(Pic: Us Weekly)

You know, Megan Fox is a lot of things…but I don’t think that is how I would describe her.

Us Weekly has a story titled “Megan Fox Flaunts Curves in Tight Red Dress“.  Sorry but where are these curves?

This is why women have body image issues; if a woman as teensy tiny as Megan Fox can be called “curvy” the rest of us are big fat porkers.

Tanya: Curves? Um, no. These are not curves. Megan Fox used to be curvy but now she is not. She can no longer have that title.

Ok, maybe she doesn’t have Botox. But then that means that there is something else going on because you can not deny that this is not the face that Megan Fox used to have. She’s almost unrecognizable from 5 years ago. So if it’s not Botox WTH has she been doing to her face??

Stacey: Ummm ya.  While it might not be botox that doesn’t explain what happened to the rest of her freaky face.  At 25, we shouldn’t be having this discussion about her.

(pic: The Superficial)

(Pic: Just Jared)

I know we have talked about this before but….who’s face is this?  The caption says Megan Fox but it just doesn’t quite look like her.  She looks more like Monica Belucci than Megan Fox.  Which isn’t a bad thing because Monica is beautiful.  It’s just a shame that Megan doesn’t look more like Megan.  Because she was beautiful too. 

See.  This is the impossible ideals that are perpetuated through celebrity.  Someone who is naturally beautiful like Megan, still feel the need to change how they look.  So sad.

Least Desirable Celebrity Husband:

1: Charlie Sheen
2: Mel Gibson
3: Tom Cruise
4: Mickey Rourke
5: Pete Doherty
6: Marilyn Manson
7: David Hasselhoff
8: Ricky Gervais
9: Chris Moyles
10: Wayne Rooney

Least Desirable Celebrity Wife:

1: Amy Winehouse
2: Lindsay Lohan
3: Britney Spears
4: Heather Mills
5: Gwyneth Paltrow
6: Katie Holmes
7: Lady Gaga
8: Madonna
9: Nicole Kidman
10: Sarah Jessica Parker

Most Desirable Celebrity Wife:

1: Natalie Portman
2: Megan Fox
3: Katy Perry
4: Kate Moss
5: Gisele Bundchen
6: Cheryl Cole
7: Christina Hendricks
8: Rihanna
9: Kim Kardashian
10: Kate Middleton

Most Desirable Celebrity Husband:

1: Prince Harry
2: Justin Bieber
3: Robert Pattinson
4: David Beckham
5: Russell Brand
6: Colin Firth
7: Prince William
8: George Clooney
9: Piers Morgan
10: Brad Pitt

I agree with most of the “Least Desirable” spouses list but the “Most Desirable” ones are a bit off. Kate Moss & Gisele Bundchen?? Kate Moss is about as desirable and Pete Doherty and Gisele Bundchen sounds like she takes away your balls once she gets the ring.  As for the men, well, we see the problems right off the bat: Prince Harry and Justin Bieber. Bieber’s balls haven’t dropped yet and Prince Harry would probably be one of those “you’re probably going to see something in the tabloids that looks really bad, but it totally isn’t what it looks like” kinda guys. He’d be fun to date, but I’d say not a desirable husband.

Stacey: Clearly this poll came from somewhere overseas and was filled out by Brits and 12 year olds.  Because people like Kate Moss and Cheryl Cole would not even hit the radar over here.  Ok, Russell Brand over Brad Pitt?  That just doesn’t seem right.

Best Movie Poster Ever.

So who really was the worst  of the worst last year? Here’s the list of the movies, actresses and actors who are nominated for sucking BIG TIME last year. Mostly it’s The Last Airbender, Twilight Eclipse and Sex & the City 2, but you can check out the full list and our opinions after the jump. But first I’d like to defend Twilight Eclipse: sure the acting was full fontrum, and the directing was pretty bad but it is EXACTLY the same as the book and you know the author was on hand to make sure it stayed that way so I’m putting most of the blame for that movie on her, not on the people trying to make it less lame.

Worst Picture
The Bounty Hunter
The Last Airbender
Sex & the City 2
Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Vampires Suck

Hmm, I’ve only seen The Last Airbender and Twilight Eclipse out of these ones, so based on what I’ve read, I’m going to say that Sex & the City 2 takes this one home.

Worst Actor
Jack Black – Gulliver’s Travels
Gerard Butler – The Bounty Hunter
Ashton Kutcher – Killers and Valentine’s Day
Taylor Lautner – Valentine’s Day and Twilight Eclipse
Robert Pattinson – Remember Me andTwilight Saga: Eclipse

Robert Pattinson… he was pretty awful in Twilight. And so was Taylor Lautner. But then again, so was Ashton Kutcher in Valentine’s Day. And Gerard Butler is bad in a lot of movies so I wouldn’t be too surprised if he sucked it in this one too… Hmmmm, tight race for worst actor.

Worst Actress
Jennifer Aniston – The Bounty Hunter and The Switch
Miley Cyrus – Last Song
The Four “Gal Pals” – Sex & the City 2
Megan Fox – Jonah Hex
Kristen Stewart – Twilight Eclipse

As much as I love KStew, her lip biting & dead-pan delivery was pretty bad. However, she is still better than Miley Cyrus in anything.

Worst Supporting Actor
Billy Ray Cyrus – The Spy Next Door (<-why do I get the feeling this one was a porno?)
George Lopez – Marmaduke, The Spy Next Door and Valentine’s Day (<-a Billy Ray & George Lopez porno?)
Dev Patel – The Last Airbender
Jackson Rathbone – The Last Airbender and Twilight Eclipse
Rob Schneider – Grown Ups

Billy Ray Cyrus FTW.

Worst Supporting Actress
Jessica Alba – The Killer Inside Me, Little Fockers, Machete and Valentine’s Day (<- if every performance you’ve done this year gets nominated for a Razzie, it might be a sign that you should change professions)
Cher – Burlesque
Liza Minnelli – Sex & the City 2
Nicola Peltz – The Last Airbender
Barbara Streisand – Little Fockers

Jessica Alba is my bet for this one.

Worst Screen Couple / Ensemble
Jennifer Aniston & Gerard Butler – The Bounty Hunter
Josh Brolin’s Face & Megan Fox’s Accent – Jonah Hex
Entire Cast of – The Last Airbender
Entire Cast of – Sex & the City 2
Entire Cast of – Twilight Eclipse

I’m taking Twilight on this one. They were all bad, but together they were awful. The worst part is that Eclipse was probably the best of Twilight movies so far.

Worst Director
Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer – Vampires Suck
Michael Patrick King – Sex & the City 2
M. Night Shyamalan – The Last Airbender
David Slade – Twilight Eclipse
Sylvester Stallone – The Expendables (<- wait a minute, Stallone directed that??)

Shyamalan KILLED the Last Airbender. It had a lot of potential but with some bad casting, bad editing, and a terrible presentation of the whole point of the Last Airbender M. Night Shyamalan drove at least half of the nails into the coffin of this movie. I hear Michael Patrick King did the same to Sex & the City 2 though, so I’m calling it a tight race between these two.

Worst Screenplay
The Last Airbender
Little Fockers
Sex & the City 2
Twilight Eclipse
Vampires Suck

This one goes to Vampires Suck on the premise that Twilight Eclipse can’t take credit for being shitty (blame the book for that one), and for the fact that Sex & the City 2 probably didn’t have a screenplay.

Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel
Clash of the Titans
The Last Airbender
Sex & the City 2
Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Vampires Suck

Wow. All the same movies again. This one is the Last Airbender again for the fact that it’s not supposed to be a prequel and should have been a stand-alone movie that sequels could possibly be made from, but instead it didn’t have an ending (and not in a dramatic way either, just in a “this will have a sequel” ending) which is uber lame because the movie was so bad that there never will be a sequel so I’ll never know what the whole effing point of the movie was!!! ARGH!

Seriously.  Who’s face is this?  Because this person who claims to be Megan Fox is clearly an impostor right?  Because that is not Megan’s face.  At least its not the face that she started off with.  Which is really too bad.  Because she was super pretty.  Now, she looks like an alien/desperate house wife.  And it frightens me.

Love the dress though.

Tanya: Her dress was great. And as weird as her face is now, it doesn’t bother me as much as Brian Austin Green’s face:

What a smug bitch.

Love her stomach.

Stacey: You know, my first instinct was to be all “oh, she’s too skinny”.  But who am I trying to kid here?  She looks amazing and I wish I had her body.  Love the tummy.

(pic: The Superficial)

Its true.  We give Megan Fox a hard time here.  Why?  Well, for one, because she says the dumbest things sometimes.  And really, to this point, she hasn’t demonstrated the she has any talent other than her surgically enhanced body and face, one of which, she has gone too far on recently.

But, I will give credit where credit is due.  Recently Megan was cast, along with Dominic Monaghan, in Eminem’s new music video with Rihanna for Love The Way You Lie.  Have you heard it?  It is a great song that finally feels like the old Eminem that actually made good music rather than his music in the last few years that was campy and silly.  But that is beside the point.

The point is that the song deals with the tough subject of domestic abuse and the video is said to show Megan and Dominic going through the various stages.  What is cool about this is that Megan donated the fee that she would have received for the video to the Sojourn House, which is a charity that provides shelter for women and children that have left abusive homes and need a place of safety.  Very cool Megan.

Maybe there is some hope for this young lady after all.

Tanya: Awesome! Props to Megan for this one for sure!

If Megan Fox is the defender of the universe we are all in deep deep trouble.

Tanya: This morning my brother and I were talking about adoption and he asked something along the lines of “how old is too old to change the name of the kid you adopted?” and I said “if they’re a baby it’s probably not a big deal, but over 1 year old and you should probably leave it as is, unless they have a really terrible name like ‘Crap Bag‘” and he said “or Optimus”. Whatever, if I adopted a kid named Optimus I’d totally keep the name! In fact, I’m tempted to go find a kid named Optimus to adopt because if I have my own kid that I have to name my hubby probably won’t let me use that one. It’s the only way.

After breaking up, getting back together, and losing her engagement ring, it turns out that Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green tied the knot in Hawaii, according to TMZ.

You know what?  I am actually kinda of excited for these two.  While I am not too fond of Megan, I do think BAG (haha) is totally hot.  Maybe its because he was David Silver?  Anywoo, I like these two together.

On a side note, look at this picture.  Remember when Megan actually looked like this?  When did her face start morphing into this new, alien face she has?  So sad, because she was so beautiful.

Tanya: Wow. She really does look like two different people. She went from Tiffani Thiesson to Shannen Doherty. But the wedding is exciting, these two really seem to go well together.

Congrats!