(Pic: The Superficial)

The post title speaks for itself.

(Joy, if you’re reading this…I’m sorry)

Tanya: I think you should be apologising to me for posting this. I thought we had a “No Kardashian” rule around here??

And instead of “inserting” I’m imagining all the shit talk that’s coming out of this girls’ mouth. “Blah blah blah, watch my life on TV”.

(Pic: The Superficial)

Ugh.  I hate to do this but I have to.  And I know Joy is going to straight up yell at me because I am picking on her main girl, Kim Kardashian, again but I really can’t avoid this one.  I promised Joy I would try to be nicer towards Kim because, admittedly, I can be little mean to her.  But these pants.  And that angle.  I just….I can’t look because it is so awful.  It is just really really unflattering.  And Kim has a lot, A LOT of money.  She can afford to not be dressed in clothes so unflattering.  When your ass is as voluptuous as Kim’s and is also your, pardon the pun, biggest asset, you know what you can and cannot wear, what works and what doesn’t, what makes you look like you are wearing adult Depends and what doesn’t.  I guess this could be chalked up to bad angles.  It can also be chalked up to bad outfit.  She needs to burn those pants immediately.

Tanya: When I think of diapers I think of poo. Now, Kim Kardashian = Poo.

(Pic: Us Weekly)

Well he certainly has a type I guess.

Reggie Bush, who famously dated Kim Kardashian, is now apparently dating the girl from the Old Navy commercial who looks so much like Kim that everyone thought it was Kim in the commercial.  My hubby even thought it was her.  And when I told him it wasn’t her, he insisted that they must have picked this girl intentionally because she looked so much like Kim.

I wonder if Kim would be flattered; it could be considered a bit of an homage.  Or if she’s creeped out.

I wonder if Reggie sees the similarities?  It’s like that episode of Friends with Russ and Ross.

(Pic: modamob.com)

Ok.  I have a friggin’ bone to pick right now.

You know.  I didn’t say much when Kim Kardashian announced her engagement to her latest athlete boyfriend, Kris Humphries.  Then I found out how much her ring was worth (a reported 2 million dollars).  I was disgusted at their over indulgence and greed, quite frankly.

And over the last few weeks there have been some stories on Us Weekly and other such outlets taking about wedding registries.  Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo had one.  And Tony Romo and his bride to be had one.   And now Kim and Kris have one.  And if you read it, if you are anything like me, it will make you so angry you will want to punch yourself in the face.

On her registry?  A $375 candy jar.  A $7,500 Baccarat Cosmos extra large vase.  $150 napkin rings.

Really?  REALLY?

All of these people I mentioned make more money than they know what to do with.  And they want their friends and family to buy THEM more presents.  Why?  Because they can’t afford it themselves?  This makes me sick.  Why not ask your guests to donate to a charity on your behalf?  Or give gifts to the less fortunate?  You cannot tell me that these celebrities actually NEED these gifts, like they don’t have them already.  It is one thing for people who are starting their lives together and don’t make very much money to have a registry, but these people already get all the free things that they could possibly want on top of making fortunes for doing basically nothing.  I am aghast at the audacity of these people.  When there is so much poverty in this world and so many in need, these people are behaving like total and complete narcissistic, monkey hungry, greedy little brats.  Its not enough that Kim has a ring on her finger that, if sold, could feed a small country, she needs more?

While I hope her and Kris are very happy together, the level of greed they are showing is appalling.  They should be ashamed of themselves.

Tanya: I am totally, TOTALLY with you on this one. They do not need these things. No one needs these things. And when you are making boatloads of money and can afford to start your marriage with a home and it’s neccessities there is no need to ask your guests for gifts. Charitible donations are totally what they should do, but that’s not the Kardashian way.

BTW, what does it mean to be “monkey hungry”? They like a lot of bananas?

Stacey: Lol.  I stand by my original statement.

(Pic: Dlisted)

I have been resisting the urge to write anything about Kim Kardashian and her latest boy friend for hire fiance, because big fat who cares on her getting engaged, but Michael K over at Dlisted nearly killed me with his funny, yet accurate nickname/observation for Kris Humphries.  Personally I don’t think Kris is good looking but to each their own I suppose.  I mean, I think Kim could do better, looks wise, but who am I to judge?

I don’t know.  He just looks a little….off.

Michael K’s description: That he “looks like an F-list gay-for-pay porn star named Gaylor Lautner.”

LMFAO.  Totally.

So now we have months and months have having every minute detail about the wedding rammed down our throats until the big day that will surely be televised for us all to see.  Oh joy of joys.

Congrats to the happy couple though.

Tanya: Ugh. This feels totally contrived, just like everything the Kardashian’s do. Kim and Gaylor have been dating for like 6 months and he’s given her a 20.5 carat engagement ring. Sure, maybe after 6 months you know if they’re the one for you or not, but a 20.5 carat ring seems excessive, even if you have the money. The only reason people give rings like that is so they can show them off in gossip mags (IMO).

I don’t know what exactly it is about the Kardashian’s but I feel morally offended by them every time I hear about them.

One word: crap. I have been reading every gossip website today and there is just nothing good to write about. I’m sorry if you’ve been checking the site and are full of the yawns due to slow posting. So to spice up your day a bit here is a picture of 3 people I’d love to punch in the face and some other dude who gets two face punches just for hanging out with them.

If you don’t believe me about the gossip drought, here’s the days highlights:

• Gwyneth Paltrow did not get a record deal
• Jonah Hill lost weight
• Ja Rule is starting his jail sentence in June
• Lindsay Lohan is still not going to jail, neither is Mel Gibson

(pic: JustJared)

Imagine what a picture of the back of these ladies would look like.

Jennifer Lopez, Nicki Minaj and Kim Kardashian at the Grammy Awards.

Stacey: All this butt and yet my favorite butt, Coco, is not there.  Could you imagine all 4 of them?  And maybe throw in some Amber Rose and a little Beyonce?  It would be big butt heaven…where I want to go when I die.

(pic: Socialite Life)

Tanya, I know that we promised that we would never post about the Kardashians again as we are trying to stop the cycle of them constantly being in the media but I really couldn’t resist with this one.

So Kim Kardashian is at a Prince concert and Prince pulls her up on stage and tries to get her to dance with him.  And what does Kim do?  She stands there like she is too cool for school.

Well, I have news for her…she isn’t!

If Prince, PRINCE, pulls you up on stage, I don’t care who the hell you are or who afraid you are or how embarrassed you are, you dance like you have never danced before.  It’s Prince for gawd sake.  PRINCE!  If Prince wants you to dance, you dance!

I’m not going to lie…I’m judging her.

Tanya: Yes. There are few people who you should just blindly follow orders from, but Prince is one of them. And when Prince says dance, you dance! Even if you look like an idiot, you’ll look more like an idiot for not doing it (as evidenced here).

This is amusing. Some magazine (I think it was OK! but I grabbed this list from I’m Not Obsessed) did a poll on who the most and least desirable celebrity spouses are and this is what they came up with:

Least Desirable Celebrity Husband:

1: Charlie Sheen
2: Mel Gibson
3: Tom Cruise
4: Mickey Rourke
5: Pete Doherty
6: Marilyn Manson
7: David Hasselhoff
8: Ricky Gervais
9: Chris Moyles
10: Wayne Rooney

Least Desirable Celebrity Wife:

1: Amy Winehouse
2: Lindsay Lohan
3: Britney Spears
4: Heather Mills
5: Gwyneth Paltrow
6: Katie Holmes
7: Lady Gaga
8: Madonna
9: Nicole Kidman
10: Sarah Jessica Parker

Most Desirable Celebrity Wife:

1: Natalie Portman
2: Megan Fox
3: Katy Perry
4: Kate Moss
5: Gisele Bundchen
6: Cheryl Cole
7: Christina Hendricks
8: Rihanna
9: Kim Kardashian
10: Kate Middleton

Most Desirable Celebrity Husband:

1: Prince Harry
2: Justin Bieber
3: Robert Pattinson
4: David Beckham
5: Russell Brand
6: Colin Firth
7: Prince William
8: George Clooney
9: Piers Morgan
10: Brad Pitt

I agree with most of the “Least Desirable” spouses list but the “Most Desirable” ones are a bit off. Kate Moss & Gisele Bundchen?? Kate Moss is about as desirable and Pete Doherty and Gisele Bundchen sounds like she takes away your balls once she gets the ring.  As for the men, well, we see the problems right off the bat: Prince Harry and Justin Bieber. Bieber’s balls haven’t dropped yet and Prince Harry would probably be one of those “you’re probably going to see something in the tabloids that looks really bad, but it totally isn’t what it looks like” kinda guys. He’d be fun to date, but I’d say not a desirable husband.

Stacey: Clearly this poll came from somewhere overseas and was filled out by Brits and 12 year olds.  Because people like Kate Moss and Cheryl Cole would not even hit the radar over here.  Ok, Russell Brand over Brad Pitt?  That just doesn’t seem right.

Remember this?  Where Kim Kardashian’s lips looked like two plump pillows that you could nuzzle up on and have a nap?  Well, she claims the apparent puffiness isn’t from injections but because she was puffy from the flu.

“That’s not true. Trust me, I’ve tried Botox on the show,”…. “I’m the first one to talk about anything that I do. It really pisses me off that all of these plastic surgery rumors are always linked to me.”

“I have the flu. I’m puffy and swollen, and I have no make-up on. Why would I just do my bottom lip? My top lip was smaller and my bottom lip was huge and I’m thinking that would be the worst doctor on earth to do one lip and not the other. It’s definitely something that I would never do. I think my lips are big enough to my taste level.”

Bitch please.

I know when I get the flu, I look like I am all dried up and dehydrated not all puffy and bloated.  Look.  I don’t think every celeb (FYI, I almost wrote actress there and had to catch myself) should have to cop to every nip/tuck they get…but don’t straight up lie to us.  We aren’t that stupid.

And I know there are goingto be those out there who think it isn’t our business, which it really isn’t, but she makes it our business by shoving every moveshe makes down our throats.  Seriously, every time I turn around, there she or one of her sisters is, announcingto the world what they or their offspring/sisters/spouses are doing.  So please save your it’s-none-of-our-business-ing for people who truly want privacy.  Please.  Kim probably loved that people were talking about it; it means, people are still paying attention and that she would be able to issue a statement which would cause people to continue talking about it (exhibit A being this post).  Double whammy for her.  Gawd I hate it when I know I am perpetuating the cycle…

Tanya: When I get the flu I don’t get all puffy and swollen. I also get dehydrated and withered. My lips will dry out, crack and bleed and my nose is red and raw from blowing it. And if I’m really sick and throwing up a lot I look even less puffy in the lips. Maybe around the eyes, but not in the lips.

Although she is telling the truth that she is the first person to talk about what she does to herself. She probably releases press statements every time she goes to the salon, and if she doesn’t release a statement she’s still calling the paps to let them know when and where she’ll be available for a photo op. I’m sick of all these girls.