Shirtless Jake Gyllenhaal. Yes, there’s more where that came from – JustJared - S – He looks like a really sexy caveman.

I think this is why people watch Jersey Shore – The Superficial - S - nothing, not even big boobies, couldmake me watch that show.

Rihanna Broke a Rib – People 

Heather Locklear hits the pole – Dlisted - S - Prrof that just because you are a celebrity doesn’t make you smart or responsible.

JLo the Style Icon of the Decade? Puh-lease. – Socialite Life - S – What?  I demand a recount!

Peaches Geldof works on cleaning up her image by taking pictures of herself licking a dudes ass while Eli Roth looks on. Classy. – !NSFW! Celebitchy - S - If it is possible, I think I actually find Eli Roth more repulsive than I did 5 minutes ago.

Stacey gets back this week (yay!) and though I’m sure she’ll have a boat-load of working waiting for her I want to bring her back to speed on one of the more interesting gossip stories she may have missed:

Before Stace left we were debating the likeness of Eli Roth & Zachary Quinto. Then on Friday Celebitchy posted an articleabout Eli Roth (37) cheating on his “trophy girlfriend” Peaches Geldof (21) who is (and I quote Celebitchy) “a professional party girl, basically, who sometimes slums it with paying gigs to give herself the whiff of legitimacy. She’s Lindsay Lohan without the child stardom. Ugh.”

I was starting to feel bad about comparing Eli Roth & Mr. Quinto because Roth was starting to come across as a pervy-douche and then the story got better:

Peaches Geldof got named in a post on Reddit for “The Most WTF One Night Stand Ever”. This guy claims that he was at a house party and started drinking his face off with a bunch of people. One thing leads to another and he starts chatting it up with Peaches, they get drunk, do some lemon heroin, take a romp in the hay (complete with photos) and pass out. Next thing the dude knows he’s puking his guts out in a sauna at a Scientology centre during a purification ritual.

The photos are totally Peaches so her peeps came out to say that “parts” of the story are true (drunking & nakedness) but the heroin and Scientology parts are all made up. From what I’ve heard about the British socialite she’s a bit of a party girl (previous stint in rehab for heroin also, I think?) so I’m buying this dudes whole story. No big deal, totally embarrassing for her but the story would have died down because no one really knows or cares about the life of Peaches.

But then Eli Roth gets involved. He Facebook creeps this dudes mom and writes her an open letter on his MySpace calling her out for being a terrible mom and posting links to her Facebook and Twitter pages. Here’s a link to his “open letter“; good luck making it through it without swearing under your breath and getting a bad taste in your mouth. Eli Roth is 2564% douche and he may have met his perfect match with Peaches. Maybe he likes them young and malleable, or maybe he just likes them drugged out and ready. Or maybe Peaches is actually a child prodigy who only does these things to relate with the common people.

And now you’re up to date!

Stacey: Thanks for the update!  I was kind of reading about this while I was away.  First of all, I could give to craps about Peaches.  I hear about her all the time but quite frankly she doesn’t interest me in the slightest.  Secondly, Eli Roth is a total creep.  Think of the movies he has made.  How screwed up do you have to be to come up with that garbage. 

However, this story cracks me up because it is so hypocritical.  Eli is bashing this guy, very publicly, for doing the exact thing that he is now doing to this person.  Really, what the hell are either of these people trying to accomplish?

People are so f-ed up.

And can we put the Eli Roth/Zach Quinto thing to bed now.  My Zach would never do this.