(Pic: Celebitchy)

Remember a little while ago when I asked how much it would take for in order for you to allow yourself to be touched by a gross, old, but rich man?  I think we all agreed to there is no amount of money in the world that would allow for this.

Well, now I pose the same question to the guys.  Tori Spelling and her husband, Dean McDermott, have announced that they are expecting their thrid baby.  So that means, he has slept with Tori at least three seperate times.  And while he is no prize himself, I would just like you to look at this picture.  Look at it.

How much would it take for you to do the same?

Tanya: I couldn’t. She’s really quite gross.

Aside from her gross boobs, terrible stomach and her, uh, face, the thing that really bothers me about Tori Spelling is that EVERYTHING she does is some sort of publicity ploy. All she does is pimp her “celebrity” to try and make more money. Who watches her shows? Who buys her books? Who is actually interested in Tori Spelling?? I guess no one and that’s why she has to have another baby. Babies = public interest.

Every time I see Tori spelling she has enough makeup on her face that she could pass as a drag queen so it’s kinda refreshing to see her going out and letting her skin breathe. Oddly enough, she looks healthier without the makeup.

Stacey: She looks so much better without make up.  Lots of times, and I am sure some of our guy readers can back us up on this, that caked on make up look makes a woman look like a clown.  Light make up is usually the best choice.

(pic: Socialite Life)

Despite being dead, Farrah Faucet has been secretly contacting Tori Spelling to get Tori to send messages to her family. Tori pulled out the Ouiji Board to talk to her dad but got Farrah Faucet by accident:

“I was talking to a medium,” Tori told Access Hollywood in an interview to promote her third memoir, “uncharted terriTORI,” which hit bookstores on Tuesday. “I was hoping my dad [‘Charlie’s’ Angels’ producer Aaron Spelling] would come through.” Instead of hearing from her father, while sitting down with medium and talk show host John Edward, it was the former “Angel” Tori heard from. “Farrah Fawcett came through in my reading loud and clear,” Tori continued. “It was really awkward for him as well. He’s like, ‘I have never had this happen.’”

“She wanted me to give a message to her family about how she was doing and what was going on and I’m like, ‘Great! She really picked the wrong person,’” Tori laughed.

I’m not sure about this. My hunch is that she’s either trying to make stuff up to sell a third memoir, or she’s possibly a little insane. Maybe it’s a bit of both. How can someone have a reality show and three memoirs and expect people to still want more?

Stacey: People do want more though, that’s the problem.  But this seems like a sad cry for attention.  Shame on Tori for using Farrah to get some publicity.  Boo-urns!

(pic: Socialite Life)

Stacey, remember when I said Madonna has “Granny Cleavage” and you asked me to never say the words “Granny Cleavage” ever again? Well, I was looking through the I Smell Smut analytics and people are searching Google for “granny cleavage”, finding our site, and loving our posts. In fact, of all the ridiculous things people are searching for to find our site, “granny cleavage” is the #20 traffic driving keyword. That’s fairly high for something so weird and disturbing (Tori Spelling is #1; also weird and disturbing). I’m also loving the amount of traffic we get for the term “Motorboat“.

Some other personal faves:

“bathing suits to make your butt look bigger”

“cyrus’s parenting skills”

“jared leto pretentious”

“tits in Hawaii”

Heh. Analytics are fun

Stacey: LOL!  I love this story so much!  Granny Cleavage?  Who is searching for this term?  You people are sick.  You know who you are!  *gives side eye*

Candy Spelling masters Worst Mother Ever, moves on to Worst Grandmother Ever – I’m Not Obsessed

Katy Perry as Minnie Mouse – Socialite Life

Jessica Simpson takes the Girls out for dinner – LaineyGossip

Emma Watson’s Burberry Ads! – JustJared

Sam Worthington’s next project – Towelroad

Leo & Bar “Take a Break” – People

What Madge wants, Madge gets. – The Superficial

Angie films in NYC, Brad shops in Switzerland, who’s watching the kids? – Celebitchy

If you’re ever feeling a little down about your chest, just look at this photo. At least you don’t have this mess.

Thanks for making us all feel better about ourselves Tori!

Stacey: Tori’s body wouldn’t be all that bad if it wasn’t for that mangled boob job of hers.  I don’t understand how she could get those put in, look in the mirror, and thing “Yes, this is an improvement”.  Eek.  What did they look like before?

For the record, I would never get implants.  Mine are fine the way they are.  In fact, I would get them reduced before I would get them enlarged.

(Photo cred: LaineyGossip)

As voted by you, here are the Top 5 Worst Celebrity Couples.

If we can't cash in on our celebrity, we'll cash in on yours!

1. Tori Spelling & Dean McDermott
2. Heidi & Spencer
3. Ashton Kutcher & Demi Moore
4. Paris Hilton & Doug Reinhardt
5. Tie: Brangelina and Ice-T & Coco

Ouch. Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie on the same level of awfulness as Ice-T & Coco. Probably because we’re so bombarded with them all the time (Jen & Ben back together, Angie pregnant again, Angie has affair, Brad has affair, Jen & Angie talk adoption, blah, blah, blah, blah). They keep a low profile too. Imagine if they put in 1/100th of the time and effort our top 4 awful celebrity couples do to be photographed and named in the tabloids. *shudder*

Stacey: Well done I Smell Smut-ers.  I think that this is a pretty good (or bad) list.  I am especially happy that Brangelina made it in there.  But why all the hate on Coco?  Seriously.  How can you hate this woman? 

(Pic: awesternheart.blogspot.com)

You’ve voted for the Top 5 Celebrity Couples, now it’s time for vote for the worst!

"Wifey got ass"

Picking the worst couple is so much more fun than picking the best. Some people are just TOO much. We picked our least fave celebrity couples, but there are so many more to choose from (the Wentz’s, Richie & Madden, Jessica Simpson & Tony Romo, etc).

Our top choices make up the poll options below, and you can always leave a comment with the couples you think are the worst. That counts as a vote too.

Pick 5!

Which celebrity couple is THE worst? (Pick your least fave 5)

• Ashton Kutcher & Demi Moore (50%)
• Heidi & Spencer (60%)
• Brangalina (40%)
• Tom & Katie (30%)
• Tori Spelling & Dean McDermott (70%)
• Jessica Biel & Justin Timberlake (20%)
• Ice-T & Coco (40%)
• J-Lo & Marc Anthony (10%)
• Paris Hilton & Doug Reinhardt (50%)
• Other (say who it is in the comments!) (10%)

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Tags: angelina jolie, Ashton Kutcher, brad pitt, Coco, Dean McDermott, demi moore, Doug Reinhardt, Heidi & Spencer, Ice-T, jennifer lopez, jessica biel, Justin Timberlake, Katie Holmes, marc anthony, Paris Hilton, tom cruise, Tori Spelling

So Tanya suggested we compair our Top and Bottom 5 Celeb couples, since we seem to vary so greatly in who we love or hate…Tanya, I look forward to your list.

Stacey Top 5:

1. Posh and Becks

2. Reese and Jake

3. Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard

4. Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady

5. Gavin and Gwen

Tanya Top 5:

1. Beyonce & Jay-Z
2. Justin Timberlake & Jessica Biel
3. Gwen & Gavin
4. Ryan Reynolds & Scarlett Johansson
5. Will Smith & Jada Pinkett

Stacey Bottom 5:

1. Brangelina

2. Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore

3. Tom and Katie

4. Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake

5. J-Lo and Marc Anthony

Tanya Bottom 5:

1. Heidi & Spencer
2. Ashton Kutcher & Demi Moore
3. Tori Spelling & Dean McDermott
4. Ice-T & Coco
5. Paris Hilton & Doug Reinhardt (sorry for even mentioning her but these two are gross)

Tanya: I’m glad you have Brady & Bundchen on your list I love them. They, Afleck & Garner, David Duchovny & Tea Leoni, and Seal & Heidi Klum were close cuts for my top 5. Celebrity couples are quick to change, they may make it in the top 5 still.

Can’t believe Brad and Angie made your bottom 5!! Is it because you don’t like them or don’t like how they came to be (the broken marriage thing)?.

Stacey: No Tanya!  Not Coco!  I love her!  Maybe not Ice-T but Coco is amazing!

And Spencer and Heidi and Paris and her flavor of the month were originally in my Bottom 5 but I refuse to acknowledge them as celebrities. 

And I hate Brad and Ang as a couple and as individuals.  Their holier than thoughness bugs the crap out of me.