(Pics: Dlisted)

Apparently, all the souls that Madonna has been stealing so that she doesn’t age haven’t paid off, because bitch is aging like nobody’s business.  She looks TERRIBLE.

Do you know what the sad thing is?  Madonna wasn’t ugly and she didn’t need plastic surgery.  But she just couldn’t leave her face alone and started messing with it.  And now she looks like this.  Like the character from the Saw movies.

See kids.  This is why plastic surgery is bad; Because, in the end, it will age you worse than just allowing yourself to age naturally.

Tanya: Madonna looks terrible. I’m sad for her face.

Stacey: Forget her face, I am sad for my eyes.

[Show as slideshow]

[View with PicLens]

(Pic: Just Jared)

You know, I love Madonna.  I do.  And I want to defend her.  I really really do.  But I have a hard time defending her when she clearly has messed with her face.  Too much.  She has become one of those people that are almost unrecognizable.  And frightening.  I just don’t understand how anyone can think looking like this is better than allowing yourself to age.

Do you think she looks in the mirror and thinks she looks better?  Or do you think she regrets having anything done?  Because for a while, she looked amazing, age-defying.  Remember this?  But then she took it too far and now she looks like this.

Tanya: She probably looks at other women her age and thinks “at least I don’t look like that”. Which I think will be my approach to aging. I’ll keep a photo of Madonna and other women who look… off… and just remind myself “at least I don’t look like that”.

A few years back when Madonna stole a child that has a family “adopted an orphan” from Malawi she dedicated herself and a charity to help build a school for girls where they could go to get molested, just like Oprah’s school for girls.

Madonna kicked a bunch of people off some land that they were living on so that she could build the school. Well, some time has passed, the money is gone and the school will not be built.

“Despite $3.8 million having been spent by the previous management team, the project has not broken ground, there was no title to the land and there was, over all, a startling lack of accountability on the part of the management team in Malawi and the management team in the United States. We have yet to determine exactly what happened to all of that $3.8 million. We have not accounted for all the funds that were used.”

Word is that the money was spent on the executive’s salaries, golf course memberships and housing. Good, charitable things that really make a difference in the world.

Stacey: Shady shady business.  How can people misappropriate  steal money from a charity?  It literally makes me feel sick to my stomach.  Greed.  The mother of all evils.

(pic: Dlisted)

My mom is no fashionista. Not even close. I often have to tell her that it’s time for certain clothes to be thrown out because they’re past the post of even being donated to an animal shelter to line the bottom of a kennel.

But at least she doesn’t wear this when we go out to an event together.

Stacey: I can just picture Lola giving the old “Moooooom!” to Madge while she is doing all her Madonna-ing, being totally embarrassed by her and everything she wears.  As a mom, when dressing yourself, you should ask “would my daughter wear this?”.  If the answer is yes, you should not be wearing it.  In fact, if you even have to ask yourself that, you probably shouldn’t even consider wearing it.

Lola is turning into quite the knock out though.  Can’t wait until that girl turns 18…she is going to be a handful!

(pic: I’m Not Obsessed)

This is amusing. Some magazine (I think it was OK! but I grabbed this list from I’m Not Obsessed) did a poll on who the most and least desirable celebrity spouses are and this is what they came up with:

Least Desirable Celebrity Husband:

1: Charlie Sheen
2: Mel Gibson
3: Tom Cruise
4: Mickey Rourke
5: Pete Doherty
6: Marilyn Manson
7: David Hasselhoff
8: Ricky Gervais
9: Chris Moyles
10: Wayne Rooney

Least Desirable Celebrity Wife:

1: Amy Winehouse
2: Lindsay Lohan
3: Britney Spears
4: Heather Mills
5: Gwyneth Paltrow
6: Katie Holmes
7: Lady Gaga
8: Madonna
9: Nicole Kidman
10: Sarah Jessica Parker

Most Desirable Celebrity Wife:

1: Natalie Portman
2: Megan Fox
3: Katy Perry
4: Kate Moss
5: Gisele Bundchen
6: Cheryl Cole
7: Christina Hendricks
8: Rihanna
9: Kim Kardashian
10: Kate Middleton

Most Desirable Celebrity Husband:

1: Prince Harry
2: Justin Bieber
3: Robert Pattinson
4: David Beckham
5: Russell Brand
6: Colin Firth
7: Prince William
8: George Clooney
9: Piers Morgan
10: Brad Pitt

I agree with most of the “Least Desirable” spouses list but the “Most Desirable” ones are a bit off. Kate Moss & Gisele Bundchen?? Kate Moss is about as desirable and Pete Doherty and Gisele Bundchen sounds like she takes away your balls once she gets the ring.  As for the men, well, we see the problems right off the bat: Prince Harry and Justin Bieber. Bieber’s balls haven’t dropped yet and Prince Harry would probably be one of those “you’re probably going to see something in the tabloids that looks really bad, but it totally isn’t what it looks like” kinda guys. He’d be fun to date, but I’d say not a desirable husband.

Stacey: Clearly this poll came from somewhere overseas and was filled out by Brits and 12 year olds.  Because people like Kate Moss and Cheryl Cole would not even hit the radar over here.  Ok, Russell Brand over Brad Pitt?  That just doesn’t seem right.

Madonna opened a gym called “Hard Candy” yesterday and it’s said that she has personally picked out the decor, the machines, has choreographed the routines for all the classes and is generally “very involved” with the whole thing.

I would never want to go to Madonna’s gym. Madonna is hard core when it comes to working out and sometimes I just don’t want to go that hard and I definitely do not want to end up with Madonna-arms. She’s a little too ripped for me and if her training programs are based on her real life training program… well, I just don’t want it. And if she choreographs the classes I probably wouldn’t even be able to handle it

Stacey: Ya, I agree, Tan.  I like working out, but sometimes I like working out and chatting.  And sometimes I just like chatting.  I have a feeling Madonna or her trainers would come over and kick my ass if I was chatting.  Or give you the most insane bitch-face you have ever seen.  So insane that your head would explode.  She’s hard core like that.

(pic: Dlisted)

(Pic: Just Jared)

I am not really sure what exactly this ensemble is that Madonna is wearing but I don’t like it.  And I am a little confused by it.  There is just too much happening.  All over.  Is it pants and a shirt?  A dress and some leggings?

Can someone please help me out here?

On the plus side, I think her hair looks pretty.

Tanya: I think it might just be boots and a shirt. And I kinda like it. It looks like this is something from Lourdes’ new tween line “Material Girl”.

Stacey: Exactly why she probably shouldn’t be wearing it.

Who would Iggy Pop like to play him in a movie? Why, Lindsay Lohan of course:

“She looks like me, and she’s the only one with enough attitude too. They could tape her boobs up or something. She’s been in jail at the right age and everything, so I think she could do it.”

Iggy Pop isn’t the most sane man but if he’d chose Lindsay Lohan to play him I guess that means she’s still hireable.

If they made this movie, I’d see it. A movie about Iggy Pop would be pretty interesting and seeing Lindsay Lohan as Iggy Pop would be even more interesting. I also think Madonna would be a great casting choice.

(source: Triple J Music News, pic: Dlisted)

(Pic: Celebitchy)

Some things you just can’t un-see.

*shudder*

Madonna before and afters.  Look…if you dare!

Tanya: Her face is less horrifying than I would have imagined. But the hands/arms make up for it *shudder*

(Pic: Just Jared)

One of these things is not like the other.  One of these things just doesn’t belong.  Can you tell me which thing is not like the other by the time I’m finished this song.

Now which is it?  Is it the high low class hooker, Taylor Momsen?

Or the 50 year old aging pop star dressed at least 3/4′s her age?

Or the cute 14 year old hanging out with the low class hooker and the aging pop star?

I can’t decide which one is more out of place.  I can’t even decide who’s outfit I hate most.

Tanya: Taylor Momsen makes me want to punch things. More specifically  she makes me want to punch her. In the face.