(Pic: The Superficial)

Hi, I’m Spencer Pratt and I am totally crazy.  After I shave my beard with this dangerous weapon I am going to save the hair and stuff it in a teddy bear.  Then I am going to run into the streets screaming that the world is coming to an end and then fling my own crap at people standing around me all while wearing a giant lobster costume and sucking my thumb.

Seriously, how insane is this picture.

Tanya: I’m all for this. Maybe he’ll miss and hit some major artery.

(Pic: TMZ)

Tanya, after months of suspense (ya, right), your suspicions appear to have been confirmed.  It looks like Heidi and Spencer are getting back together.  Or are still together, technically, since their whole break up/divorce/sex tape/twitter hate was all one big publicity stunt.  Here they are toasting something, obviously no longer divorcing.  Or were they ever really truly divorcing?

I owe you 1 london fog.

And I am not going any further into this stupid story because we have already wasted too much of our time.

Tanya: I bet if we wait a week or two they’ll be “divorcing” again. No wait, you know what would get better ratings? A baby scandal. “Spencer’s secret love child!” Hahaha. Spencer claimed that Heidi couldn’t walk in a charity walk “because of her surgeries” so I don’t think she can carry a baby. I’m not 100% on this, but I think being pregnant might be harder than walking. Unless all those women are just using it as an excuse to complain and we don’t know better?

(Pic: poponthepop.com)

I recently claimed victory over Tanya in our debat as to whether or not Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt’s divorce was real.  Up to this point, they have been doing a good job of convincing me.  They have been tweeting angrily and Spencer has been saying some pretty awful things about Heidi in the media.  And then, last week, their was the discovery of a sex tape and that Spencer was trying to sell it to the highest bidder.  And not just one, but many.

And that’s when my smut radar started going off.  If you recall, the whole reason Heidi and Lauren Conrad aren’t friends anymore is because Speidi spread a rumor that LC had a sex tape.  So you are telling me that after all that, Heidi and Spencer made a sex tape and Heidi didn’t do everything in her power to get it from him after the divorce?  Please.

And then over the weekend, Spencer alleged that he “found” a sex tape with Heidi and a Playboy model.  He just happened to “find” it.  As if to insinuate that Heidi just left it lying around the house after she left.  I don’t think so.  This has agreed upon publicity stunt written all over it.

And then TMZ was able to capture these two on video in Costa Rica.  Together.  At a hotel where they were meeting so that Spencer could “give back her dogs”.  Like they couldn’t do that in LA.  But things between them don’t look unpleasant.  In fact, they look pretty comfy.  This video casts a lot of doubt on this whole situation.  You can’t tell me that you would be civil enough with a man who is threatening to release a sex tape, starring you, to sit along side him in a golf cart.  Please!

This whole plan is hinged on the public believing these two hate one another.  I am not sure what I am more amazed at.  That anyone would actually want to see this sex tape.  Or that this whole thing is a big act just to stay famous.  How INSANE is that?

Maybe I owe you a London Fog, Tan.

Tanya: Sure this isn’t an old photo? She looks less plastic and he looks less crazy. The best part of this whole sex tape nonsense is that the tape isn’t with Spencer, it’s Heidi and some Playboy Bunnies (supposedly). Now, there is a huge chance this tape does not exist and it’s all a publicity stunt. BUT these two are soooo attention starved that I wouldn’t be surprised if the tape DOES exist, and it’s still all a publicity stunt.

Just came across this fun little quote from Heidi:

On ex Spencer Pratt selling their supposed sex tape: “I’m not aware of his filming me, but I wouldn’t put it past Spencer. He’s a sneaky guy and has little cameras everywhere that he got from China… I’m mortified at the thought that people could be looking at me naked before I had the surgery.”

What??? Mortified that people might see you BEFORE your surgery? But if it happens to be from after the surgery it’s totally cool that he taped you having sex when you didn’t even know about it?

(Pic: Just Jared)

Well, Tanya, it looks like you owe me a Londaon Fog, because apparently the assumed publicity stunt isn’t a stunt at.   TMZ is reporting that Heidi Montag has lawyer-ed up in her real divorce from Spencer Pratt.  *gasp!*

I guess it could still possibly be a publicity stunt and could be organizing the divorce just to reconcile and marry again.  But that seems like a lot of work for a little publicity.  I guess some people are just that desperate to be famous.

Tanya: But the whole marriage was fake anyway, so does a real dissolution of a fake marriage even count as real??

Let’s start the day off light with a pic of Heidi Montag making a “sad face” for the cameras. I can almost hear her discretely telling her friend “I don’t know what happened!”. Except that she’s not discrete, the cameras were rolling and the “friend” is her new reality show ‘co-star’. So I probably could get the audio for this, in which case I’d hear Heidi Montag saying something like “I don’t remember what my line is”.

(pic: The Superficial)

(Pics:skinnyvscurvy.com)

Say it isn’t so!  Our #2 Most Hated Celeb couple has shockingly called it quits.

After a crazy couple of years in which they got married, Heidi had over 10 plastic surgeries in one day to make her look like Sad Barbie, and have alienated themselves from all their friends and family, it now appears they are headed for splitsville.  Unless this is just another publicity stunt, because The Hills is, like, so real right.

I have, shamefully, been watching The Hills lately.  And its really sad.  In a recent episode Spencer was bragging to his friends that he doesn’t allow Heidi to watch TV or go online.  Also, it was incredibly sad to see her and her mom deal with her having the surgeries, which it is rumoured he pushed her into.

If it is true, I would like to say I am sad but I am not.  I have been watching that show since the beginning and Spencer is a big giant freak and has been so crazy and controlling with Heidi.  It has been alarming and frightening to watch.  I just hope that this is for real and not some plot plan.

Tanya: I bet you a London Fog that this is just a publicity stunt.