(Pic: Dlisted)

Do all aging pop stars start to look and dress the same?

Just sayin’.

Cause we have seen this look before.

Tanya: I’m more grossed out by Jesus’ corn rows. Ick!

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(Pics: Just Jared, Wooden Spears, Ugo, Daily Mail)

Wow.  Madonna actually looked really great last night for her birthday bash.  No scary arm gristle, no alarming cheek bones, great dress, great color.

We give Madge a lot of crap here sometimes because let be honest, while she is a legend, she is a frightening, frightening  woman.  But no matter how frightening she is, all I can say is I hope I look half as good as she does when I am her age.  Home girl is 52.  52!  Think of other women you know who are 52 and now think of Madonna.  Its pretty decent by comparison.  If only she looked like this more often and less like this.  The world would be a better place.

Tanya: While I do agree that she looks better than usual here, it’s just weird. Here’s a pic of her when she was 27 (25 years ago!), a pic of Annette Benning who was also born in 1958, and a pic of Scarlett Johansson who is 26. Madonna’s ‘work’ might look good when she’s on stage or posing for pictures (who am I kidding, you know that’s all photoshopped), but in real life it’s creepy. If I was at a party with Madonna, Scarlett Johansson and Annette Benning I’d admire Scarlett for her youthful beauty, respect Annette for her work and the wisdom that comes with age, and I’d stare at Madonna and just think about her face and what she’s done with it. It would distract me from thinking about her extensive career and influence because I’d be more afraid of her flexing her Herculean arms and demanding that Jesus Luz give her some more South American blood so she can swoop down over a small African village and grab another child in her scaly claws.

It’s the same with Micheal Jackson. If I ever met him in person I’d be too busy staring at him trying to see the seam of his prosthetic nose to feel the respect that a musician of that stature deserves.

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(pic: Just Jared)

I normally think Lourdes dresses really cute but this mismatch pant leg thing is a big fat no.  And Madonna’s try hard L.L. Cool J is a big fat no as well.

Both of them.  No.  Just no.

Tanya: The lady behind them has Maleficent hair which makes this picture my favourite. Oh wait, that’s just the shop window? Lame. Maybe it’s kinda cool that Lourdes wants to be all matchy-matchy with her mom, but I think it could have been done better. Lourdes looks like she is going to a Jester audition and Madge, well, Madge just looks like she’s trying to hard (which she is).

(Pic: Celebslam)

Madonna?

or…

Courtney Love?

I can’t tell.

Apparently, its Courtney Love.  But those gristly arms and teased blonde hair and plastic surgeoned face could of fooled me.

Question.  Who does that comparison make you more sad for?

Tanya: Whoever this is terrifies me. *shudder* I hope we don’t age like that.

(Pic: Celebitchy)

Geeze. This is the best I have seen Madonna look in ages.

What?  You mean, this isn’t Madonna? Are you sure?  Because I could swear that this is a picture from her Cherish video.

Oh.  Its Lady Gaga.  Looking almost exactly like Madonna.  Again.  Has anyone noticed how she seems to be taking inspiration/ripping off a lot of Madge’s old looks?  I am sure its totally coincidental but I can’t help but notice the similarities.   I guess she could be considered our generation’s Madonna.  In the long run, though, I think Madonna’s music will stand the test of time.  Eventually, Gaga will fade away.  But that’s just my opinion.

Is it just me or does anyone else see it too?

Tanya: Totally see it. And now I have “Cherish” stuck in my head. Thanks LaLa.

Apparently Disney has a rule book on how to go from ‘child star’ to ‘serious adult’ and it involves kissing girls on stage. Britney Spears did it, then Lindsay Lohan, then Vanessa Hudgens, and now Miley Cyrus is. Here’s Miley becoming an adult on the stage of Britain’s Got Talent.

Stacey: Didn’t you know that you aren’t really a “woman” until you kiss another chick?  Come on, I thought this was common knowledge.

The funny thing about this is that Miley thinks she is being cutting edge and daring, when the truth is that this is old and boring.  This doesn’t shock us any more.  In fact, I would have been more shocked id she didn’t kiss another chick.  This is pretty standard stuff.  Sad but true.

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Stacey, remember when I said Madonna has “Granny Cleavage” and you asked me to never say the words “Granny Cleavage” ever again? Well, I was looking through the I Smell Smut analytics and people are searching Google for “granny cleavage”, finding our site, and loving our posts. In fact, of all the ridiculous things people are searching for to find our site, “granny cleavage” is the #20 traffic driving keyword. That’s fairly high for something so weird and disturbing (Tori Spelling is #1; also weird and disturbing). I’m also loving the amount of traffic we get for the term “Motorboat“.

Some other personal faves:

“bathing suits to make your butt look bigger”

“cyrus’s parenting skills”

“jared leto pretentious”

“tits in Hawaii”

Heh. Analytics are fun

Stacey: LOL!  I love this story so much!  Granny Cleavage?  Who is searching for this term?  You people are sick.  You know who you are!  *gives side eye*

I’m beginning to find these Madonna photos a little insulting. Either she’s getting every inch of her body nipped and tucked or someone just went a little overboard on the airbrushing. But most likely the truth is a little from column A and a little from column B.

This is offensive though. Yes, Madonna sets a high standard of beauty, but at 51 no one looks like this naturally. No matter how flattering the light is. Skin gets loose and loses it’s elasticity. For a reference, here’s Iggy Pop who is admittedly older than Madonna (he’s 63) but he’s also someone who is constantly touring and putting his body through the same rigorous lifestyle of touring and performing, which takes a toll on people.

So please, let’s try and keep these Madonna ad campaigns a little more life-like. Or just use a cartoon because that’s pretty much what’s going on here anyway.

Stacey: While I agree that there is some airbrushing going on here, I totally think Madonna’s body looks like this.  There is no sagging there.  Please.  Lets not compare her to Iggy Pop every again.  Because while he may have the same touring schedule, he probably eats like garbage and drinks.  I’m not saying that for sure, I am just assuming.  And he was probably much harder on his body in his younger days.  Madge has always been good to her body.

(pics: Dlisted & TMZ)

I went shopping with my grandma once to pick out a dress for her for some event. We settled on a cute black dress with some pretty flowers that just needed to be altered a bit in the straps.

I don’t know what happened at the alteration place though because a few months later we went out to see a play and she wore the dress – and it was granny cleavage everywhere. It looked like Madonna here; the intentional display of granny cleavage. My grandma wore a wrap over hers because she didn’t want to look like she was trying to bring all the boys to the yard. Unlike Madonna. Madonna honestly looks like she’s pulling the old ladies girls out so you don’t look at her face and realize that she IS the same age as your grandma, or at least your mom.

Stacey: I don’t know what it is, but it seems like Mo has aged, like, 10 years over the last two years.  And it kills me to say it, because I love her, but she looks like a scary old witch.  She was never traditionally pretty, and we all can’t have the same genetics as Demi Moore, but Madge has not aged gracefully.  Remember us talking about how ugly people should not stand next to beautiful people.  Well, Madge should not stand next to young people because it ages her significantly.  And it also makes her look…desperate.  This picture makes it look like a grandson walking his grandmother across the street.  Especially with those hands!

PS.  Can we never say the words “granny” and “cleavage” together in the same sentence again?  Barf.

(pic: Dlisted)

I’ve been staring at this photo of Madonna and Demi Moore for the last 10 minutes and I can’t look away. I’m not sure if its because of their eyes, cheek bones or “warm embrace” but it’s creepy. Seriously. Take a moment to really look at it and tell me you don’t feel a little hollow inside.

Can Madonna suck out my youth through the monitor? :’(

Stacey: I feel oddly drawn to yet repulsed by this picture.  Honestly, Demi scares me more.