(that title is sarcastic)

Mel Gibson is in Cannes promoting his new flick The Beaver which actually looks way less terrible than I had anticipated. Unlike Mel who looks like the guy that showers at the truck stop.

Mel also looks like he might have waxed his chest. I find this disgusting, but I also find his old-man chest hair disgusting. Which is worse?

Stacey: No way.  Waxed chests are not my thing…most of the time.  There are always exceptions, however, for the most part I prefer men with some hair on their chests.  Its virile and manly.  Its different when a guy actually doesn’t have hair on his chest naturally…but shaving/waxing it is generally a no-go for me.

(pic: The Superficial)

One word: crap. I have been reading every gossip website today and there is just nothing good to write about. I’m sorry if you’ve been checking the site and are full of the yawns due to slow posting. So to spice up your day a bit here is a picture of 3 people I’d love to punch in the face and some other dude who gets two face punches just for hanging out with them.

If you don’t believe me about the gossip drought, here’s the days highlights:

• Gwyneth Paltrow did not get a record deal
• Jonah Hill lost weight
• Ja Rule is starting his jail sentence in June
• Lindsay Lohan is still not going to jail, neither is Mel Gibson

(pic: JustJared)

This is amusing. Some magazine (I think it was OK! but I grabbed this list from I’m Not Obsessed) did a poll on who the most and least desirable celebrity spouses are and this is what they came up with:

Least Desirable Celebrity Husband:

1: Charlie Sheen
2: Mel Gibson
3: Tom Cruise
4: Mickey Rourke
5: Pete Doherty
6: Marilyn Manson
7: David Hasselhoff
8: Ricky Gervais
9: Chris Moyles
10: Wayne Rooney

Least Desirable Celebrity Wife:

1: Amy Winehouse
2: Lindsay Lohan
3: Britney Spears
4: Heather Mills
5: Gwyneth Paltrow
6: Katie Holmes
7: Lady Gaga
8: Madonna
9: Nicole Kidman
10: Sarah Jessica Parker

Most Desirable Celebrity Wife:

1: Natalie Portman
2: Megan Fox
3: Katy Perry
4: Kate Moss
5: Gisele Bundchen
6: Cheryl Cole
7: Christina Hendricks
8: Rihanna
9: Kim Kardashian
10: Kate Middleton

Most Desirable Celebrity Husband:

1: Prince Harry
2: Justin Bieber
3: Robert Pattinson
4: David Beckham
5: Russell Brand
6: Colin Firth
7: Prince William
8: George Clooney
9: Piers Morgan
10: Brad Pitt

I agree with most of the “Least Desirable” spouses list but the “Most Desirable” ones are a bit off. Kate Moss & Gisele Bundchen?? Kate Moss is about as desirable and Pete Doherty and Gisele Bundchen sounds like she takes away your balls once she gets the ring.  As for the men, well, we see the problems right off the bat: Prince Harry and Justin Bieber. Bieber’s balls haven’t dropped yet and Prince Harry would probably be one of those “you’re probably going to see something in the tabloids that looks really bad, but it totally isn’t what it looks like” kinda guys. He’d be fun to date, but I’d say not a desirable husband.

Stacey: Clearly this poll came from somewhere overseas and was filled out by Brits and 12 year olds.  Because people like Kate Moss and Cheryl Cole would not even hit the radar over here.  Ok, Russell Brand over Brad Pitt?  That just doesn’t seem right.

When Britney Spears was having her meltdown, Mel Gibson took her off to his private island for some downtime to work things out. Then when Mel Gibson was having his baby mama drama he turned to Britney Spears. I always wondered what she could offer him: someone to listen to his plight (really she just sat quietly and stared at a shiny spoon)?

But now the answer is clear: Mel Gibson wanted to consult with Britney Spears on disguises! Britney is a big fan of subtle wigs to throw the paps of her trail (and by subtle I mean neon pink), but Mel took it too the next level with a fake nose and mustache. So clever!

Stacey: Remember Charlie Sheen’s disguise?  That was the best…

(pic: Socialite Life)

Scandal! Or maybe it’s not a scandal??

Mel Gibson has been spared the eyewitness testimony of the babysitter who saw his rage first-hand — the same woman who the bigoted actor labeled a “wetback” — because she has passed away, RadarOnline.com has learned.

The woman had been battling stage four cancer for some time, but lost her fight at the weekend, we’re told.

As RadarOnline.com was first to reveal, the unnamed babysitter was an eyewitness to actor Mel’s rage before the alleged rampage at his Malibu mansion on January 6.

You can read more of the details here. Even though the woman had stage four cancer and her death is not unexpected, it still feels suspicious. Key witnesses suddenly dying are always conveniently killed off by someone trying to avoid charges!

Stacey: I know!  When I first read the headline I thought it was suspicious too.  But if she was battling cancer I guess we can’t blame that on Mel.  This story just keeps getting more sad and more weird.

This picture is hilarious though!  Where did you get this? 

(pic: Filmdrunk)

(Pics: Just Jared, Celebrity Smack)

One of our readers recently asked us if we have posted anything on the now epic and infamous Mel Gibson rage tapes.  For the most part, we have been staying away from the topic.  As odd as it sounds, there are some things we tend not to write about and this, for both Tanya and I, has been one of those subjects because it is really serious and really sad.  Hey, we do have some standards.

However, there are some funny aspects to this story.  The funniest, in my opinion, has been the “I will burn your house down but first you will blow me” tape, which we posted about here.  And apparently, it has been Jack Osbourne’s favorite part too.

How funny is this t-shirt?  Not that these tapes should be taken lightly, but this is hilarious.  So funny.    But Mel is so crazy that I would be concerned for my safety if I were Jack.  Mel’s scary and unbalanced.

Although, I think smiling and blowing at the same time would be rather difficult.

Thanks for the heads up on the t-shirt pics, Danger! While we won’t post the tapes, I hope this is a good compromise

Tanya: Kelly Osbourne has also been wearing one. I think these are going to catch on because they are hilarious, but it still makes me kinda sad because the whole situation is uncool and making fun of it takes away from the seriousness of it. But, when it comes down to it:

Funny t-shirt > extorting people for boatloads of cash > punching a baby

So Jack & Kelly Osbourne win this round.

(Pic: californiarumor.com)

..You seek the guidance of another totally crazy person.

Apparently, this is exactly what is happening, if you can believe In Touch magazine.  Since the start of this whole icky mess with Mel Gibson and his latest baby mama, we have been privy to a public meltdown not seen since the likes of, well, Britney Spears.

After Brit Brit’s baby having, head shaving, umbrella swinging, hospital staying “episode”, Mel apparently reached out to Brit, flying her whole family to Costa Rica and “counselled” her through what one can assume was a combination of postpartum depression and some other kind of mental illness. 

Well, now the shoe is on the other crazy person’s foot and Britney has reached out to Mel to help him through this disaster. 

Really?  Are we sure that this person should be helping another human being cope?  This person?  Maybe she can speak from experience on a whole “been there, done that” point of view.  But that would mean it would have to be past tense.  Its more like “still there, doing that” in this case.

If we didn’t question Mel’s sanity before this point, we should now, because when Britney Spears is your voice of reason, you are in trouble.  

As much as we like to joke, in all seriousness though, I hope Mel gets the help he needs and this whole circus can stop because it is really really sad.

*Props to Cory for sending me this article*

(Pic: brootalblog.com)

I would first like to state that I am in no way taking claims of abuse lightly.  Its very serious, and should the accusations be true, I hope that Mel is properly dealt with.

And I don’t want to go too far down the rabbit hole on this story so I will give you the important parts to this point:

• Mel Gibson divorced his wife and had a baby with new girlfriend, Russian singer, Oksana Grigorieva
• Shortly after baby’s birth, the split
• She said he beat her, verbally abused her
• He said she is a big fat liar
• She said she taped his verbal tirades
• He denied any tapes existed

And now to the juicy part.

Someone leaked parts of the tape.  And the excerpts hit the web via TMZ.  And one of the quotes is so unbelievably vial that I won’t post it here, you can go elsewhere to find it.

But the second one, while still horrible, is unintentionally hilarious:

(From Us Weekly)

‘How dare you act like such a bitch when I have been so f**king nice … I am going to come and burn the f–king house down… but you will blow me first.”

Clearly this man has some serious mental issues.  But that little gem is hilarious.  Aside from the threats of course.  Who says that?  I am going to destroy you!  But first you will pleasure me.  Now bring me my beer!

What a dill hole.

Hopefully the baby isn’t being effected by all this.  When will parents learn to put their own crap aside for the well being of the baby?

Tanya: I don’t think a baby could live in this environment and NOT be affected by it. And Mel Gibson… urgh. He makes me so embarrassed. Not only is he a racist prick but he gives Christians a bad name. You know how you equate Scientology and being a complete nut job because Tom Cruise, Kristi Alley & John Travolta are part of it? Well it makes me sad to think that people are going to equate Christianity with being a racist because of Mel Gibson

I’m not sure what Mel Gibson is doing here but I like it.

Hey, at least he’s not going to knock this beaver up

Stacey: This picture is so awesome for so many reasons.  When I look at it I think of Wynona’s Big Brown Beaver by Primus.  Oh Mel.  He is bat sh*t crazy.

(Caption This photo over at Socialite Life)

"Thanks, sugar tits!"

Remember Mel Gibson’s DUI arrest when he called the female officer “Suger Tits”. Not a shining moment.

At the Spike TV Guy’s Choice Movie Awards Mel did the induction for Fight Club into the Guy Hall of Fame.  Brad Pitt accepted with a simple “Thanks, sugar tits!”.

Awesome. But also not so awesome. It’s still WAY not cool to be calling ladies “sugar tits”. Making jokes about it validates it.

Stacey: I love this picture.  What does Mel have in his hand?  He looks like he is having fun though.  Brad on the other hand, does not.