Dear Zac Efron,

Whoever told you that your moustache makes you look mature was lying to you. It makes you look super skeevy. Like “I molest young children in Chuck-e-Cheese bathrooms” skeevy.

Just thought you should know.

xoxox,

I Smell Smut

Kellan Lutz, Zac Efron & Joe Jonas were all at the Calvin Klein menswear show at Fashion Week in NYC and I think Zac is a little self conscious. You’d think standing between a Jonas brother and one of the “not Edward” Twilight vampires would make you feel pretty good about yourself and your accomplishments to date but clearly Zac feels emasculated. It looks like he’s sticking his chest out and standing on his tip-toes to puff himself up to be as manly as Kellan Lutz, or at the least a little bigger than Joe Jonas.

Zac, you’re short and lean. Deal with it. Judging by the ladies that love you it’s a good niche to be in. Leave the beefy guy loving ladies to Kellan Lutz and the tween girls to the Jonas. There are plenty of ladies left to do around.

Stacey: What is up with Zac lately?  He’s looking a little…puffy.  And why is he hanging out with Joe Jonas?  Is Joe hiring friends now too?

(pic: I’m Not Obsessed)

(Pic: www.babble.com)

In case anyone cares, and I know there are those out there who do (not me), Us Weekly is reporting that Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens have split.

Whatev’s, in my opinion.

Although it may be interesting to see who he steps out with next.

Tanya: I wonder how long ago they split… Vanessa’s new movie Beastly just came is (is coming out?) so it seems like this is timed to gain some publicity for her which could also benefit the movie. I think they may have split a while ago and just not bothered to mention it until now. But that could just be the cynic in me. It will be more interesting to see her at premiers if she’s bring around new men though…

Remember when Leonardo DiCaprio was trying to overcome his teen actor status to be taken seriously as a man? Zac Efron totally reminds me of that. He’s got the pretty boy face that will always kinda make him look like a teenager. Leo DiCaprio still has that too. I don’t remember if Leo grew a beard to be taken seriously, but I don’t think this is going to work for Zac. Maybe he needs to run around with some strippers instead.

Stacey: Ugh.  *eye roll*  I don’t like this kid.  And the more he does stuff like this, the more I dislike him.  Its the same thing as Jared Leto.  Its like, he is trying to look like he doesn’t care but you know that he totally cares and this look was planned and put together.  There is nothing “spontaneous” about this look.  You know when you see Keanu Reeves running around looking like a ragamuffin that his look really is him just not caring.  But with Zac it was planned three months ago, or however long it took him to grow this sad excuse for a beard.

(pic: Justjared)

Zac Efron at the Charlie St Cloud Premiere

Zefron and some friends hit up a New York strip club last weekend and spent around $2,000 on vodka and lap dances. On his visit to Jimmy Kimmel last night to promote Charlie St Cloud Jimmy asked him about the experience:

“I had this image of what it’d be like. I’ve heard a lot about these places, mostly from rap music – they’re ’sposed to be pretty reputable! So I envisioned myself in a nice couch with stunna shades with T-Pain and Usher making it rain money! And it just wasn’t like that.”

I imagine there are some strip clubs that are like that, but any one I’ve ever been to is covered in vinyl and full of people who give off the heebie-jeebie vibes. Maybe it’s because I’m not a high roller. I can barely make it drizzle *tear*

Stacey: I know some people, or more, someone who likes to frequent strip joints (you know who you are)…is it ever like what Zac envisioned?  I think this is the disservice that rap does to strip joints…make them seem more glamorous than they actually are.  Then when young men turn 18 and get to hit up their first nudie bar, they are let down.  Way to go guys.  You’ve ruined it for everyone!

(pic: JustJared)

I try to be on Zac Efon’s side because everyone else likes to hate on him, but I can’t defend this. I’m sorry Zac, but WTH? Just cut the hair and move on please.

Stacey: What is this look exactly.  Was he at the fair earlier having a swirl ice cream cone and though “That would make a great hair do”?  I don’t get it. 

(pic: Socialite Life)

Zac Efron frolicking at the beach. I don’t think this kid has a single spot of body fat on him.

In other Efron news, Zac’s new movie Charlie St Cloud is coming out pretty soon. I checked out the trailer awhile back and it actually looked pretty good.

(pic: JustJared)

Apparently Disney has a rule book on how to go from ‘child star’ to ‘serious adult’ and it involves kissing girls on stage. Britney Spears did it, then Lindsay Lohan, then Vanessa Hudgens, and now Miley Cyrus is. Here’s Miley becoming an adult on the stage of Britain’s Got Talent.

Stacey: Didn’t you know that you aren’t really a “woman” until you kiss another chick?  Come on, I thought this was common knowledge.

The funny thing about this is that Miley thinks she is being cutting edge and daring, when the truth is that this is old and boring.  This doesn’t shock us any more.  In fact, I would have been more shocked id she didn’t kiss another chick.  This is pretty standard stuff.  Sad but true.

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(Pic: Just Jared)

Excuse me, Zac Efron?  Umm, yes.  You have something on your upper lip, you might want to wipe it off.

Oh!  You know its there?

Its facial hair?

Oh, I see.

Well, just because you can grow facial hair, doesn’t mean you should.  You look like a dillhole.

Tanya: I think he looks kinda like Leo DiCaprio in this pic.

(Pic: Just Jared)

Seriously…doesn’t this hair do totally remind you of There’s Something About Mary?

I think Zac Efron might be cute if it weren’t for his hair.  His hair over the years has just been so primped and poofed and planned.  And you can totally tell that he must have spent, like, an hour doing his hair before he would leave the house.  And that he would totally freak out if even one little strand was out of place.  It just looks like he is trying so so hard.  There is nothing accidental about this look.  Which means he wanted it to look like he has some guy’s gunk in his hair.  Gross.

Tanya: LOL! It totally looks like jiz hair. If Zac didn’t look so intentional he’d be crazy hot. But instead he looks like he’d glance over your shoulder to catch his own reflection in the mirror when you’re making out.

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