(Pics: The Superfical)

OK, not really, but its pretty darn close.  Here is Madonna and her boy toy, Jesus, making out and grossing us all out in the process.  I just don’t get it.  She used to be hot.  And only like  a year ago, too.  But suddenly she is like the Crypt Keeper.  And she is sucking Jesus’ life force from him.  And forcing us to watch.  And someone needs to tell her that it is not appropriate for someone her age to be wearing those clothes.  And what is with the gloves?  If she is going to wear gloves she could at least wear ones that cover up those hideous arms of hers.

Tanya: Well, I guess I don’t need to go to the gym today because I’ve just thrown up everything I’ve eaten in the last 5 days.

[Show as slideshow]

[View with PicLens]

Madonna & Jesus Luz were reported as being broken up last week, but the picture in the thumbnail below shows them leaving Rio together in a helicopter so who knows what’s going on?

The transformation of Madonna the Hulk (above) and Madonna the petite woman (below) is amazing. Maybe the Jesus Juice is her secret drug that keeps her from turning into a monster and terrorizing port cities.

(pics: I’m Not Obsessed)

Sometimes I call Jesus Luz “Madonna’s 4th Child” because of how young he is, but I forgot how young he actually is. Today is Luz’s 23rd birthday. *shudder* Imagine dating a 50yr old when you were 22. *BARF!*

Side note: Why do these people always get up and DJ at their birthday parties? I highly doubt any of them have any sort of practice or skill. Does the DJ in charge even let them touch the buttons? I wouldn’t. I’d be all “Here’s the deal. You get up in the booth, you can put on these headphones, and you can touch this one little dial. Don’t touch anything else. This is my equipment and I will mess you up if you touch anything else”. I suspect that celebrities DJ’ing is equivalent to picking out the next song you want to play in iTunes.

Stacey: When I was recently looking at buying a new guitar, one of the guys at the music store that was helping me was telling me that they sell turn tables two to one on guitars.  Back in the day, kids wanted to learn how to play guitar.  Now they want to spin.  Which is why you see everyone and their dogs behind the decks now.

And DJs are extremely anal about their stuff.  But I am sure being Madonna’s hired boyfriend has many perks.  And playing with anything you like is probably one of them.

(Pic: I’m Not Obsessed)

Madonna turned 51 yesterday and celebrated by making out with Jesus Luz in Italy.

Seeing them kiss is gross. I was really hoping he was just her handbag & baby holder who she was using to stay in the press. I imagine Madonna getting ready for sexy-times to look something like this.

Happy Birthday Madonna. You may terrify me, but you are still an icon and I respect your contribution to music.

Stacey: Mo, believe me, I love you, I worship you, but do you really think these pictures are convincing us that Jesus is not gay and that you aren’t paying him to be at your side?  My birthday wish for you is that you start to gracefully accept your age, because parading around your main mo like he is your BF is unflattering.  You are amazing at 51; enjoy it!  I only prey I am in half as good of shape as you are when I am 51.  Heck, I wish I were now!

(Source: RadarOnline)

Sleeping with Gran = Shame Face

Happy Easter!

Hope your Easter weekend is full of good food & fun times with family and friends. Take time to remember the lessons of 2 Jesus’ this weekend: Jesus Christ wants you to remember His sacrifice and that He rose again to save us, Jesus Luz wants you to remember that getting drunk and sleeping with your grandma is NOT cool, even if she can bench press you and your little brother with one arm.