I Smell Smut

(Source: Celebitchy, Pic: bittenandbound.com)

You know, as much as Megan Fox likes to flaunt her business all over the world, I actually believe this peice of information.  She recently did an interview with the UK Harpers Bazaar and had this to say:

I’ve only been with two men my entire life,” …. “My childhood sweetheart and Brian [Austin Green]. I can never have sex with someone that I don’t love, ever. The idea makes me sick. I’ve never even come close to having a one-night stand.

Being a sex symbol and being slutty are two completely different things.  Look, I think Megan is gorgeous.  But I also think she is painfully insecure.  Which leads me to believe that she probably hasn’t slept with tons of people.  And I often think that her outlandish behaviour is a cover up to the really person she is, which is an inexperienced young woman putting out to the world what she thinks they want to see. 

She is 23 years old and has been with Brian Austin Green since she was like 19.  And its not like we have seen her out with all these other guys.  We have only seen her date B.A.G. (hehe, his initials are BAG).

While many people aren’t going to believe her, I think I am going to back Megan on this one.  Just because you put a certain image out there, doesn’t mean thats who you really are.

Hahahahah, OK. Not really

Megan Fox and Mickey Rourke are filming a new movie called Passion Play and this is them on set. Now most people end up getting “linked” to their costar at some point (case in point) but this one I don’t know. It’s a bit too out there. On the one hand, there’s a huge age difference and he’s kinda past his prime. But on the other hand, this IS Mickey Rourke & Megan Fox. Mickey’s been known to hook up with the younger ladies and Megan, well, Megan’s created her own reputation so I’m going to call it and say that these two will be “romantically linked” according to at least 1 supermarket tabloid.

Stacey: They would be the perfect couple.  Beauty and The Beast.  Too obvious a joke?  I’m sorry. 

(pic: I’m Not Obsessed)

(Pic: The Superficial)

In an effort to stick to my new years resolution, I am going to change it up a bit and say something nice about Megan Fox at the behest of Tanya’s sister in law, who said she felt we were, perhaps, too mean to Megan.  I will admit, I can be quite nasty when it comes to Megan.  And because I am fairly certain she is going to do something that will annoy me at some point between now and the end of the year, why not start the year off on a positive note, eh?

So here goes…

Megan is the new spokes model for Armani underwear.  I think she is a great choice.  Why?  For one, she is using her best assets.  Her body and her face.  And in all honesty, they are both amazing  And for two, she isn’t speak, which I think is a great part of these pictures; I can’t hear her voice.

Hmmmm.  That last sentence isn’t really very nice, is it?

Well, at least I tried.

Click here to see more of Megan doing what she does best.

Tanya: I’m going to try and be a little nicer and say that I prefer her Armani ads to Posh’s.

Michael Bay (director of Transformers, aka Hitler) took some time out from doing Hitler-y things to do a service to his country: direct a Victoria’s Secret commercial. If I am ever in a movie  I want to be filmed doing action scenes in my underwear like these ladies. After I hit the gym hard. Say what you will about Megan Fox being a dim bulb or a bad actress, Micheal Bay makes her (and these ladies) look HOT.

Stacey: It’s true.  Michael catches a lot of flack but he knows what men want to see; nearly naked chicks doing action sequences.

(Pic: Celebitchy)

Well, if you ever wanted a close up of Megan Fox’s vag, here it is, in its full glory.

It has been a while since we have posted a Megan bashing article.  Mostly because she hasn’t said anything incredibly stupid for the last few weeks.  I was starting to wonder if she had become a mute because for a while there it seemed like she couldn’t shut her stupid trap.  But, like clock work, Megan has come out with a new interview and with new comments that do nothing but make you roll your eyes and hate on her more.

On girls: “Women tear each other apart. Girls think I’m a slut, and I’ve been in the same relationship since I was 18. The problem is, if they think you’re attractive, you’re either stupid or a whore or a dumb whore. The instinct among girls is to attack the jugular.”

There are plenty of beautiful women out there that we don’t hate on.  We hate on Megan because she says stupid sh%t to get attention.  Because she has degraded herself to nothing but a pin up girl, not saying anything with substance.  And she has chosen to do this, yet hates that it has happened.  I don’t hate her because she’s beautiful, I hate her because she spews garbage from her mouth.

On her last movie, Jennifer’s Body: “People expected ‘Jennifer’s Body’ to make so much money.  But I was doubtful. The movie is about a man-eating, cannibalistic lesbian cheerleader, and that pretty much eliminates middle America. It’s obviously a girl-power movie, but it’s also about how scary girls are. Girls can be a nightmare.”

I was also doubtful about that movie making money.  But not because of the content.  I was doubtful because of the actress.  When you are as attractive and threatening as Megan is, you need to have the talent to back it up.  But Megan doesn’t.  So, she is just threatening and talentless.  My hubby thinks Megan is hot, but not hot enough to sit through an entire movie featuring her bad acting skills.  And now she seems to be biting the hand that feeds her.  If she was doubtful of the movie, why did she do it?

Moral of the story: if you want people to stop hating on you, stop doing things that make them hate you.  Like flashing your business for magazine articles.

Tanya: I just got home from a long day of work & school and I was trying to eat dinner. Thanks for ruining my appetite with the crotch shot

A while back Megan Fox said that working with Michael Bay was like working with Hitler and hasn’t been shy about letting out her true (unhappy) feelings about the set of Transformers.

Well, in an awesome smutty fashion three crew members wrote a letter about what it was like to have Megan on set and have posted it on Michael Bay’s website. It’s so good.

“This is an open letter to all Michael Bay fans. We are three crew members that have worked with Michael for the past ten years. Last week we read the terrible article with inflammatory, truly trashing quotes by the Ms. Fox about Michael Bay. This letter is to set a few things straight.

“Yes, Megan has great eyes, a tight stomach we spray with glycerin, and an awful silly Marilyn Monroe tattoo plastered on her arm that we cover up to keep the moms happy.

“Michael found this shy, inexperienced girl, plucked her out of total obscurity thus giving her the biggest shot of any young actresses’ life. He told everyone around to just trust him on his choice. He granted her the starring role in Transformers, a franchise that forever changed her life; she became one of the most googled and oogled women on earth. She was famous! She was the next Angelina Jolie, hooray! Wait a minute, two of us worked with Angelina ‘ second thought ‘ she’s no Angelina. You see, Angelina is a professional.

“We know this quite intimately because we’ve had the tedious experience of working with the dumb-as-a-rock Megan Fox on both Transformers movies. We’ve spent a total of 12 months on set making these two movies.

“We are in different departments; we can’t give our names because sadly doing so in Hollywood could lead to being banished from future Paramount work. One of us touches Megan’s panties, the other has the often s–ty job of pulling Ms. Sour pantsout of her trailer, while another is near the Panaflex camera that helps to memorialize the valley girl on film.

“Megan has the press fooled. When we read those magazines we wish we worked with that woman. Megan knows how to work her smile for the press. Those writers should try being on set for two movies, sadly she never smiles. The cast, crew and director make Transformers a really fun and energetic set. We’ve traveled around the world together, so we have never understood why Megan was always such ‘ the grump of the set?

“When facing the press, Megan is the queen of talking trailer trash and posing like a porn star. And yes we’ve had the unbearable time of watching her try to act on set, and yes, it’s very cringe-able. So maybe, being a porn star in the future might be a good career option. But make-up beware, she has a paragraph tattooed to her backside (probably due her rotten childhood) easily another 45 minutes in the chair!

“So when the three of us caught wind of Ms. Fox, pontificating yet again in some publication (like she actually has something interesting to say) blabbing her trash mouth about a director whom we three have grown to really like. She compared working with Michael, to ‘working with Hitler‘. We actually don’t think she knows who Hitler is by the way. But we wondered how she doesn’t realize what a disgusting, fully uneducated comment this was? Well, here let’s get some facts straight.

“Say what you want about Michael ‘ yes at times he can be hard, but he’s also fun, and he challenges everyone for a reason ‘ he simply wants people to bring their ‘A’ game. He comes very prepared, knows exactly what he wants, involves the crew and expects everyone to follow through with his or her best, and that includes the actors. He’s one of the hardest working directors out there.

“He gets the best from his crews, many of whom have worked with him for 15 years. And yes, he’s loyal, one of the few directors we’ve encountered who lowered his fee by millions to keep Transformers in the United States and California, so he could work with his own crew.

“Megan says that Transformers was an unsafe set? Come on Megan, we know it is a bit more strenuous then the playground at the trailer park, but you don’t insult one of the very best stunt and physical effects teams in the business! Not one person got hurt!

“And who is the real Megan Fox? She is very different than the academy nominee and winning actors we’ve all worked around. She’s as about ungracious a person as you can ever fathom. She shows little interest in the crew members around her. We work to make her look good in every way, but she’s absolutely never appreciative of anyone’s hard work. Never a thank you. All the crewmembers have stopped saying hi to Ms. Princess because she never says hello back. It gets tiring. Many think she just really hates the process of being an actress.

“Megan has been late to the sets many times. She goes through the motions that make her exude this sense of misery. We’ve heard the A.D’s piped over the radio that Megan won’t walk from her trailer until John Turturro walks first! John’s done seventy-five movies and she’s made two!

“Never expect Megan to attend any of the 15 or so crew parties like all the other actors have. And then there’s the classless night she blew off The Royal Prince of Jordan who made a special dinner for all the actors. She doesn’t know that one of the grips daughters wanted to visit their daddy’s work to meet Megan, but he wouldn’t let them come because he told them ’she is not nice.’

“The press certainly doesn’t know her most famous line. On our first day in Egypt, the Egyptian government wouldn’t let us shoot because of a permit problem as the actors got ready in make up at the Four Seasons Hotel. Michael tried to make the best of it; he wanted to take the cast and crew on a private tour of the famous Giza pyramids. God hold us witness, Megan said, “I can’t believe Michael is f—ing forcing us to go to the f—ing pyramids!” I guess this is the ‘Hitler guy’ she is referring to.

So this is the Megan Fox you don’t get to see. Maybe she will learn, but we figure if she can sling insults, then she can take them too. Megan really is a thankless, classless, graceless, and shall we say unfriendly b—-. It’s sad how fame can twist people, and even sadder that young girls look up to her. If only they knew who they’re really looking up to.”

“But ‘Fame’ is fleeting. We, being behind the scenes, seen em’ come and go. Hopefully Michaelwill have Megatron squish her character in the first ten minutes of Transformers 3. We can tell you that will make the crew happy! -Loyal Transformers Crew”

The letter has since been pulled and Michael Bay and he said in response “I don’t condone the crew letter to Megan. And I don’t condone Megan’s outlandish quotes. But her crazy quips are part of her crazy charm. The fact of the matter I still love working with her, and I know we still get along. I even expect more crazy quotes from her on Transformers 3. Michael”

Hahahah, sooo good.

(Uber big thanks to JustJared who caught the full letter before it was pulled!)

Stacey: Love it.  This is the stuff that smutty dreams are made of!  Bitchy, retaliatory, juvenile, anonymous letters….amazing.

While we’re on the topic of girls who aren’t conversationalists (or at least shouldn’t try to be), here’s Megan Fox looking hot at the Toronto Film Festival where she premiered Jennifer’s Body. The plot of the movie?

The story follows best friends Jennifer (Megan) and Needy (Amanda) who go to see a concert by Adam Brody’s character’s band. While there, a freak fire occurs killing many. And since the band made a deal with the devil to sacrifice a virgin, Jennifer’s body becomes possessed by demons. Also, because she was not a virgin, she becomes a man-eater.

And here I thought only lame artsy films made it into the film festival! Ha!

Stacey: I am not sure how I feel about this movie.  Will I see it, won’t I see it?  I am not sure I can handle all that Megan time.  Have you seen How To Lose Friends and Alienate People?  I love Simon Pegg so that is why I watched it in the first place.  Megan is a lead role and she has more speaking lines in this movie than she did in both Transformers combined…and it was more than I could handle.  She may look good, but her voice is annoying.  Sorry guys, I know she is hot, but it doesn’t make up for her annoyingness.

UPDATE: Denied! Warner Brothers has denied this story to People.

There have been several online reports today (but no official confirmation) that Megan Fox is set to play Catwoman in the next Batman.

While she’s definitely got the comic book curves and the provocative look of a prostitute, it just doesn’t feel right. Christopher Nolan taking on Catwoman? I didn’t expect it.

I would like to see some Harley Quinn though

Stacey: Boooring!  I hope this isn’t the casting they are going with cause if it is, it is lame and unimaginitive.  You wouldn’t think they would need such a money grab.

I’d like to see Poison Ivy again.  Maybe Laura Prepon.

(Pic: Just Jared)

Here’s Megan Fox rocking some velour track pants with her boyfriend/not boyfriend Brian Austin Green rocking a…

I’m sorry…is that a Betty Ford Center shirt?

Yes, it sure is. Wow.  That’s low class and tacky.

Just like Megan.

ZING!

[View with PicLens]

So the hubby and I did a double date with Tanya and her hubby to see Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.  I was going into this movie with little to no expectations as I had yet to hear anything good about this movie from anyone I knew.  And with Megan Fox as a costar, how good could it really be?

Well, it turns out, it is really good.  Much better than I expected.  Keep in mind, this movie is pure brain and eye candy.  If you go into this movie expecting to see an Oscar winner you will be sadly disappointed.  But if you go into it wanting to see great action, amazing CG, and just an all around good time, this movie will meet expectations.

Shia LaBeouf (new Freebie Fiver), as always, was so charming and so engaging, Megan Fox’s annoyingness was kept to a minimal although she has come down with a serious case of, as my husband would call them, vagina lips, and the supporting cast great as well (more Josh Duhamal!).  Also, John Turturro is back for this film as well.  Probably my favorite of all the characters.

The real stars of this movie though are the robots and the action scenes.  At first it was really hard to watch and actually see what was happening as the action moves so quickly and camera angles are constantly changing, but once you get a hang of it, the CG is some of the best I have ever seen.

My one complaint would be that it did feel a little long at the end.  I would say that they could have shaved off about 15 minutes comfortably.  At one point I actually turned to my hubby and said “any day now”.  The fact that I had the large soda probably didn’t help.

Over all though, good movie, go see it if you haven’t.  Just go in expecting some mindless fun and you won’t be disappointed.

Tanya: Loved it <3 The action was great, the CG were great, and the company was great There were some scenes that were eye-rolling, but that’s expected for a good action movie. I think all the hate from the critics was unfounded. You’re going to see a sequel of a movie loosely based on a cheesy (but still very awesome) 80’s cartoon. Rate accordingly.

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