Sounds gross, doesn’t it? “Celine Dion’s Pastries”. Gross.

But what the story here really is about is a man who broke into Celine Dion’s house (using the house keys he found in her husband’s unlocked car) ate some of her pastries and took a bath. Looking at how skinny Celine is (this is obviously an old photo but she’s still a rail) my first impression is that any food found in her house is pretty gross. But then you remember how fat her husband is and it’s all bets off – they probably have the best pastries in Canada sitting in their pantry. Mmmmm, what I wouldn’t give for a nice chocolate croissant…

Stacey: This story is kind of scary but also a little funny.  Of all the things to do in Celine’s house (like steal stuff worth money) this dude apparently had the munchies and was a little stinky.  Hilarious.

But seriously, her husband deserves a slap in the head…leaving your house keys in your unlocked car when you are super famous is asking for trouble.  I lock my door all the time and am super careful with my keys and I am pretty sure no one wants top break into my house and eat some popcorn and take a nap.  They are very luck y something more serious happened.  

(pic: AskMen.com)

What do you do if you’re in the UK and you get a parking ticket? Shove it back in the police officer’s face. At least that’s what Amanda Seyfried did when she got a parking ticket at the premier of Red Riding Hood.

Seyfried was sitting in the shotgun seat waiting to leave Leicester Square when an officer slipped a Penalty Charge Notice under the wiper. Unimpressed, Seyfried got out of the car, grabbed the paper and tossed it back to the cop, saying “thank you, but no thank you.”

Wonder if that worked or if her car rental company is going to add that one on to her bill?

Stacey: Isn’t that funny.  That is pretty much exactly how I feel about Amanda…thank you, but no thank you.

(pic: FabLife)

Steve-O was in Calgary this weekend to do some stand-up comedy and when he arrived at the airport he was promptly arrested for some outstanding arrest warrants from an “assault with a weapon” incident at the UofC in 2003. He was released without incident on $10,000 bail and presumably went on to do his stand-up shows at the Laugh Shop.

Did anyone go see this? Is Steve-O OK as a stand-up comedian? I get the feeling he’d suck big time. He’s not into the drugs or booze anymore which is good, but it also means that he’s probably not stapling his balls to his leg or doing anything too crazy. Without that what does he really bring to the table?

Another question: Steve-O seems like he probably gets in a lot of trouble everywhere he goes. Do you think he gets arrested often on outstanding warrants?

Stacey: Ah, remember the days when Steve-O used to staple his balls to his leg?  Those were good times.

Although, my hubby and I saw him on TMZ this weekend and he said that he has been clean for almost three years.  That is pretty impressive.  Especially for someone who has a giant tattoo of himself on his back.

(story: Calgary Herald)

Based on the headline and Lindsay Lohan’s history of making bad legal decisions (and doing cocaine) you’d probably think that she just blew her chances of not going to jail. Unfortunately that is not what is happening here.

What is going on here is that the jeweller who claims Lindsay Lohan stole from him sold his surveillance tape to the media which violates all kinds of rules of how to behave in an ongoing investigation. Now the jeweller has little credibility or case to go on, Lindsay Lohan will probably not stand trial and we’ll probably have to hear from Dina or Micheal Lohan in some kind of press conference or TV interview how Lindsay is always being unfairly targeted and taken advantage of.

Whatever. Lindz gets to be the “victim” in this which is what she wants and the jewellery store owner got lots of press and probably a nice chunk of coin for selling the tape. The only people who lose here are us.

(pic: The Superficial)

Oh Charlie Sheen. This story just keeps getting more Sheen-erific:

• The “hooker” involved in the incident has been identified and said she’s not a hooker, she’s a porn star.
• Except for the fact that she was charging Charlie Sheen $12,000 to have sex with her just like a hooker
• Sheen, the hooker, Denise Richards and some other people were all out for dinner at some restaurant called Daniel. Richards left pretty quickly because Charlie Sheen was a drunken mess. At one point he and the call girl went to the bathroom where he did some cocaine and took of his clothes so he could sex her up but she said “where’s my money bitch?” and left him naked in the bathroom. Unable to dress himself, his handlers had to dress him and get him out of the bathroom to come back to dinner.
• Back at the hotel the same thing happened. More cocaine, more “no money, no sex”, and then Charlie Sheen couldn’t find his rare $150,000 watch, accused the girl of taking it and started trashing the room while shouting “Nigger! Nigger!” which, coincidently, is his pet name for Denise Richards (wtf??) while the call girl locked herself in the bathroom.
• Sheen did all this with only 8 days left on his probation from trying to threatening to kill his wife. But instead of jail or any sort of probation violation he’s filming a cameo in a movie for a friend and then going back to work on Two and a Half Men where he will make $1.8 million per episode

I was over at TMZ checking out the photos of the “incidents” and some of the commenters have a really good point: Charlie doesn’t really seem to be all that interested in her in any of the photos, it’s not hard to imagine who it was that leaked (read: sold) the photos of him at dinner or of the trashed hotel room to TMZ, and who probably stole his super expensive watch and maybe his wallet (originally reported missing, but now the focus in on the watch).

$12,000 for sex she never had (yes, she’s getting her lawyers to press for the money) + $150,000 watch + contents of wallet + $$ from selling hotel room and dinner photos to TMZ + $$ from interviews on the subject + increased business on her porn site because now people know about her = a very lucrative evening for this girl. You could call this extortion, but I think you could also call this “Charlie Sheen is a mess” and you probably won’t feel to bad for him.

Stacey: I agree.  He doesn’t seem interested in her.  But this doesn’t stop this from being the greatest story ever told. 

 It is amazing how much of a train wreck on individual can be.  However, for some reason, he is still loved.  Unlike Lilo, who is way less of a train wreck than this (yes, people, you did read that correctly) and she is being completely demonized (by us included). 

For the record,  Charlie makes over $2 million per episode of Two and a Half Men. 

(pic: TMZ)

Poor Lindsay Lohan. Literally. Lindsay Lohan’s probation officer has let the judge know that Lindsay has said she’s too poor to pay for rehab and has to go back to work in order to afford treatment. Apparently Lindsay’s clothing line is falling apart because she isn’t around to keep an eye on it. Or because it sucks. Your call.

But her “people” apparently have a different copy of the book than Lindsay does and are saying that her finances are fine and she can afford the stay.

My question is: if she can’t afford rehab does she go directly to jail? I don’t think you need any money to go to jail. It would be absolutely ridiculous to let her out to work because she’s proven that she is incredibly irresponsible and she’d be back in the blow in no time.

Stacey: See.  This girl doesn’t actually want to get better.  She just wants her freedom.  She doesn’t think she has a problem.  Why try and save someone if they don’t want to save themselves?

(pic: SocialiteLife)

What was probably a show of true manliness in order to back up his threats to Tom Brady, Justin Bieber found himself in a bit of trouble with the law this weekend.

The Biebs was playing laser tag in Richmond, BC with some of his homies (most likely his mom, dad and tour manager) when he smacked around a 12 year old who went and complained to the guy in charge at the laser tag place. Biebs and his entourage were then kicked out of the establishment and had to talk to the police about it. It is said that Bieber was being “heavily targeted” during the laser tag game (source: CBC).

Oh Biebs. Didn’t your mom tell you that if someone is being mean you should go talk to an adult first?

Stacey: Apparently, the kid Bieber “hit” was calling Biebs a “faggot”.  Not saying the kid deserved to be hit, but that is pretty terrible.  Supposedly, Biebs tried to get past the kid which was when the contact happened.  TMZ is reporting that the kid involved is saying Bieber didn’t actually hit him (who would want people to know that?) and the kid’s dad is the one that ran to the cops, claiming the violence occured.

As much as I don’t care for Justin, I am going to have to side with him on this one.  He isn’t stupid.  I don’t think he would hit some kid when he is so well known.  To me, this sounds like some adults recognizing a possible cash grab and making somehting out of nothing in order to exploit Justin’s fame.  Icky.

(pic: Photobucket)

For most people who break probation, the response is that they go to jail. This is what happened to T.I. who was busted for Purple Drank (aka cough syrup with some Sprite) and pot while he was on probation from a weapons charge. Even though he’s trying to cure Alzheimer’s and the cop that was on scene when he talked down the suicide jumper stood up for T.I. in court, and even when he admitted to the judge that he real problem is with drugs and he should probably go to rehab, he got sent back to jail for 11 months.

I actually feel bad for the guy. Even though that’s the way the law works (unless your Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton), it seems like he’s really trying to keep it together.

Stacey: While I don’t want to see T.I go back to jail because I believe he is truly trying to turn his life around, I don’t want to be a hypocrite.  He broke the law while he was on probation, same as Lindsay Lohan, so with that, I think he should be sent back to the clink.  Its just sucks that Linds seems to be getting different treatment.  If he were to receive the same treatment Lindsay is getting, he would be going to court mandated rehab, which is what he wants and sounds like he needs.  This is why the justice system doesn’t work; its full of double standards and inconsistencies.

Tanya: Eh. Even with it’s flaws, double standards and inconsistencies I’d still say it works and for the most part it works well. We live in a pretty safe society with a good mix of freedoms and constraints.

Stacey: Oh, I will totally agree with you there.  I just meant that this is when it appears to not work.  IMO, it is failing both Lindsay and T.I.  Sending someone to jail who really needs rehab and sending someone to rehab who only wants to be there to get out of going to jail. 

(pic: Dear-whoever.com)

This is super funny:

Lohan’s rouse was almost pulled off if it wasn’t for her accomplice, another patient, whose clothing got caught on the fence.
“Lindsay and her co-conspirator were forced to give it up and flag down a volunteer, who was crossing the center’s grounds on a golf cart,” a source, with knowlegde of the situation, told RadarOnline.com.
“The pair was safely returned, decaffeinated, to their hall, were they were the center of a process meeting over what they had done.”

You know why she wanted to escape? Because she wanted a Coke (the pop, not the drug).

HAHAH! I hope they have solitary confinement in the Betty Ford and that Lindsay Lohan has to sit there for a week because of her jonesing for a cola. What a dolt. You think you’d behave on a court ordered sentence.

Stacey: This story is so funny because she was escaping to get Coke the drink and not the drug.  I guess that shows some progress but how much can you love a soda pop?  Apparently enough to try and escape to get it. 

(pic: The Superficial)

The Miami Police Department website people must have thought this would be funny (or are not the sharpest people and thought no one would notice) and decided to put likenesses to Jay-Z on the Gang Awareness page of their website.

Obviously this had gotten quite a bit of reaction and they’ve since taken this “Gang” image down from their site.

Stacey: But didn’t Jay-Z used to be in gang?  Didn’t he used to sell drugs and stuff?  I don’t know.  I think its kind of funny.  Maybe a little offensive, but funny none the less.

Tanya: Jay-Z used to be in trouble with the law, but these likenesses are from albums way after he was already famous and running real companies. These pictures would be more accurate on a “How to Identify A CEO” poster. It would be like taking a picture of Nicole Richie taking Harlow to ballet class for your “How to Spot a Drug Addict” campaign. Sure she used to have problems but it wouldn’t be an accurate awareness campaign.

I think they just used these images because they needed a Black guy and the artist(s) didn’t know how to do it. For that matter, they didn’t know how to accurately draw any other races either. What’s up with the dude in the middle?

(pic: BuzzFeed.com)