I guess now that he’s not working Tony Romo decided it would be a good time to get engaged. Or maybe he just wanted to get a kick out of really rubbing it in on Jessica Simpson that all of her ex’s are moving on. Tony did break up with her on her birthday so his sensitivity to timing events is not the greatest.

Go ahead and argue that Jessica Simpson is also engaged now and is sooooo happy with her new guy that she probably won’t care, but I get the feeling that she does. She cares a lot. And while this might not drive her to drink away her sorrows, it is definitely going to drive her to up the wedding ante. Now she has two weddings she has to upstage.

Stacey: Do you know what would complete the trifecta?  If John Mayer announced that he was engaged.

You know what she needs to do?  Announce that she is pregnant with triplets.  That would show them all up!

(pic: JustJared)

Jimmy Kimmel and the Handsome Men’s Club. Super funny but a little long, so when you’ve got 10 minutes check it out

And the plot thickens…

If you recall, Jessica dated John Mayer a while back.  She followed him all over the world like a famous groupie, dyed her hair dark to be taken more seriously, and allegedly participated in, ahem, golden showers.  Allegedly, people, allegedly.  But when they broke up she was said to be devastated.

Now, I can’t remember if there was anyone in between, but eventually she found Tony.  And she released a craptacular country cd, professed her undying love for him in all the magazines, and placed a curse on him and his team.  And then she got fat.  And Tony still loved her, which is great because most guys in the biz would have dumped her.  These two seemed destined to be together forever in white trash, Texas loving heaven.  But then he kicked her to the cold and lonely curb.  What could have happened?

According to Lainey, the reason for the what seems like a sudden split is because Jessica has been getting sexy texts from my favorite douche bag, John Mayer and Tony caught wind of it and flipped out.  Which I think he would have every right too.  Now, the real question isn’t whether or not he is texting her (he is totally texting her; it is a douchey thing to do) but rather why is he texting her?  Is he just doing it to stroke his own ego?  Or is he doing it because he still cares about Jess?

And if you were Jess who would you pick?  John or Tony?  I would for sure pick John.  Smart, wity, good looking, a talented musician, and also apparently very good in bed.  Tony seems like he is just such a red neck dork who wouldn’t know his ass from his elbow.

I am secretly hoping that Jess and John start dating again so that more of this can happen (because he loved her for her brains, right?) and Tony starts dating a sexy Playboy Playmate, which in turn would make Jess super insecure and threaten her relationship with John.  Am I a bad person?

Tanya: Booooo! John’s a douche! You already know he’s going to treat you like sh*t – why choose to go back to that? Romo may not be the most intelligent, but that’s probably a good thing for Jess. They can go to chili cook-offs together and have lots of little babies.

Do you remember this vomit inducing picture?  The one on Tony’s bday when Jess looks like she was sucking the Dallas Cowboy blue right out of him?  Once you have seen it, it is something your memory can’t un-see.

Well, People magazine is reporting that Tony has kicked the curvy Jessica to the curb.  And to add insult to injury, he allegedly dumped her close to her birthday.  Ouch.

I can’t say that I am sad that they split.  I mean, since they have been together Jessica has hexed the Cowboys, my husband’s team, she has plumped up, and there has been a non stop parade of these type of over the top, white trash PDAs.

Goooooood riddance I say.

Tanya: Anything that brings down the Cowboys is A-OK in my house. In picking which football mags to buy this year my husband’s criteria included: a) Eagles picked to win the Superbowl, b) Cowboys or Giants NOT winning the Superbowl and as a tie-breaker, c) Eagles player on the cover. If Jess was a Yoko, I’m sad to see her go.

They did suit each other well though – Texas girl with the Cowboys QB. Who do you think Pimp Joe Simpson is going to make her date next?

My husband says that horizontal stripes aren’t flattering on me because they accentuate my curves a little too much. As shown here with Jessica Simpson. She goes from “curvy” to “OMG! Look at those hips!!!”. Horizontal stripes make you look wider. It’s a fact.

Short + Wide. Not a good combo.

Stacey: I never ever wear stripes.  I am short and boxy, I have a gymnasts body type.  This dress would look atrocious on me.  The problem with Jess is I think that she thinks she is still tiny.  Because at one time, she probably would have rocked this dress.  Right now, she looks like she is wearing an over stuffed sausage casing. 

If you’ve been reading the blog for a bit you’ve probably picked up that my husband can be quite passionate when it comes to sports. Yesterday the Lakers and the Penguins both won. I came home from school to a very cranky husband.

He’s also a big Eagles fan. Huge Eagles fan. He goes into a depression each January when they don’t win the Super Bowl.

So as a “welcome back” to him from us, here’s Tony Romo, QB for the Cowboys (the Eagles arc rivals) and Jessica Simpson out to support the Lakers last night.

Love you!