(Pic: Dlisted)

Old boyfriends, Tom Cruise and David Beckham seem to be entrenched in an epic staring contest.  And all the while, Tom’s son, Conner, appears to be keeping a close eye on things to ensure no one is cheating.

Either that or they are looking lovingly into each other’s eyes, fighting the desire to make out and Conner is giving Becks the stink eye for stepping in on his date.

Tanya: From this picture it looks like David Beckham has front row seats while Tom Cruise is sitting second row. Puh-lease. You know that would never happen. Tom & Conner Cruise had to walk over to say Hi to the Becks’s and maybe that’s why Connor is shooting the sideeye.

My favourite pic: Becks & Brooklyn’s bonding:

Least Desirable Celebrity Husband:

1: Charlie Sheen
2: Mel Gibson
3: Tom Cruise
4: Mickey Rourke
5: Pete Doherty
6: Marilyn Manson
7: David Hasselhoff
8: Ricky Gervais
9: Chris Moyles
10: Wayne Rooney

Least Desirable Celebrity Wife:

1: Amy Winehouse
2: Lindsay Lohan
3: Britney Spears
4: Heather Mills
5: Gwyneth Paltrow
6: Katie Holmes
7: Lady Gaga
8: Madonna
9: Nicole Kidman
10: Sarah Jessica Parker

Most Desirable Celebrity Wife:

1: Natalie Portman
2: Megan Fox
3: Katy Perry
4: Kate Moss
5: Gisele Bundchen
6: Cheryl Cole
7: Christina Hendricks
8: Rihanna
9: Kim Kardashian
10: Kate Middleton

Most Desirable Celebrity Husband:

1: Prince Harry
2: Justin Bieber
3: Robert Pattinson
4: David Beckham
5: Russell Brand
6: Colin Firth
7: Prince William
8: George Clooney
9: Piers Morgan
10: Brad Pitt

I agree with most of the “Least Desirable” spouses list but the “Most Desirable” ones are a bit off. Kate Moss & Gisele Bundchen?? Kate Moss is about as desirable and Pete Doherty and Gisele Bundchen sounds like she takes away your balls once she gets the ring.  As for the men, well, we see the problems right off the bat: Prince Harry and Justin Bieber. Bieber’s balls haven’t dropped yet and Prince Harry would probably be one of those “you’re probably going to see something in the tabloids that looks really bad, but it totally isn’t what it looks like” kinda guys. He’d be fun to date, but I’d say not a desirable husband.

Stacey: Clearly this poll came from somewhere overseas and was filled out by Brits and 12 year olds.  Because people like Kate Moss and Cheryl Cole would not even hit the radar over here.  Ok, Russell Brand over Brad Pitt?  That just doesn’t seem right.

A really old picture of Cher & Chaz

The movie Burlesque comes out sometime soon (I’m not bothering to look up when) and Cher has been making the rounds really trying to drum up some awareness for the flick. Last week she was talking about her marriage to Sonny Bono and what went wrong and about getting used to calling her daughter “him” which are super interesting topics and get a lot of buzz. Then on David Letterman he was grilling – and she was dishing – on her romantic conquests:

Asked if Warren Beatty and Tom Cruise rumors were true, the Burlesque star, 64, replied, “Yeah.”

Elvis Presley? “Almost,” she said. “I got nervous, yeah.”

“So you never actually went out with him?” Letterman asked.

“No, but I wish that I had,” Cher replied. “Marlon Brando, too – I wished I had.”

Letterman continued with his list.

“Gene Simmons?”

Smiling, Cher quickly replied “Yes,” and then joked, “What is this, ‘This Is My Life in Men?’ It’s come to that? That’s beneath you – well, no, that’s not true.”

Wow, Cher is old. And thinking about her and Elvis getting it on is gross. I’m sure back when they were doing whatever they would have been all young and cute but the only visual I get is old Cher with fat Elvis. And Tom Cruise? Ewww. Cougar alert. She’s gotta be like 20 years his senior. Cher has really weird taste in men.

Cher is really making the rounds for this movie. Will you go see it?

Stacey: I won’t go see this movie but I do love Cher.  She is such a hussy.  I find it odd that she went out with Tom Cruise.  I mean, not for him…gay men love Cher…for her.  He doesn’t seem her type.

Of all the guys she was asked about, I wish I could have gone out with Marlon Brando.  No, not fat Marlon Brando.  Marlon Brando from A Street Car Named Desire or Guys and Dolls.  He used to be pretty hot.

(pic: Daily Mail)

AHA!  I have discovered how Tom Cruise has recently started to look younger and younger.  He is stealing Suri’s life force!  He recently admitted it in a interview with a German Magazine:

“I love all my children, but Suri is my fountain of youth”

You hear that?  He even admits that he would rather take it from Suri than his other children!  Plus, he has clearly sucked all of Katie Holmes life force out of her as she is now a pre programmed robot.  This is horrible!  We must do something before Suri is an emotionless droid like her mom.

Ok.  Maybe that’s not exactly what Tom is saying here, but doesn’t it give you the heebie jeebies just a little bit?

Tanya: That’s the same reason why Madonna keeps Jesus Luz around – to drain the youth from him to keep herself ‘fresh’.

I’m pretty sure there’s some kind of law against stealing peoples life force. If not, there really should be.

If you were thinking this is Madam Tussauds’ wax figure of Tom Cruise you would be…wrong!  This is the real Tom Cruise.  But he looks kind of weird.  And waxy.  And almost life like.

I don’t know what his story is lately or who his plastic surgeon is, but they seem to be turning back the clocks for Tom.  Because for a while he was looking like this.  But now he is looking younger and younger.  Which is weird and unatural.  And it ads to my pre-existing uneasiness when looking at Tom.

Below is one of Tom’s wax figures.  See.  Weird.  And also a little like John Edwards.

Tanya: Tom Cruise makes me uncomfortable.

(Pic: images.cdn.fotopedia.com)

Stacey: I like it too.  She is long and lanky enough to pull this off.  Although, it kind of reminds me of this.  Remember that?  As embarrassing as it was, it totally made my life.

(pic: JustJared)

Is it just me or does Tom Cruise look…younger?  Like, remember a couple of years ago, right after the whole jumping on the couch debacle he started to look old and withered.  But lately he looks…fresh?  Rejuvenated?  Almost like Tom Cruise back when he was still “it”, like in Mission Impossible and all that.  Maybe he has had some work done?  Maybe he is using Xenu to steal Katie Holmes life force?

Cameron Diaz on the other hand.  I hate to say it but she looks like a mail order bride/hooker.  This whole ansamble isn’t doing it for me.

They are promoting their new movie Knight and Day, which IMO looks terrible and I think that people are expecting it to be a flop.  Does anyone still pay to see Tom Cruise?

Tanya: I’m not feeling this movie, but I think some people are. My SIL the other day said she thought it looked good and she has pretty good taste so maybe it will make some money. My expectations are low. I think it’s the title that does it “Knight & Day”. Some titles make movies sound dumb.

Stacey: Yes!  This was also one of his issues with ex wife Nicole Kidman.  How tall is Tom Cruise? 5’9?  And both Nicole and Katie are like 5’11 without heels.  But 5’9 isn’t “short”.  He just needs to be with someone who isn’t taller than he is.  That way, he won’t need to wear heels and ban his wife from wearing them.

(pic: Dlisted)

And I felt like I was laughing at them, not with them.

Anyone else feel the same way?

Tanya: I felt fontrum. How embarrassing. JLo’s song from 2005 with Tom Cruise’s spoof character of 2008 isn’t the epitome of pop culture and MTV is supposed to be all about pop culture. Instead they should have had the guys from the Hangover do a dance-off with Lady Gaga, Christina Aguilera, Beyonce and Alicia Keys. THAT would have been hilarious.

As much as I dislike Tom Cruise, this video is kind of funny.  Tom filmed a promo as Les Grossman with Rob Pattinson for the MTV Movie awards.  It good that they both can have a sense of humor about themselves.

And I have to admit, when not being Edward and wearing his constant poopy face and with the British accent, RPatz can be pretty cute.

Tanya: “Your dirty hair sent my fat ass kid to space camp, 4 times.” Love it.