress, Micheal Bay makes her (and these ladies) look HOT.

Stacey: It’s true.  Michael catches a lot of flack but he knows what men want to see; nearly naked chicks doing action sequences.

Just in time for Christmas! Instead of a chocolate count-down calendar, we have a count-down of the Hottest Men, one a day until Christmas. Could the holidays get any better?

Because we think “Best of” lists should have some sort of criteria to their rankings, we’ve rated the men on the following:

• Style & Wardrobe – a well dressed man is always hotter than a man dressed like a hobo
• Body – abs, butts, arms, etc. They’re all important.
• Face – because a hot body doesn’t always include a hot face, and vice versa
• Charisma – that special “it” factor
• Lust Factor – you know exactly what we mean with this one
• Sleaze factor – some guys have got all the looks, but their sleaze value is so high that it kinda kills the magic. Or if you’re Stacey, it makes it more magical.

By adding together the Style, Body, Face, Charisma & Lust factors and subtracting the Sleaze Factor we got our “Hot Score” for each of the men.

We also required that the men be celebrities (this is why our very handsome husbands aren’t on here, sorry guys) and that they be hot now. Men who were hot a few years ago aren’t always hot now. For example: Brad Pitt, Mark Wahlberg, Ben Affleck & Johnny Depp are all hot men, no question, but this year they’re all looking tired and raggedy and you’re more likely to find them covered in baby vomit and old dirty clothes than covered in some body oil showing off their abs. It’s a shame, but hopefully they’ll up the ante for next year. Gentlemen?

Since we don’t agree on much, our list only has 18 guys and some honourable mentions. If we really didn’t agree on someone they didn’t make the list and when they did make it we often ranked them so differently that this list is a little different than you’d probably expect. If you don’t like our rankings – let us know in the comments! If you do – you’re welcome

I had my family over for dinner and pulled out my laptop so my grandma could check out some Facebook photos of a new baby we have in the family (yeah, my grandma doesn’t have her own Facebook account yet, we’re working on it). But anyway, I fired up my Firefox and my homepage is I Smell Smut and she happened to catch a glimpse of our 1000th post and an “oh my!” escaped her lips.

After checking out Taylor Lautner’s abs for a few minutes my grandma is now Team Jacob all the way. Gram, this post’s for you. Stacey, you can now feel like less of a pervert because in comparison to my grandma, you and Taylor are practically the same age.

Stacey: Lol.  Taylor has that kind of effect on the ladies.  I would say he is very grandma friendly though.

BTW I get that everyone loves Edward, but Taylor has got it going on.  I know that I have said this before but Taylor > Rob any day of the week.

I’ve never really seen what the big deal is over Josh Duhamel. Maybe that’s because I’ve only seen him wearing a shirt.

Stacey: Josh has always done it for me.  Just something about him turns my crank.  And now that he is an alledged cheater, it kind of makes me want him more.  You know, there would be something wrong and dirty about it.  I am such a bad person.

(Pic: The Superficial)

We’ve seen Kellan Lutz working out at the gym, now we get to see the final effect of all that hard work. Here’s Kellan in a photo for August Magazine.

Nice work Kellan. Keep it comin’

Stacey: This picture makes me want to pour choclate syrup on his abs and like it off….

However, I could do with out the MC Hammer pants.

Tanya: He’s wearing pants? Whaddaya know. I didn’t even notice. The abs put me into a trance-like daze.

(Via: Socialite Life)

Taylor Lautner in GQ.

Yes, he’s still Jail Bait.

Stacey: Hey, why did you look at me when you said that?

FYI, Taylor will be 18 on February 11.  You know what made me feel really icky?  When I saw his birth year was 1992.

OK, Kellan Lutz is one hot man and photos of him working out are nice and all but this is a little intrusive. Photos of Kellan Lutz hitting the gym that have been taken from a closet or through the window of an adjacent building. I’m not going to post the rest but you can head over to Dlistedto see more closet photos of Kellan at the gym.

Stacey: Intrusive, yes, but he doesn’t seem to mind.  He’s looking right at the camera. 

Can you imagine being this person taking this picture though?  What is running through their mind?  What is their justification?

This is why I am glad I am not a celeb. No one is following me around taking my picture.

Charlize. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned before that I love her, but I do. I’d even say she’s a girl crush.

Here she is looking fantastic in an incredibly flattering outfit at the premiere of The Burning Plain.

Stacey: I do love Charlize too.  She is gorgeous and so talented.  My favorite part she has ever played was as Rita on Arrested Development.  Micheal starts dating her when his father tells him they are being followed by a British spy named Mr F, who turns out to be Rita, but Mr F is actually MRF which stands for Mentally Retarded Female…sounds bad, I know, but trust me, its funny stuff.

(Pic credit: JustJared)

We post a lot of hot abs and chests, but what about the ladies that love the chunk?

For them I bring K-(well)Fed at the pool.

Stacey: Oh my.

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